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The lifestyle of Introverts

Extroverts v Introverts

By Novel AllenPublished 3 months ago 6 min read
Top Story - April 2024
The lifestyle of Introverts
Photo by Vladimir Fedotov on Unsplash

I am an introvert and in my earlier years, I often felt that perhaps I should have tried to be more extroverted, that in order to fit in, I needed to be like everyone else. My discomfort around people made people either uncomfortable, facetious or puzzled. This then made me feel as if my natural way of being was not conducive to a successful or a fulfilling life—But the implication there is that being introverted is a problem that needs to be solved, which can sometimes be all too convincing in a world that seems to reward self-promotion over quiet reflection.

I have since then realized that the real difference between introverts and extroverts relates mostly to how they recharge. The people who gain energy from being alone happen to have a lot of really valuable and underappreciated traits which go a long way in relationships, work, and the general quality of one's life.

Mistaken assumptions about introverts

Many experts on the matter say introverts are often misunderstood as shy, apathetic, or lesser than extroverts. Some of the world’s most talented people are introverts. Here are some of the lessons that I have learned about being introverted:

They are comfortable alone

Learning to spend time with yourself and to actually enjoy your own company can do wonders for your mental clarity, self-awareness, and long-term happiness. It is so much easier now to keep oneself constantly distracted.

Do things on your own

Whether it’s a task at work or going to dinner, doing things on your own is the best way to establish a healthy sense of independence.

They are not fans of small talk

Introverts will tend not to engage in small talk. This can make them seem shy, but it's usually that they prefer only topics which interests them. Extroverts are obviously interesting too, but tend to keep things on the light, fun side.

They prefer deeper connections

Introverts tend to avoid large social events, they often prefer smaller gatherings and the development of more meaningful connections with others.

Take time to recharge

Introverts get energy by spending time alone instead of being with other people. While extroverts might be bored at first, they too can benefit greatly from unplugging from reality for a while.

They tend to listen more

Introverts talk a lot less than extroverts, which makes them better listeners. Listening tend to foster better relationships and teaches you more about the world.

How to listen better

Learning to listen without simply waiting for a point to interject with your own anecdote or idea is a more difficult skill than many think.

Get excited about canceled plans

When plans are canceled for an introvert, it’s an opportunity; as opposed to when an extrovert has plans canceled, this usually becomes a rush to make other plans.

Do research

Psychiatrist Taliba M. Foster describes introverts as 'deliberate people who often make thought-out and researched decisions as opposed to chatting with a fellow subway commuter for health advice'. When it comes to health especially, research is important.

Find inspiration and creativity within

As most introverts enjoy exploring their thoughts and feelings, they're often able to access a higher level of creativity, particularly when it comes to problem-solving, says Simon Rego, director of psychology at Montefiore Medical Center.

Focus without distractions

Since introverts enjoy being secluded for a while, they have an advantage when it comes to hitting tough deadlines that require extended isolation and focus to achieve.

Be curious

Introverts with rich inner worlds and a love of research tend to ask more questions and are usually more open to hearing answers that are different to what they expected.

Develop satisfying hobbies

These are the things you do for yourself, and often by yourself. Not only do they help you become more independent, but they also develop an interesting and different part of your life, which can ultimately give extroverts more to talk about in social situations.

Self-care routine

It is believed that extroverts tend to move quickly and can forget to set aside time to take care of themselves, so they can take a page from introverts who are quite good at listening to their bodies and spending Friday night doing some self-care. But as an introvert, I believe that both may fit into this spectrum, I am guilty of forgetting my self-care in favor of helping others first.

Avoid peripheral tie-ups

As introverts are less likely to get caught up in gossip, social angst, or personal problems at work, they’re often seen as more dependable and trustworthy professionals, says psychiatrist Taliba M. Foster. They tend to shy away from personal commitments, preferring privacy.

Be more sensitive

As extroverts tend to live more in the outside world, they may not pay as much attention to the inner worlds of others, missing feelings and social cues. We could all benefit from paying closer attention.

Think before you speak

Introverts almost always think before they speak. Extroverts tend to think as they speak.

Put the phone away

You already know that we’re addicted to our phones, but putting them away can be especially difficult for social extroverts. Introverts, on the other hand, tend to be more comfortable with going off the grid, which is key in being fully present.

