Asmae El assri
Bio
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Stories (19/0)
Let it GO
Letting go can make you impregnable. I know because I let go of a relationship and reclaimed my life. And I know that letting go can produce the stylish of change for each and everyone of you. Let me tell you a story. When I was 41, the death of a relationship showed me how to truly let go of what was not working. See, over until that time, I did not really suppose about the future. I kind of lived my life like a canine- moment to moment. I chased balls; I ate whatever I could find on the ground. And life was good. I had a great job, great musketeers, a great apartment, a great factual canine, and a great swain. Well, sort of. See, Hector did not have any skin in the game, and I felt that. He danced around the veritably idea of marriage, and after 12 times, we did not indeed live together. Still, he gave me hope. Well, occasionally. More like living in a situation that had no stopgap just felt normal. Do not get me wrong. I stayed because Hector was a good looking, smart, dependable, and sensitive joe who watched, and while our relationship was not perfect, it worked in proposition. Until a wake- up call from a friend changed everything. So, my realtor friend called to tell me about a condo coming up for trade in my Chicago neighborhood. She knew that I was looking for Hector to commit and allowed,'' Well, perhaps this could inspire a little forward stir.'' Still, my first inclination was to say," We are not ready. Not yet."" Not yet." That was Hector's favorite banner. I would say,'' I want to get wedded.'' He would say,'' Not yet.'' I'd say,'' Let's live together.''" Not yet."'' Not yet'' was a hair I could not get out of my eye and a bad song I could not get out of my head. So, you could imagine my surprise when he said" Sure'' to meeting me at the condo at noon. Now, I arrived beforehand and eager. But Hector? well that was another story. 1215 came. 1230. 1245. 100 pm. No Hector. ultimately, he called, commodity had come up. So, we agreed to reconvene at three, but Hector was a no- show again. It was in that moment that I decided, after 12 times, it was time to let go. See, I had to let go of Hector and of the idea of marrying him or anybody because at 41, my options were scary. I could either stay with a man who could not commit, but was great on all the leaves and birthdays, or I could break up with him and be alone. Not that letting go of a good man I truly loved was easy. No, no. I had to survive the consequences of my epiphany, and that is when the pain stage demurred in." You and Hector will not be together ever. You will not be his person. In fact, he will presumably meet notoriety differently presto, marry her, and she will be his person. And also, you are going to have to live with the fact that you made a mistake." I unattractive cried, ate a lot of pizza, heeded to a lot of Joni Mitchell. And also, when I could not rub my eyes presently without hitting bone or imagine Hector in a marriage print with another woman, presumably in a size- 6 dress, I brushed myself off. See, I let go of the fear that I would grow old and die alone, that my musketeers would use me as an exemplary tale, that it was too late for me. No, no. In that moment, I had to eventually admit what I really wanted, which was more. You see, Hector not showing up, that was a gift, and that it gave me freedom because let's face it, I'd been chasing that ball for 12 times. No, no. It was time to move on, indeed if I risked rejection. So, I made a plan, one that got clearer with every step. Of course, Hector had a reason for his no- show. But by also, it did not count. I told him it was over. I quit my job, I hugged my musketeers, I vended my beautiful condo in the same neighborhood that delivered me that life- changing epiphany. I let go of everything to start a whole new life in New Hope, Pennsylvania. To which he said,'' Do not go, we'll get wedded.'' To which I said,'' You had twelve times.'' To which he said,'' I will come visit.'' To which I said,'' Not yet.'' Was