The lifestyle of Introverts

I am an introvert and in my earlier years, I often felt that perhaps I should have tried to be more extroverted, that in order to fit in, I needed to be like everyone else. My discomfort around people made people either uncomfortable, facetious or puzzled. This then made me feel as if my natural way of being was not conducive to a successful or a fulfilling life—But the implication there is that being introverted is a problem that needs to be solved, which can sometimes be all too convincing in a world that seems to reward self-promotion over quiet reflection.

I have since then realized that the real difference between introverts and extroverts relates mostly to how they recharge. The people who gain energy from being alone happen to have a lot of really valuable and underappreciated traits which go a long way in relationships, work, and the general quality of one's life.

Mistaken assumptions about introverts

Many experts on the matter say introverts are often misunderstood as shy, apathetic, or lesser than extroverts. Some of the world’s most talented people are introverts. Here are some of the lessons that I have learned about being introverted:

They are comfortable alone

Learning to spend time with yourself and to actually enjoy your own company can do wonders for your mental clarity, self-awareness, and long-term happiness. It is so much easier now to keep oneself constantly distracted.

Do things on your own

Whether it’s a task at work or going to dinner, doing things on your own is the best way to establish a healthy sense of independence.

They are not fans of small talk

Introverts will tend not to engage in small talk. This can make them seem shy, but it's usually that they prefer only topics which interests them. Extroverts are obviously interesting too, but tend to keep things on the light, fun side.

They prefer deeper connections

Introverts tend to avoid large social events, they often prefer smaller gatherings and the development of more meaningful connections with others.

Take time to recharge

Introverts get energy by spending time alone instead of being with other people. While extroverts might be bored at first, they too can benefit greatly from unplugging from reality for a while.

They tend to listen more

Introverts talk a lot less than extroverts, which makes them better listeners. Listening tend to foster better relationships and teaches you more about the world.

How to listen better

Learning to listen without simply waiting for a point to interject with your own anecdote or idea is a more difficult skill than many think.

Get excited about canceled plans

When plans are canceled for an introvert, it’s an opportunity; as opposed to when an extrovert has plans canceled, this usually becomes a rush to make other plans.

Do research

Psychiatrist Taliba M. Foster describes introverts as 'deliberate people who often make thought-out and researched decisions as opposed to chatting with a fellow subway commuter for health advice'. When it comes to health especially, research is important.

Find inspiration and creativity within

As most introverts enjoy exploring their thoughts and feelings, they're often able to access a higher level of creativity, particularly when it comes to problem-solving, says Simon Rego, director of psychology at Montefiore Medical Center.

Focus without distractions

Since introverts enjoy being secluded for a while, they have an advantage when it comes to hitting tough deadlines that require extended isolation and focus to achieve.

Be curious

Introverts with rich inner worlds and a love of research tend to ask more questions and are usually more open to hearing answers that are different to what they expected.

Develop satisfying hobbies

These are the things you do for yourself, and often by yourself. Not only do they help you become more independent, but they also develop an interesting and different part of your life, which can ultimately give extroverts more to talk about in social situations.

Self-care routine

It is believed that extroverts tend to move quickly and can forget to set aside time to take care of themselves, so they can take a page from introverts who are quite good at listening to their bodies and spending Friday night doing some self-care. But as an introvert, I believe that both may fit into this spectrum, I am guilty of forgetting my self-care in favor of helping others first.

Avoid peripheral tie-ups

As introverts are less likely to get caught up in gossip, social angst, or personal problems at work, they’re often seen as more dependable and trustworthy professionals, says psychiatrist Taliba M. Foster. They tend to shy away from personal commitments, preferring privacy.

Be more sensitive

As extroverts tend to live more in the outside world, they may not pay as much attention to the inner worlds of others, missing feelings and social cues. We could all benefit from paying closer attention.

Think before you speak

Introverts almost always think before they speak. Extroverts tend to think as they speak.

Put the phone away

You already know that we’re addicted to our phones, but putting them away can be especially difficult for social extroverts. Introverts, on the other hand, tend to be more comfortable with going off the grid, which is key in being fully present.

Waste less time

While extroverts tend to talk about everything with a grandiose flair, psychiatrist Taliba M. Foster explains, introverts speak more concisely and deliver more information in fewer words, allowing them to reach resolutions quicker.

Be observant

From taking social cues to noticing certain things that can be of use later, being more observant can improve nearly every part of your life.

Embrace the healing power of nature

Sometimes spending time in nature can re-energize and revitalize in a more pronounced way than spending time in social situations can. Introverts tend to reap the most of this reward.

Take your time in social situations

As introverts aren’t likely to go up to strangers and strike up a conversation, they tend to take their time before making any moves. This usually means they understand the milieu better and avoid any potential social faux pas.

Understand people better and faster

Many extroverts may find that people turn out to not be who they’d expected, but most introverts take the time to decode people, observing, listening, and comparing them to past experiences, so they’re often less surprised.

No fear of missing out

Extroverts will often go out even if they’re tired to avoid what the kids call "FOMO," or the “fear of missing out.” Introverts tend not to have this fear and rather enjoy missing out, which erases unnecessary stress.

Self-reflection

This takes time and can take many forms, but it's one of the surest ways to grow as a person and get the most out of your experiences. This is the time where you can make goals and allow new parts of yourself to flourish.

Quiet reflection on outer life

Introverts have a much easier time slowing down and appreciating the little things, a process from which everyone with a fast-paced attention can benefit.

Don’t stress about making a mark on the world

The idea of making a mark externally instead of focusing on inward growth not only adds unnecessary pressure to your life, but it can be rooted in an unhealthy ego charged with competition, and it can lead to unnecessary disappointment.

Be self-reliant

It is easy to forget the abilities you have when surrounded by other people who take center stage. Introverts tend to find solutions themselves before asking others, so they’re more in tune with their ability, which offers a fantastic confidence.

Keep people's secrets

Not that all extroverts are tattles, but introverts are especially good at keeping the secrets of others, and therefore they’re often privy to more information.

Ambiverts

If you've heard friends note that you’re a typical introvert in some situations, while others would swear that you’re an extrovert, then you might actually be an ambivert! The ideas of introversion and extroversion first came from famed psychiatrist Carl Jung in the early 1900s. He believed some people were energized by the external world (extroverts) and others by the internal world (introverts). And because these personality types are considered to be on a spectrum, not everyone falls in the fully introvert or extrovert camp.

What does being an ambivert mean?

An ambivert is a person whose personality has a balance of extrovert and introvert features. According to studies, ambiverts engage in a pattern of talking and listening equally, since they share characteristics from both personality types. They are happy equally by themselves or in groups.

They can be by themselves for hours, then join a group for dinner later. As ambiverts straddle the line between introverted and extroverted tendencies, they find happiness in both situations.

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Excerpts from:

Stars Insider

Livestrong