Wuthering Heights: A Novel to Get Hammered By
Just like love, this novel had me drinking and kicking things. The main lady is a bitch. The main dude, who you like at first, turns into an a-hole, obsessed with Bitchypants. EVERYBODY in the damn thing needs EMDR therapy.
In the Pink Eye of the Beholder
Gloria was gorgeous. And worse, kind. As an adult, her beauty, her essence, didn't just stop traffic, it had the effect of seeming to stop time. Many a man lost minutes of his life he will never get back having caught a glimpse of Gloria, unable to avert his gaze until she was no longer in sight. The effect Gloria had on women was, of course, different, but equally profound. (I am convinced my own thigh density spontaneously increased by a good 20% in her presence.) Ironically, Gloria’s genuine passion was for making people feel good. And she’d always been that way, which is probably why the overwhelming jealousy I had of her when we were growing up, could never blossom into full-blown hatred.