it hard? you go. Was it worth it? Within a time of leaving, I met my hubby Dan online. I knew when he showed up for our first date, in the most wrinkled shirt I've ever seen, with a rain chapeau to keep me dry walking from the eatery to the auto, that this was my joe. You see, screens were for people who wanted distance. Too heavy a wind, you know, turned them outside out, and indeed the stylish of them only lasted so long. But a rain chapeau, you know, the kind with a string, and you tie it under your chin, Now, that is particular. And after four dates, it turned to love. Eventually, I understood why I had to stay so long. Dan was handsome and wise and soulful and kind, and he made me feel like I could do and be anything. We could. And we got married a time latterly. When I turned 50, Hector failed of cancer. And as you can imagine, I suffered for a veritably long time. But his death reaffirmed for me the pledge I made to myself when I was 41 that I would no way take time for granted again. rather, I would use it to let go, to produce space for the effects I really wanted and for what signified most. Then are five ways to let go I know work because I still use them every single day. One. Let go of taking effects tête-à-tête. I spent a lot of time wondering why Hector did not love me enough to marry me until I realized that his incapability to commit had lower to do with me and further to do with his duty to his family. Now, I am not saying that wasn't a hard lozenge to swallow, but there was a lot of peace in knowing that it was his issue and not some disfigurement in me. However, or if they are just carrying poorly, utmost times, if people are not giving you what you want. Two. Let go of what other people suppose. So, after my hubby and I dated for a couple of months, I took him home to meet my parents.'' He is veritably good- looking,'' my mama said.'' You know, Ted Bundy is veritably good looking. Now, I could've let this influence my conduct, could have let my imagination run wild with studies of my new beau pecking me while I slept but rather, I just chalked it up to my mama. There's a rule in business that states Whenever you're putting commodity out there, 10 of people will detest it, 80 will be indifferent, and 10 will be your raving suckers. And raving suckers are stupendous, but if notoriety’s not a raving addict, let that be okay too. Three. Let go of trying to be commodity you are not. Now, I've this crazy big personality that I actually call" the Big." Some people really like the Big. Some people are fascinated by it, kind of the way they're fascinated by jugglers. And others just run down. But it’s who I am. I've tried to turn down the current on the Big, but hard as I try, there it is. There are some effects we just can not change about ourselves, and that is a good thing. Four. Let go of the need to be perfect. numerous times agone, I wrote a column for Shape Magazine, and I got a lot of correspondence from compendiums, including a veritably sad letter from this teenage girl asking for my advice on how to ameliorate herself after her absolutely nightmare swain had her strip down so he could notice her body. This is a true story. I said,'' Dump him incontinently, and no way let anybody make you feel bad about yourself again." But we all know that feeling the need for perfection isn't just about our weight. It's also about keeping the house clean and the tykes prepped and the kiddies healthy and the heads happy and all the balls in the air. It's indeed about keeping our youth complete. And yet, who wants to be musketeers with someone who is perfect? suppose about that. And incipiently, five- my favorite! Let go of'' Not yet.'' You know, when I left Chicago, my life was enough good, it just was not Goodenough. However, make a plan and act, but do not stay, if there’s commodity you want to do. I still suffer for Hector, you know, it just comes in swells now. But it’s the phone call I can not make that reminds me to make every day count. And I encourage you all to do the same. Whatever that is, I say,'' Let go for it.''
