The old man and me

I was 23 years old, I had just graduated from university. I was looking for a suitable job. It was a hot summer day. It was around 10 o'clock in the morning, I left the house, bought a newspaper and went to sit in the square near the house to read the advertisement page. I checked all the seats, they were either occupied or right in the way of the burning sun. There were no trees above the benches to provide shade. I had to sit on a bench in the sun. A tall handsome old man was sitting on the bench next to me, which was completely in the shade, and he was reading a book.

I enjoyed reading the newspaper. A few minutes passed and the old man on the bench next to me said: Sir, sir. young man. I turned to him. He said, can you buy me a pack of Winston Light cigarettes from this shop? He put his hand in the front pocket of his shirt and took out money. I said to myself that in order not to lose his seat, he will tell me to go buy me a cigarette. Well, go buy it yourself. Wow, what kind of people can be found. Reluctantly, I took the money from him and tried to tell him with my look that he did not do a good job to have such a demand. I thought to myself again; Now take a few minutes in the sun, what will happen? I bought his cigarette and gave it to him. He thanked me and I just nodded and sat down. He lit his cigarette and smoked.

When he finished his cigarette, he called me again. This time, he said in a kinder tone, my son, can you take this cigarette of mine and put it out?

In most of the parks and green spaces where I live, there is a big public ashtray next to all the trash cans.

When he said this to me, I couldn't stand it anymore. I told him: man, put out a cigarette and put it out yourself, I am not your servant, don't be afraid, I will not sit on your side. Do you treat everyone like this or did you catch me?

The old man was shocked and stammered: "No, I am paralyzed." I can't stand. My son left me here to fix my wheelchair. It's coming now. I was dry. I could not understand what I did. Why did I treat him like this? The old man continued: I was not like that, I have been paralyzed for a year now. God, I'm tired. I am always a burden to others. I hate myself, I wish the earth would open its mouth and swallow me.

I had never experienced such a feeling until that age. I had just burned a person. I was getting sick of myself. I didn't know what to say. At that moment, I really wished I had never been born. I could only tell him that I am sorry, I did not know. He said: There is no problem. At the same time, his son followed him in a wheelchair. Very heartbroken, he said to his son, Hamed, take me home.

I was stuck in my place, I looked at her, her son was taking her to the car in her wheelchair. They got into the car and left. I never saw him again. Several years have passed since that incident, but I still carry the scar on my heart every day. From time to time I think that that old man is still alive? Has he ever been able to forgive me? He just didn't want to drop his cigarette butt on the floor.

by Mehdi Saeidi