I am watching you stake out the art thief
A Flash Fiction Story
Beside the mirror hangs The Penitent Magdalene painted by Jusepe De Ribera. If you knew about art—which you don’t—you’d wonder if that was true. Instead, your eyes are drawn to the corner of a dim sunset that makes up a small portion of the painting. Mary glows in the light of a miraculous sun.
Now, an older woman’s face bobs in the mirror. The mirror is long and extends through the hallway. With boring eyes, she stares at herself, her face sectioned off into different bags: the eyes, the cheekbones, the chin. The midday light is not very flattering, but what do you know about that sort of thing? She touches her prickly hair—salt and pepper—and groans. It isn’t quite her face, and soon, you will see her realize this.
Below the mirror is a table whereupon a pile of mail lies, addressed to a Mrs. Janet Hendrie. Her stance is unconsciously protective of the envelopes, and you don’t know why. As she breathes, her shadow mimics, but often misses, breaths. You realize it isn’t her abdomen. Not quite. She turns away, facing the painting, and her eyes widen as if seeing it for the first time.
However, this isn’t exactly true.
You cannot fully observe what happens next; a focused eye can only see one thing at a time, after all. But if you could, you’d notice how Mrs. Hendrie, upon glancing at Mary, grabs her chest in a similar manner and contorts herself to match the woman’s resigned, yet guarded, surprise. At the same time, you’d watch that small bit of sunset begin to morph as a peculiar kind of shadow begins to spread across the canvas. It fills the muted tones of Mary’s shawl, dress, the Bible she holds and the skull it rests on. Finally, the shadow moves up to swallow her ivory arms, shoulder, face.
If you knew about religious characters, you’d find that ironic. But you don’t.
Mrs. Hendrie, you realize, hasn’t changed her arm position or relaxed her head. Muscles twitch in protest. Her chin and nose have tensed with terror. Though reminiscent, it isn’t quite a pose. She is a mirror to the voided frame, just a minute out of sync. Resignedly, her eyes bore into the unseen, comprehending how her own breaths have become longer and shallower.
She’s catching up now.
Daylight dims in the hall. She reaches for her mail and clasps it like Mary had her Bible. If you knew anything about Janet Hendrie, you’d wonder what’s in those envelopes. You’d especially like to know why the third from the bottom contains a check from a private art collector and why she hasn’t opened it yet. You’d want to know why she’d barely looked at the painting since she hung it in the hall and why, in fact, she’d hung it in the hall at all.
But, being just the common thief that you are, you don’t know Janet Hendrie. So you pry the window open and step through.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Thank you for reading!
I wrote this story based on the accompanying painting. When searching for it, I discovered that it was only attributed to Jusepe De Ribera. I found it on an art auction website, and it's near impossible to find it anywhere else online. I had to do a Google image search to rediscover it. Here's the link:
And here is a short description on the background of the painting and artist:
The near-absence of "The Penitent Magdalene" from the internet seems to serve my twisted take on it, and I find that very fun. Perhaps there's something darker at work here after all...
About the Creator
Mackenzie Davis
“When you are describing a shape, or sound, or tint, don’t state the matter plainly, but put it in a hint. And learn to look at all things with a sort of mental squint.” Lewis Carroll
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Copyright Mackenzie Davis.
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Comments (12)
So, back for more ironmaidening with some critique - to answer your questions - I'm not sure. My understanding is that this painting essentially steals folk - like, almost catches you into a mirrored semblence and then keeps you, until the next victim. Thats my sense of whats going on. Length wise, yes, I could be longer and you could build it more, it would take that. THe language was beautiful, I must say.
(This comment contains an attempted interpretation.) ––– This story was confusing to me as well. That Mrs. Hendrie will realize “it isn’t quite her face”; that her shadow doesn’t exactly match her breathing; that the painting becomes a “voided frame”—these all suggest a possession or substitution between her and Mary. That Mrs. Hendrie is “tensed with terror” further suggests this possession or substitution is done to her, not by her (unless something has already happened earlier, which I also considered). “You’d wonder if that was true” seems to question the attribution to Ribera; this hints at the painting possibly not being of human origin, or not entirely anyway. On the other hand, your link calls Ribera a Tenebrist (= pronounced chiaroscuro; thanks Google), which would fit well with the spreading shadow. I like the possible reading that (in the world of this story) the painting was indeed created by the Tenebrist—but so well indeed that his hand was guided by shadowy forces: a collaboration with the supernatural. An art thief seems to be observing the events from behind a window, before entering. If Mary leaves the painting to possess Mrs. Hendrie, Mary does in her own way what the last words describe the art thief as doing: she “pries open” the window that is the painting, and “steps through” into Mrs. Hendrie’s world. The title of the story would then be playing/punning with another meaning for ‘art thief’: Mary is art become a thief of Mrs. Hendrie’s body (though this would stretch the words a bit, IMO). Indeed, since the voice identifies the “you” as a thief while the title (by contrast) distinguishes the pronoun and the noun, it can only be inferred that the thief in the title is not the thief of the story: the thief in the title is Mary. Why is attention drawn to Mrs. Henrie having hung the painting, and to her having seen the painting before (“as if seeing it for the first time. . . . this isn’t exactly true.”)? Perhaps the painting has already begun controlling her earlier, making her hang it on the wall, to later take possession of her? What I still find confusing: “It isn’t quite her face, and soon, you will see her realize this.” So, she has already been possessed before the actual possession? Or this is the first phase of the possession? Either answer would seem to be corroborated by the unfaithful shadow. As to the letters, is it that Mary wants to prevent the painting from being sold? Not sure. And what’s ironic about religious characters and shadows? Saints, angels etc. often have nimbuses and are associated with light; otherwise, not sure. ––– Anyway, I still don’t know if I feel like I’ve understood this story; I’m not sure if that is a good or a bad thing. But I much value puzzles and enigmas, and am a big fan of inscrutable art, so it would be hypocritical of me to complain about my difficulty in piecing this one together. I will also say that, overall, I liked this story more than the falling MC: this has a strong atmosphere of mystery, which is right up my alley (I was a glutton for horror stories as a teen); and it invites active engagement, as above. My main criticism would be that there are so many elements (shadows, letters, a mirror, two thieves, the 2nd person use) that it feels a bit too crowded—which also explains much of your readers’ confusion. Also, I kept wondering why the art thief outside, having seen all this, still steps in: isn’t the thief puzzled and apprehensive?