By Asmae El assri11 months ago in Humans
life is easy not hard
There's one expression that I've always wanted to say to everyone in my life. That expression is" Life is easy." It's so easy and delightful. I no way allowed like that ahead. When I was in Bangkok, I felt like life is veritably hard, veritably complicated. I was born in a poor villa on the Northeastern of Thailand and when I was a sprat, everything was delightful and easy, but when the television came, numerous people came to the villa, they said," You're poor, you need to chase success in your life. You need to go to Bangkok to pursue success in your life." So, I felt bad, I felt poor. So, I demanded to go to Bangkok. When I went to Bangkok, it wasn’t veritably delightful. You need to learn, study a lot and work veritably hard, and also you can get success. I worked veritably hard, eight hours per day at least, but all I could eat was just a coliseum of polls per mess, or some Tame dish of fried rice or commodity like that. And where I stayed was veritably bad, a small room where a lot of people slept. It was veritably hot. I started to question a lot. When I work hard, why is my life so hard? It must be commodity wrong, because I produce a lot of effects, but I can not get enough. And I tried to learn, I tried to study. I tried to study in the university. It’s veritably hard to learn in university, because it’s veritably boring. And when I looked at subjects in the university, in every faculty, utmost of them had destructive knowledge. There is no productive knowledge in university formed. However, that means you ruin more, if you learn to be a mastermind or mastermind. The further these people work; the mountain will be destroyed more. And a good land in Chao Praia Basin will be covered with concrete more and more. We destroy more. However, that means we learn how to poison, to bane the land, if we go to husbandry faculty or commodity like that. I feel like everything we do is so complicated, so hard. We just make everything hard. Life was so hard and I felt disappointed. I started to suppose about, why did I've to be in Bangkok? I allowed about when I was a sprat, nothing worked eight hours per day, everybody worked two hours, two months a time, planting rice one month and harvesting the rice another month. The rest is free time, ten months of free time. That is why people have so numerous carnivals in Thailand, every month they’ve jubilee. Because they've so important free time. And also in the day, everyone indeed takes a nap. Indeed, now in Laos, go to Laos if you can, people take a nap after lunch. And after they wake up, they just dish, how's your son- in- law, how's your woman, son- in- law. People have a lot of time, but because they've a lot of time, they've time to be with themselves. And when they've time to be with themselves, they've time to understand themselves. When they understand themselves, they can see what they want in their life. So, numerous people see that they want happiness, they want love, they want to enjoy their life. So, people see a lot of beauty in their life, so they express that beauty in numerous ways. Some people by sculpturing the handle of their cutter, veritably beautiful, they weave the baskets veritably nicely. But, now, nothing does that. nothing can do commodity like that. People use plastic far and wide. So, I feel like it’s commodity wrong in there, I can not live this way I am living. So, I decided to quit University, and went back home. When I went back home, I started to live like I flash back, like when I was a sprat. I started to work two months a time. I got four tons of rice. And the whole family, six people, we eat lower than half a ton per time. So, we can vend some rice. I took two ponds, two fish ponds. We've fish to eat all time round. And I started a small theater.
By Asmae El assri11 months ago in Humans
Replace your stress by a calm mind
A many times agone , I broke into my own house. I had just driven home, it was around night in the nothingness of Montreal downtime, I had been visiting my friend, Jeff, across city, and the thermometer on the frontal veranda read minus 40 degrees-- and do not bother asking if that is Celsius or Fahrenheit, minus 40 is where the two scales meet-- it was veritably cold. And as I stood on the frontal veranda fumbling in my pockets, I set up I did not have my keys. In fact, I could see them through the window, lying on the dining room table where I had left them. So I snappily ran around and tried all the other doors and windows, and they were locked tight. I allowed about calling a locksmith-- at least I had my cellphone, but at night, it could take a while for a locksmith to show up, and it was cold. I could not go back to my friend Jeff's house for the night because I had an early flight to Europe the coming morning, and I demanded to get my passport and my wallet. So, hopeless and nipping cold wave, I set up a large gemstone and I broke through the basement window, cleared out the shards of glass, I crawled through, I set up a piece of cardboard and taped it up over the opening, figuring that in the morning, on the way to the