I am an inspirational recovery poet. I have 2 kids and an a former widow of 6 years and am now currently engaged to an amazing man that just so happens to have the same name as my late husband.
Care for myself
If I want a life of true wealth I need to take care of my health. For years I hurt my body with my inebriating ways, which caused me to run astray. I had no care for myself especially my health. I lived as if I was invincible and life was just so simple. I had no desire to handle any responsibility, and lived my life very foolishly. Now in the present I am having to deal with the repercussions of my past, which feels as sharp as shards of glass. I have to continue to fight unhealthy desires, that seem to be unquenchable fires. Sometimes it feels like I'm drowning and struggling to keep my head above water, but I know the one above won't let me falter. As long as I stay connected to my strength above he will always provide me with enough.
She seems to take on the weight of the world in her hands, but people don't ever seem to give her a glance. She chases little people all the time and barely gets to wine. If only people really knew everything she really does endure they may no longer make her feel so insecure. They may actually lift her up with encouragement instead of arguing over petty disagreements. It takes a lot more than most realize to be a mother, and there aren't many who are tougher. Despite the struggle a mom wouldn't ever want it any different, because the memories she has with her children is truly magnificent.
She feels trapped in the power of her own mind. The depth of her own angst has not been at all kind. The shrouded pain from her own fear has caused her to lack independence, ans as a result she has built a fence. She longs for the oppurtunity of liberation from all this inner frustration. She does have a glimmer of hope ever since she put down the dope. She knows this peace that she desires will not be possible without pushing through the fire. There is healing on the other side and she soon will finally be able to enjoy the peace that recovery will provide.
Fear grips my soul and creates a large dark hole. I am shaken to my core and feel extremely sore. Being exposed to such chaos so early in life created in me a lot of strife. Left with this pain of my past and unsure of how to not have it last. In danger of repeating the cycle of destruction, yet unsure of how to properly function. There needs to be a way of escape so that this turmoil does not escalate. I have faith that someday I will be rescued and will start having a more blessed mood.
Deep dark road
With spikes our veins, pikes calling our name, and straws showing no shame we carried our load down the deep dark road. People who were once on our journey are now lifeless on a gurney. This disease does not discriminate, it will take anyone it can incriminate. Recovery is our only option for survival from this internal malady inside our brain. When we choose this option we finally enter the correct lane. Recovery offers a daily reprieve from the evil that once had us captured and almost dead. We have survived and made it to the shore so that we can now be led. Once we are led further along we can sing to others our daily song. No addict should have to die without recovery as an option to survive. Now that our load is lighter we can show others how to be a strong fighter. We are all warriors against the drugs that have destroyed us, and staying focused on recovery daily for our medicine is a must!
No right way to grieve
I wanted to believe I was ok, but that from truth was very far away. I felt I deserved to stay in this pain, not realizing this was the wrong mind frame. I needed freedom to handle this anguish in my own way, instead of running astray. Once I escaped the ridicule of others telling me how to grieve I finally got some relief. I now could feel my pain and healing begin to gain. My journey hasn't been an easy one, and without the one above my life would be done. Over time my life has become easier to handle, and I no longer treat life like a gamble.