A Sorry Letter

Dear Me,

I wanted to sit for a bit and write this letter to you. To tell you how sorry I am for what I've put you through. To let you know it was not my intention to purposely put you through this pain over and over again. I just want you to hear me out, and if at the end of this letter you choose not to forgive me that is fine with me I will understand.

First and for most I do want to apologize for always being so naive when it came to trusting others. For trusting people who had shown me the first time around they cannot be trusted. For giving second chances, and wanting to give people the benefit of the doubt. I am sorry for putting you through that pain multiple times. What comes with being such a caring and loving person is that people will take your kindness for granted, and continue to do what they do no matter who the person is. I know I should have known better, but I still chose to listen to my heart and not my mind.

I am sorry for all the times I let you down, and chose to put others above you. That I put everyone else's feelings and emotions before yours, I should not have done that. I chose to put you aside as if you meant nothing to me, when at the end of the day you are everything to me. I should of prioritized you first then everyone else second. For my bad decisions I have made I caused you to forget who you are, and what you are worth. You have spiraled down a hole because of me, and for that I am so sorry. I am sorry I was such a people pleaser, and had no remorse on how it would affect you in the future.

I let others hurt you in a way no one should ever be hurt, I could have protected you from all of this first time around if only I had listened. I wonder how you would of been if I would of just listened. I am sorry it took me so long to finally start considering you first, and see the constant patterns that occurred over time. I should of seen the red flags, but I chose to ignore them and hurt you instead. I am sorry I was so selfish, I thought I was helping you in trying to keep people in your life I thought I was doing the right thing at the time, but I was so wrong for doing that.

I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am for everything, and how much I appreciate the person you've become today. How strong you've become because of all these lessons that have come your way. I admire how you carry yourself, and don't let these horrible outcomes affect you the way they used to. You are such a strong, beautiful, independent individual and I want you to keep being just that. Keep being that caring, loving person you are, but choose wisely who you give that to because not everyone will cherish that but only take advantage. Don't let anyone's actions or words change the person you are today, you have healed from so much and still continue to heal and find your peace for your own sanity. Continue being you, because at the end of the day your true family and friends will never break the way you view yourself the first time around. I am proud of you, and I always will be. I love you please take care of yourself from here on out, you got this.

PS. You bring light into every soul you touch don't forget that.

With love MJ