field, I could call my contractor and ask him to fix it. This was going to be precious, but presumably no more precious than a middle- of- the- night locksmith, so I figured, under the circumstances, I was coming out indeed. Now, I am a neuroscientist by training and I know a little bit about how the brain performs under stress. It releases cortisol that raises your heart rate, it modulates adrenaline situations and it clouds your thinking. So the coming morning, when I woke up on too little sleep, fussing about the hole in the window, and a internal note that I had to call my contractor, and the nipping temperatures, and the meetings I had forthcoming in Europe, and, you know, with all the cortisol in my brain, my thinking was cloudy, but I did not know it was cloudy because my thinking was cloudy. And it was not until I got to the field check- in counter, that I realized I did not have my passport. So I contended home in the snow and ice, 40 twinkles, got my passport, contended back to the field, I made it just in time, but they had given away my seat to someone differently, so I got stuck in the reverse of the aeroplane, coming to the bathrooms, in a seat that wouldn't slope, on an eight- hour flight. Well, I had a lot of time to suppose during those eight hours and no sleep. And I started wondering, are there effects that I can do, systems that I can put into place, that will help bad effects from passing? Or at least if bad effects be, will minimize the liability of it being a total catastrophe. So I started allowing about that, but my studies did not solidify until about a month latterly. I was having regale with my coworker, Danny Kahneman, the Nobel Prize winner, and I kindly embarrassedly told him about having broken my window, and, you know, forgotten my passport, and Danny participated with me that he would been rehearsing commodity called prospective hindsight. It's commodity that he'd gotten from the psychologist Gary Klein, who had written about it a many times before, also called thepre-mortem. Now, you all know what the posthumous is. Whenever there is a disaster, a platoon of experts come by and they try to figure out what went wrong, right? Well, in thepre-mortem, Danny explained, you look ahead and you try to figure out all the effects that could go awry, and also you try to figure out what you can do to help those effects from passing, or to minimize the damage. So what I want to talk to you about moment are some of the effects we can do in the form of apre-mortem. Some of them are egregious, some of them aren't so egregious. I will start with the egregious bones . Around the home, designate a place for effects that are fluently lost. Now, this sounds like common sense, and it is, but there is a lot of wisdom to back this up, grounded on the way our spatial memory workshop. There is a structure in the brain called the hippocampus, that evolved over knockouts of thousands of times, to keep track of the locales of important effects-- where the well is, where fish can be set up, that stage of fruit trees, where the friendly and adversary lines live. The hippocampus is the part of the brain that in London cab motorists becomes enlarged. It's the part of the brain that allows squirrels to find their nuts. And if you are wondering, notoriety actually did the trial where they cut off the olfactory sense of the squirrels, and they could still find their nuts. They were not using smell, they were using the hippocampus, this exquisitely evolved medium in the brain for chancing effects. But it's really good for effects that do not move around much, not so good for effects that move around. So this is why we lose auto keys and reading spectacles and passports. So in the home, designate a spot for your keys-- a hook by the door, perhaps a ornamental coliseum. For your passport, a particular hole. For your reading spectacles, a particulartable.However, your effects will always be there when you look for them, If you designate a spot and you are scrupulous about it. What about trip? Take a cell phone picture of your credit cards, your motorist's license, your passport, correspondence it to yourself so it's in thecloud.However, you can grease relief, If these effects are lost or stolen. Now these are some rather egregious effects. Flash back, when you are under stress, the brain releases cortisol. Cortisol is poisonous, and it causes cloudy thinking. So part of the practice of thepre-mortem is to fete that under stress you are not going to be at your stylish, and you should put systems in place. And there is maybe no more stressful a situation than when you are brazened with a medical decision to make. And at some point, all of us are going to be in that position, where we've to make a veritably important decision about the future of our medical care or that of a loved one, to help them with a decision. And so I want to talk about that. And I am going to talk about a veritably particular medical condition. But this stands as a deputy for all kinds of medical decision- timber, and indeed for fiscal decision- timber, and social decision- timber-- any kind of decision you have to make