Will she love again?

There she is, the kind hearted loving girl who loves like she has never been hurt. Is she still willing to find someone who will finally treat her right? To wear her heart on her sleeve again and put herself out there. Is she still willing to try at least, instead of pushing everyone away? I sit here and wonder what will she do next.

This girl always loves like if she has never been hurt before, patient, calm, and understanding. Always to see the good in people even when people were not so good to her. Always to be the one to defend her lovers name when he was not around, only to be made a fool at the end. She was that type of girl no matter what, until she wasn't anymore.

From the first time things started happening to her she was the one to look past it, because she thought they would change their ways for her. Because if she felt this way for them and knows right from wrong then they should know too right? Wrong, boy was she so wrong for thinking that way. She learned though the hard way, which seems is the only way people ever learn now a days. She learned from the lies time and time again, the tears that constantly flooded her pillow, to the cries in the shower she learned.

She learned that just because someone can look you dead in your eyes and tell you " I love you " doesn't mean shit. Because someone can love you, but if they don't respect you that " I love you " won't count for anything, because they will still do you dirty and hurt you. But when she said " I love you " it meant the world to her because she only saw them at the time and no one else. The energy and feelings was no reciprocated back to her unfortunately.

She learned that just because you date someone new and don't carry what someone from your past did that they deserve to be trusted right away. You see she was the kind to trust someone new, well because it's someone new right they aren't your ex and they won't do what they did. WRONG, she now has to keep her guard up because she used to be that way. Trust is something that should never be broken, once its broken it's hard to regain it. She loved to see the good in people, to only be disappointed in seeing them for who they really are.

She never understood why these people who told her that they loved her could possibly treat her the way she was treated. Why they could sit there and lie to her face and keep secrets. Why she was never good enough to just be the only one for them. Why they would throw away this wonderful individual who's love was so pure and genuine for someone who wasn't anything remotely like her. She was loyal, trustworthy, caring, loving, attentive anything someone could want in a person, until she wasn't.

All she ever wanted was the same love and energy to be reciprocated back to her. To make her feel like she is their one and only, to feel secure. All she ever wanted was time, loyalty, and respect, but it seems that was to much to ask for. She is not materialistic, doesn't ask for impossible things from someone, but it just seems like those small things she wanted was just impossible for someone to do for her. Well she learned from her past, she learned a lot and now she is changed. She learned she was never enough, she learned to become insecure, and to hate the people she loved. All of this and for what? I hope it was all worth hurting this girl who wanted nothing but to love and cherish you.

Now she is afraid to let people in, to let someone love her because she is afraid it's to good to be true. She won't even allow someone to take her out on a date. She'd rather keep to herself than to have someone be able to disappoint her, and show her anything less than what she is worth. One to many times was all it took to completely change her the way she views love. Is it even real anymore? It seems people are more interested in entertaining more than one person at a time, rather than keeping that one who was always there no matter what. I will never understand how people can do this, and have no remorse on who they inflict pain on.

The big question is do you see yourself loving again? Could you possibly trust someone again? Will you let yourself at least try? At the end of the day I know you deserve to let someone love you how you should of been loved in the first place. Love again, just be cautious. You deserve the world and more my dear, be patient the right one will come along and show you how worthy you really are.

I Love You