I never knew you could be addicted to love. This love could be the light in you or the love that kills you. Your drug is so addicting. I always need more. I always want more. There is always more to have from you.
I had a plan. Finish school, get married, and have kids. God had something else up his sleeves. Never did I expect to become a mom at age 21, let alone becoming a single mom. When I took the home pregnancy test and I saw that this time this test was positive, I was shocked. Full of emotions (I have had other pregnancy scares in the past with my best friend), I told my best friend/father of my child I was pregnant over a text message, since he wasn't answering his phone. I felt alone because I knew what his reaction was going to be. During this time, he and I were going through some things to where we were not in a healthy place. I truly thought it was going to be me and my child forever in the beginning. He didn't want anything to do with our baby when I found out. It took months for him to come around. He may have been there my whole pregnancy, but he caused me a lot of stress. I had many nights where I cried myself to sleep. I would find myself walking into work with red eyes because he was making me cry. Never was it easy. I was hurting a lot and he seem like he didn't care about my feelings or about the stress he was putting on to our baby.
It's been two years since you lost your battle to cancer daddy. It still doesn't feel real that you're gone. Gone for good. You may be here spiritually, but that's not the same. Life isn't the same without you.
My life changed when you came into it three years ago. I fell so deeply for you. We became best friends pretty quickly. Three years later I found out I was pregnant. We still were just best friends. You had a whole "girlfriend" that treated you and still does, like shit.