that would profit from a rational assessment of the data. So suppose you go to your croaker and the croaker says," I just got your lab work back, your cholesterol's a little high." Now, you all know that high cholesterol is associated with an increased threat of cardiovascular complaint, heart attack, stroke. And so you are allowing having high cholesterol is not the stylish thing, and so the croaker says," You know, I'd like to give you a medicine that will help you lower your cholesterol, a statin." And you've presumably heard of statins, you know that they are among the most extensively specified medicines in the world moment, you presumably indeed know people who take them. And so you are allowing," Yeah! Give me the statin." But there is a question you should ask at this point, a statistic you should ask for that most croakers do not like talking about, and pharmaceutical companies like talking about indeed lower. It's for the number demanded to treat. Now, what's this, the NNT? It's the number of people that need to take a medicine or suffer a surgery or any medical procedure before one person is helped. And you are allowing, what kind of crazy statistic is that? The number should be one. My croaker wouldn't define commodity to me if it's not going to help. But actually, medical practice does not work that way. And it's not the croaker 's fault, if it's anybody's fault, it's the fault of scientists like me. We have not figured out the underpinning mechanisms well enough. But GlaxoSmithKline estimates that 90 percent of the medicines work in only 30 to 50 percent of the people. So the number demanded to treat for the most extensively specified statin, what do you suppose it is? How numerous people have to take it before one person is helped? 300. This is according to exploration by exploration interpreters Jerome Groopman and Pamela Hartzband, singly verified byBloomberg.com. I ran through the figures myself. 300 people have to take the medicine for a time before one heart attack, stroke or other adverse event is averted. Now you are presumably allowing," Well, OK, one in 300 chance of lowering my cholesterol. Why not, croaker? Give me the tradition anyway." But you should ask at this point for another statistic, and that is," Tell me about the side goods." Right? So for this particular medicine, the side goods do in five percent of the cases. And they include terrible effects-- enervating muscle and joint pain, gastrointestinal torture-- but now you are allowing," Five percent, not veritably likely it's going to be to me, I will still take the medicine." But stay a nanosecond. Flash back under stress you are not allowing easily. So suppose about how you are going to work through this ahead of time, so you do not have to manufacture the chain of logic on the spot. 300 people take the medicine, right? One person's helped, five percent of those 300 have side goods, that is 15 people. You are 15 times more likely to be harmed by the medicine than you're to be helped by the medicine. Now, I am not saying whether you should take the statin or not. I am just saying you should have this discussion with your croaker . Medical ethics requires it, it's part of the principle of informed concurrence. You have the right to have access to this kind of information to begin the discussion about whether you want to take the pitfalls or not. Now you might be allowing I have pulled this number out of the air for shock value, but in fact it's rather typical, this number demanded to treat. For the most extensively performed surgery on men over the age of 50, junking of the prostate for cancer, the number demanded to treat is 49. That is right, 49 surgeries are done for every one person who is helped. And the side goods in that case do in 50 percent of the cases. They include incompetence, erectile dysfunction, urinary incontinence, rectal tearing, fecal incontinence. And if you are lucky, and you are one of the 50 percent who has these, they'll only last for a time or two. So the idea of thepre-mortem is to suppose ahead of time to the questions that you might be suitable to ask that will push the discussion forward. You do not want to have to manufacture all of this on the spot. And you also want to suppose about effects like quality of life. Because you have a choice hourly, do you I want a shorter life that is pain-free, or a longer life that might have a great deal of pain towards the end? These are effects to talk about and suppose about now, with your family and your loved ones You might change your mind in the heat of the moment, but at least you are rehearsed with this kind of thinking. Flash back, our brain under stress releases cortisol, and one of the effects that happens at that moment is a whole bunch on systems shut down.
By Asmae El assri11 months ago in Confessions
Why Do We Lie?
We humans often lie for a variety of complex reasons. Sometimes we lie in order to protect ourselves or others from potential trouble, to avoid conflict, due to habit that has formed over time, or to perceive some advantage in that moment. Lying rarely benefits relationships in the long run and corrodes trust.
