"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”—Hamlet, Shakespeare
All of my articles leading up to now have documented my struggles coming to terms with my experiences as an alien contactee and abductee. Making sense of this as a family heritage. Dealing with my emotions as my children become part of this scary fertility program, and learning to cope with my apparent role helping those like me in the future. But this phenomenon goes deeper than these surface issues. These issues are on a mostly conscious level. These things that define me, make me who I am, permeate my being down to my soul.
“Erin, watch where you’re walking.”
Have you ever been consumed by a heaviness, a darkness, an inability to see the forest for the trees? Did it leave you feeling lost and forgetting where you were headed in the first place? This is spiritual depression. It’s an existential crisis that often foretells an awakening. What follows is a shedding of layers, a release of unneeded habits, emotions, and even people. When you are this lost, this confused, this sensitive, you feel that there is no lower you can go. And, when you’re raw—and you will be—you’re ready to be healed of old traumas. Coming through this “dark night of the soul” will bring about new spiritual understandings. This spiritual understanding can only be achieved after, and because, you’ve faced the darkness head-on.
My sister-in-law called me the other day. “I had this crazy dream.”
My husband is a musician. As such, I often find myself tucked into a corner somewhere, sending messages to the universe that I hopefully go unnoticed. Tonight, I am seated in a small room, in a chair pushed up against the wall, at a birthday party full of people I have never met. I stay in this room, surrounded by dancers who keep stepping on my feet and bumping into my knees, all because I refuse to leave the familiar faces of the band members because they are the only people I know here. It is the perfect setting for me to pull out my notebook (is it really? I am already sticking out like a sore thumb) and begin my article on familiarity as it manifests in the contactee phenomenon.