Viscount of Hyrkania and private cartographer to the house of Beifong.
Spring 2021 starts on March 20th, unless it started on March 1st.
“Happy first day of Spring!” A coworker said to me, and she wasn’t the first one to say it. I looked outside, it was snowing. It had snowed almost everyday since November. What were these people thinking? This was not Spring.
Either I'm having a COVID fever dream or "Space Jam 2" is real and important
I must be unwell. Perhaps I should get tested for COVID-19. See, I think I’m having a fever dream, I’ve been seeing things that just can’t be so. Remember like a decade ago there was that joke going around the internet that there ought to be a Space Jam 2 starring LeBron James? What a ridiculous idea that would be. I mean, Space Jam was a movie that was largely enjoyed ironically, a so-bad it’s good film. I mean the movie was based on a Nike commercial.
6 of the Best Shaggy Dog Stories
A shaggy dog story is a kind of joke, but one that's on the listener. They're meandering stories with purposefully anti-climatic endings. The name comes from a story about a man with a dog, and everyone comments on how shaggy this dog is. One day he enters the dog in a "shaggiest dog competition." He does a lot of training for the competition. On the big day, a judge takes one look at his dog and says "That dog isn't that shaggy."
FAQ about being an English teacher in Japan.
I worked as a teacher of English as a foreign language in Japan, 2008-09. I worked for GEOS which was a private company with small language schools all over the country. I specifically worked in two towns, Gotemba and Mishima, both were near Mount Fuji. These are some questions I was asked while working in Japan.
The reason we divide up our days into two sets of twelve.
As a great philosopher of our time put it, “Time is a valuable thing, Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings, Watch it count down to the end of the day, The clock ticks life away.” But why is time counted the way it is--the day first divided by two (AM and PM) then twelve (hours) then sixty (minutes) and then sixty again (seconds). It’s also so needlessly complicated. Why don’t we have a nice metric style system where everything is divisible by ten? To understand how we came to our current system of timekeeping we need to first ask this question:
Let’s cancel everything to torment conservative snowflakes.
I recently walked into the middle of an animated conversation about how Dr. Seuss was being canceled which was horrible because the speakers all loved Dr. Seuss (the speakers all being middle aged adults). At the time I had no idea what they were talking about, but I immediately sensed that it was all bullshit.
On being signed by a talent agency
In 2007 I was at a music festival, Pointfest, l when I passed by a tent for Images Agency Models & Actors. They were offering candy if you gave them your contact information. I gave them my contact info and then forgot about it.
Pangolin Powers: 100 dubious claims about the world’s only scaly mammal
1. Pangolins curl into a ball to protect themselves from predators and awkward social situations. 2. Pangolin tongues are longer than their bodies, when not in use they are curled up within their chest. Just like a human! (Other people have tongues like that, right?)