I think I'm a little confused. I like the 2nd person narrative and I feel like you're taking to the reader as the one looking through the window which would make Ms. Hendrix the art thief. Is that correct?
I love the style you use here, but I confess I'm not sure what's happening (which puts me in the shoes of the art thief) - with that said, I love the subtle, creepy edges you've woven in. Even though I don't really get the importance of the painting here, or how it connects to the story, I can see something is wrong in the situation, something that prompts unease. I've read this three or four times now, and I picked out a new detail each time; in this case, I think the issue is my own ignorance, not anything you've done in the writing of the story.
I loved this story! I really don't see what you would need to change. Your use of language, the flow and the ending are all perfect. I didn't think it was particularly scary but it had an ominous feel from beginning to end.
I enjoyed reading this, Mackenzie! Read it three times. I thought the choice of POV was excellent. The narrating voice seems to have a haughty disdain for the reader/thief, something that made me smile. It made me think of a snobbish rich person scolding an uncultured heathen. However, I didn’t quite understand everything going on here. I felt there was a depth to this story I just couldn’t grasp. I’m not sure if the reader is supposed to be the thief or if we are supposed to see the thief as a separate entity. I didn’t understand the irony you mentioned about the shadow swallowing Mary, even though I have a religious background. I didn’t know what you meant by, “She’s catching up now.” Am I right that Mrs Hendrie sort of stole Mary from the painting? The story didn’t scare me, but it did fascinate. I hope to read it again with a bit more context! Thanks for sharing and I hope I didn’t go over board with the critique
This was so completely captivating, becoming more & more unsettling with each detail shared as having gone unnoticed by us, the readers & common thieves, finishing in such a manner as to leave us wondering what we're getting ourselves into. No, it doesn't need to be any longer. The brevity & clipped descriptions actually add to the suspense. I'm not sure about the title. Are you saying that the woman is the art thief who is being staked out by the common thief? The suggestion seems to be that she is in her own home, picking up her own mail & that she already has a buyer. But there is also the strong indication that there is more to this woman &/or this painting than meets the eye. (Just as there is so much more to Mary Magdalene & the other Marys & other women in the scriptures than certain leaders in the church would like to admit or have us see. It takes an extremely insecure patriarchal system to conflate Mary Magdelene, from whom Jesus had cast out seven demons & who was a woman of means who supported Jesus & the disciples in their work, with Mary & Martha & the prostitute who washes Jesus' feet with her tears & dries them with her hair, etc.) The supernatural element is the "retsin" (vegetable oil) in Certs breath freshening mints. It is what causes the scene to linger with us & gain greater depth. I don't know that it makes the allegory any more clear but it most definitely opens up the reader (i.e., me) to greater possibilities & to ponder its meaning. And yes, it is unsettling, especially since the nature of it is undefined other than its being a shadowing. Is it malevolent or something else (e.g., Satan, that is, the Accuser, coming to accuse the penitent sinner before God & all who are gathered & is it for the purpose of gaining condemnation or for driving the sinner to repentance)? So much to consider. Explicating things further to make clear your intended meaning runs the risk of allowing the reader simply to read & be done with it. Where it stands right now, it becomes something that could drive conversations & discussions for generations.
This is so disturbing in all the right ways 🫣🫣🫣. It just creeped me out all around and I loved it 🤣😁
There is genius at play here! The story had me hooked in the first line and it somehow just got better and better. Also, I adore second person POV done right and this is just a prime example of how to do that!!
I love that twist at the end! This kept me reading the whole way through, trying to sort out the unspoken piece. Nicely done!
Oh there's definitely something darker at work here, lol! I mean why else would it be so difficult to find. And your story was freaking fantastic! I loved it so much!
I read it a while ago. Leaving a comment now:) It feels so retro (not the correct term, but I'm bad at giving names); it's like reading Poe, or Dreiser, or London (though again, maybe not the best comparison). Also, writing this story in the second person is such a right decision! But I'm sure you/re well aware of it:) I read somewhere that stories written in the second person make readers feel uncomfortable. Hell yeah, make them suffer! After all, all these readers read because they want to escape from their real-life problems. And here comes the story that says they're right in the epicenter of some turmoil. Hehe, so, your real life isn't that bad after all, is it?