Just a mom of an angel trying to figure her way through grief one blog at a time.
Monster in Law Pt.1
So the other day I saw an article on Facebook with the headline "Why it's OKAY to cut toxic family members from your life." Without even reading the article, my mother in law came right to mind. Now I know that may sound harsh, but hear me out. Let me start by saying, I never would have thought at the time that I would end up resenting my mother in law so deeply that I had no interest in her being a part of my life at all. I had hopes and dreams like most women do... For example, the perfect wedding experience... The dress shopping, the bridal and bachelorette parties, the morning of while getting ready, the ceremony, the toasts, and all the family events to follow. I pictured the perfect relationship with her. But, like they say, you can't see the future.
My Letter to You...
To my past self: Everything you thought was going to break you, every moment you thought you couldn't go on... It will pass. You will find a way to fight through it. In the moment, it seems impossible to move on. It seems like it is the end of the world. That is because, as children, we do not know how to move past the pain. But you will get through it. You will learn, grow, experience. You are strong. You can accomplish ANYTHING you put your mind to! I promise you, it will get easier. But it will also get harder. You have challenges ahead that will test your strength, loyalty, faith, and beliefs. It will test friendships, relationships with family, and everything have ever learned. You will face things...painful things. The unimaginable. But you can do it! Stay strong. "This too shall pass".
I’m cleaning the house and this song comes onto Pandora. I instantly stop... speechless, numb, frozen. Suddenly my ENTIRE life comes into question. I sit down and start thinking about everything that has happened to me (mostly just in the last 6 months). I have too many emotions to focus on just one and I have too many questions that cannot be answered, which is frustrating and confusing. I am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, and I do believe God has a purpose for everyone and everything. But what I cannot wrap my head around is (WHY) he allows BAD things to happen to GOOD people. I suppose to make them stronger, but why so much hurt, anger, pain, and sorrow?