By Asmae El assri11 months ago in Confessions
The great Mystery Behind Earth’s Most Epic Migration
The notion of Earth's greatest animal migrations usually brings to mind images of immense herds making their annual journey across the Serengeti or transcontinental flights filling the sky with orange hues. However, the most substantial mass migration on Earth occurs every night, and it's happening underwater. During World War II, Sonar detected dense signals emerging from the depths of the ocean, giving the impression that parts of the ocean floor were moving up and down by approximately 3,000 feet. In actuality, the sonar was detecting enormous clusters of tiny creatures known as zooplankton, ascending and descending from the depths to the surface each night. This phenomenon occurs in every ocean, every night, and has left scientists bewildered. The reason for these nearly microscopic plankton making such an incredible journey daily could potentially be linked to biological clocks and climate change. This is the story of Earth's greatest and most mysterious migration. Vertical migration in the ocean is the most extensive animal movement on our planet, an extraordinary fact. As a senior scientist at MBARI, the Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute, I use sound to study the lives of ocean animals. Firstly, one must comprehend how small zooplankton are. They are smaller than the tip of a crayon but travel vast distances in the ocean, especially for their size. If we were to scale the migrations to humans, it would be equivalent to running a 10K twice a day, once to get breakfast and once before bed, all while swimming twice the speed of an Olympic marathon runner. It's an impressive feat that occurs daily. If we tally up all the vertical migration occurring in all the oceans and lakes on earth, we estimate 10 billion tons of biomass, equivalent to 25 times the mass of all humans on earth, moving between the surface and the depths every night. This is known as diel vertical migration or DVM. But why do they go to such great lengths? Vertical migration is one of the most common behaviors observed in the ocean. It occurs with animals of all sizes, but the most abundant migrators, in terms of biomass, are small fish like bristlemouths and lantern fish following the vertical migrations of the zooplankton. This is a different way of thinking since we have always viewed plankton, all of them, as wanderers like the Greek word for plankton defines them. However, they are capable of making decisions.
By Asmae El assri11 months ago in Earth
why girls think that they are ugly
As a woman, I am tired of the narrow standards of beauty that are imposed on us. The media often portrays the ideal image for black girls as having light skin and long hair, which does not reflect the reality of many of us. Personally, I am brown-skinned, curvy, and have a flat butt. I remember hearing someone describe me in a negative way, focusing on the attributes I didn't have. However, this experience taught me an important lesson - to love myself for who I am and not to let someone else's opinion determine my value. That's why I started my own cosmetic company six years ago, with the aim of changing the way we think about beauty. I was frustrated that society only looked at attractiveness through a single lens, and I wanted to challenge that. When you search for "beauty" today, you'll see a sea of fair-skinned, thin, young women, as if good looks only come in one form. This narrow view of beauty makes us feel like we're not enough, and we start to think that we're lacking in some way. This lack of confidence can hold us back from pursuing our dreams and reaching our full potential. It also affects how we view others - if we don't feel good enough, we may project that insecurity onto our sisters, friends, and cousins. For too long, women have been told that our value is directly linked to our looks, our ability to get married, and our ability to have children. Even today, we still see this idea perpetuated in every industry - from Serena Williams dominating on the tennis court to Hillary Clinton running for President. We also see it in the way that little girls are discriminated against for their hairstyles. For example, a little girl in Louisiana wasn't allowed to attend school because of her braided hairstyle, which is a long-standing part of African and African-American beauty culture. This kind of discrimination is unacceptable - our hairstyle doesn't prevent us from learning or succeeding in any way. So, what is attractiveness? Shouldn't it be subjective? While it's true that what we find attractive is influenced by our environment, there is a dangerous trend towards a global standard of beauty that is rooted in Western ideals. This standard leaves many women feeling invalidated, unwanted, or too old to be beautiful. It also affects men - many are conditioned to find women who look like their mothers attractive, perpetuating a narrow view of beauty. It's time to challenge these narrow standards and embrace diversity in all its forms. At my cosmetic company, we celebrate diversity and aim to create products that work for everyone, regardless of skin tone or body type. We want to redefine what beauty means and empower women to love themselves for who they are. By doing so, we can create a world where everyone feels valued and appreciated, regardless of how they look.
By Asmae El assri11 months ago in Confessions
What happens if you catch the coronavirus
First, the virus has shown how interconnected the world is. It spread from China to the rest of the world in a matter of weeks due to global travel and trade. There are no borders when it comes to a virus. The pandemic has highlighted our dependence on each other and need for global cooperation now more than ever.
By Asmae El assri11 months ago in Education