Liz is a sex and relationship advice blogger on TheNakedAdvice.com. She writes about topics related to politics, culture, feminism, race, and psychology. Her YouTube channel tackles everything from sexual fetishes to trigger warnings.
I was 17 years old when they discovered the brain tumor. The size of a pea, it rested in the right temporal lobe, close to my ear. It had been slowly growing and gradually plaguing me and everyone I loved for almost a year, when the strange behavior first began at the start of my senior year of high school.
“Sexual compatibility is a learned behavior in marriage, not something you can ‘test’ for.” I wish that this meme was true. There are several reasons it’s not. Where should I start?
As I sit at my desk, sipping on a soy chai tea latte and preparing to write, I find myself thinking about all the people who believe the term feminism should be replaced with a word that's less divisive. Frankly, whichever word we use to define the belief that women should not be oppressed is going to be fraught with negative connotations, put there by people seeking to undermine the movement's progress and by "feminists" who misrepresent the point of the movement by saying crazy things like "all sex is rape." Which led me to thinking about another term I do believe should be removed from our vernacular: The Opposite Sex. We should replace it with “The Other Sex.” The former denotes a warring situation; we oppose each other. The latter denotes an egalitarian relation; it says we are peers, not foes.
When I began eating a vegetarian diet in 2001, my live-in boyfriend at the time did not. We had both come upon information about how much healthier it was to substitute vegetable proteins for meat, the cruelty involved in raising and butchering animals for food, and the environmental impact of our taste for animal flesh. But while I was moved to act, he was content to not change, saying “I just like to eat meat too much to stop”. I found it a huge turn-off, and this was one of a few reasons why he became an ex-boyfriend. To me, it was another example of how rigid he was, his inability to personally evolve.
Maybe it's me, being the product of a white American father and a black Ethiopian mother, but I find it extremely weird when I see couples who look like they're related. And I'm not talking just superficially similar in looks, like they have the same hair color and skin color, I mean when they appear so similar that there is no doubt in my mind that strangers regularly ask them "Are you twins/cousins/father and daughter?"
There’s a trend I’ve noticed in recent years: A subgenre of porn called “Ignore” videos, in which the stars are fully clothed and do regular activities (such as talk on their phone or read a book) while ignoring the viewer, have become popular lately. Some men get aroused by being ignored or from the voyeuristic point-of-view. Other “porn” stars (if you can call them that) remain clothed and simply bark directives at the viewer, fulfilling specific fantasies like treating the viewer like a dog or jerk off instruction (JOI).
He took me to a beautiful French restaurant in Los Angeles for dinner on a crisp fall evening in 2007. He had approached me at the coffee shop the week before and asked me out, after chatting me up while we both sipped pumpkin spice lattes. He was friendly and sported the salt and pepper hair that hinted he was probably a touch older than the men I usually dated, but I agreed to a date because I wanted to give it a chance.