Caitlyn Hicks

Caitlyn Hicks

Co-Founder of Bacon Tits Guns and no whining. If you don't like stuff we say, please no whining please.

  • Caitlyn Hicks
    Published 26 days ago
    The Real Winner of the 2020 Election: Jeremy Boreing

    The Real Winner of the 2020 Election: Jeremy Boreing

    As of this writing, there still is no clear winner in the 2020 US Presidential election between Joe Biden and President Donald Trump. In the time since Wednesday, we've seen several scandals unfold, causing both sides to cry afoul. While one man will eventually become President, they will do so in a way which will be contested in the eyes of their detractors. The process itself has lost credibility in the eyes of both the right and the left, meaning that whatever happens in the White House, our democratic republic clearly is not the winner in this election. It is hopefully a low point in American history which will be fixed for future elections in the courts, but hey, after 2020, not to mention 4 years of vehemently disgusting mainstream media lies, most of us don't have a lot of hope left for happy endings.
  • Caitlyn Hicks
    Published about a month ago
    Cuties Review: 10/10 Wood Chippers

    Cuties Review: 10/10 Wood Chippers

    This may seem off topic, but I’ve been living in the South now for ten years. Northwest Florida to be exact, and also, just to clarify, it has been an awesome ten years. I was born in California (don’t hold that against me) but have lived all across this great nation of ours. I’ve experienced life on the beaches of Southern California, in the woods of Northern California and Oregon as well as the desert and mountains of Arizona. I know well the vastness of both the “Deliverancey” rural areas and the gang ridden big cities of our Midwestern states. While all these areas certainly had their cons, they all came with their pros as well. Still, no place has spoken to me quite like Northwest Florida, and to a certain extent Louisiana, where I vacation as often as possible. You can count on me to espouse the magnificence of Northwest FL fairly often, but I mention it here because of a joke many “natives” of the region have about me. You see, for the ten years I have lived here, our region hasn’t been hit by a single hurricane. There have been several that were heading towards us, but each and every time, the storm either switched directions or dissipated into something much weaker by the time it arrived in our neck of the woods. Locals began to wonder, jokingly and usually after all of our good material had been used up, was Caitlin some sort of good luck charm to ward off hurricanes? Just imagine, me, a Heaven-sent translesbian rain deflector. As an Englishman might say, “Not bloody likely!”, but then again, who knows! I’ve always had the philosophy, but especially in 2020, that I’ll believe anything is possible.
  • Caitlyn Hicks
    Published about a month ago
    An Open Letter To Racist People

    An Open Letter To Racist People

    I woke up the other day to a wall of text from a National Socialist who puts way too much stock in race. This was my response.
  • Caitlyn Hicks
    Published 2 months ago
    The First 100 Days of My Quest to Reclaim My Health

    The First 100 Days of My Quest to Reclaim My Health

    So, Mark McCandless of Team McCandless challenged me to a “Getting Healthy” contest, since we are both fat disgusting pigs not too far a walk off from death who desperately need to permanently change our lifestyles to something involving less candy and deep fried meat. Which is probably why he challenged me to this particular contest, because he knew I’m the one person so competitive, it doesn’t matter how badly I don’t want to quit eating Arby’s, given my ego is larger than my massively grotesque gut, I refuse to turn down competition. While the official start date was on October 1st, I decided to give Mark a 15 day head start. I like to do little things like that in a competition, things I shouldn't, because it increases the effectiveness of my gloating after I win. Here’s the plan for my first 100 days. Yes, I'm not fully beginning everything until October 15th, although I will be slowly getting my body used to doing things besides sleeping, eating and working in front of a computer.