Reflections on Love
I used to convince myself that love did not exist—or at least that I was incapable of feeling it. I used to tell myself true love was a myth, that the closest thing to true love was motherly love and I knew too well that even motherly love was not the unconditional, beautiful concept everyone had made it out to be. The truth is, my cynicism was simply one of the several mechanisms in place to avoid getting hurt. After all, it was Sappho who said, “She who loves roses must be patient and not cry out when she is pierced by thorns.” Thus I concluded, if I do not love, I cannot get hurt. So I went about my life cautiously, only investing into my relationships as much as I thought the other person was investing into me. I kept my distance and kept my guard up. Of course, I had friends and romantic partners but I tried my best to remain emotionally detached, reminding myself that in this life, you are fundamentally alone. I got hurt anyways. Ultimately, humans are social creatures; it is in our nature to seek others. Therefore, even despite putting up an emotional barrier between yourself and the rest of the world, our craving for closeness will eventually break the barrier and the pain of loneliness will find you.