Waste less time

While extroverts tend to talk about everything with a grandiose flair, psychiatrist Taliba M. Foster explains, introverts speak more concisely and deliver more information in fewer words, allowing them to reach resolutions quicker.

Be observant

From taking social cues to noticing certain things that can be of use later, being more observant can improve nearly every part of your life.

Embrace the healing power of nature

Sometimes spending time in nature can re-energize and revitalize in a more pronounced way than spending time in social situations can. Introverts tend to reap the most of this reward.

Take your time in social situations

As introverts aren’t likely to go up to strangers and strike up a conversation, they tend to take their time before making any moves. This usually means they understand the milieu better and avoid any potential social faux pas.

Understand people better and faster

Many extroverts may find that people turn out to not be who they’d expected, but most introverts take the time to decode people, observing, listening, and comparing them to past experiences, so they’re often less surprised.

No fear of missing out

Extroverts will often go out even if they’re tired to avoid what the kids call "FOMO," or the “fear of missing out.” Introverts tend not to have this fear and rather enjoy missing out, which erases unnecessary stress.


This takes time and can take many forms, but it's one of the surest ways to grow as a person and get the most out of your experiences. This is the time where you can make goals and allow new parts of yourself to flourish.

Quiet reflection on outer life

Introverts have a much easier time slowing down and appreciating the little things, a process from which everyone with a fast-paced attention can benefit.

Don’t stress about making a mark on the world

The idea of making a mark externally instead of focusing on inward growth not only adds unnecessary pressure to your life, but it can be rooted in an unhealthy ego charged with competition, and it can lead to unnecessary disappointment.

Be self-reliant

It is easy to forget the abilities you have when surrounded by other people who take center stage. Introverts tend to find solutions themselves before asking others, so they’re more in tune with their ability, which offers a fantastic confidence.

Keep people's secrets

Not that all extroverts are tattles, but introverts are especially good at keeping the secrets of others, and therefore they’re often privy to more information.



If you've heard friends note that you’re a typical introvert in some situations, while others would swear that you’re an extrovert, then you might actually be an ambivert! The ideas of introversion and extroversion first came from famed psychiatrist Carl Jung in the early 1900s. He believed some people were energized by the external world (extroverts) and others by the internal world (introverts). And because these personality types are considered to be on a spectrum, not everyone falls in the fully introvert or extrovert camp.

What does being an ambivert mean?

An ambivert is a person whose personality has a balance of extrovert and introvert features. According to studies, ambiverts engage in a pattern of talking and listening equally, since they share characteristics from both personality types. They are happy equally by themselves or in groups.

They can be by themselves for hours, then join a group for dinner later. As ambiverts straddle the line between introverted and extroverted tendencies, they find happiness in both situations.


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About the Creator

Novel Allen

Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky. ~~ Rabindranath Tagore~~

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Comments (31)

  • Flamance @ lit.2 months ago

    The story is dope I like it

  • Bozhan Bozhkov2 months ago

    I used to think I was an introvert, but after reading your article, I've changed my mind. Now I believe I might fall somewhere between introverts and ambiverts as I feel comfortable in small groups of friends.

  • Hannah Moore2 months ago

    I was just thinking "perhaps I'm not as introverted as all that..." Ambivert eh.

  • JBaz2 months ago

    Back to say Congratulation Excellent piece

  • Cyrus Emerson2 months ago

    Enjoyed the passage about the healing power of nature. A nice day can change the way you feel for sure.

  • Catherine Nyomenda3 months ago

    I'm back to say congratulations Allen. You deserve even more!

  • Rosie Clifford3 months ago

    I will let the World know about Dr, Jumba. Do you have problems in your relationship ? Has your partner broken up with you and you still love and want him back ? Do you have problems with your finances ? or do you need help of any kind then contact Dr, Jumba today for i give you 100% guarantee that he will help you just as he helped me. wiccalovespelltools @ gmail. com

  • Shirley Belk3 months ago

    Nice one from one intro to another :) Congratulations!

  • Mark Gagnon3 months ago

    Congrats on your Top Story! I'm more of whatever is in between introvert and extrovert. I tend to analyze situations and people before speaking but I'm not afraid to speak my mind.

  • The Dani Writer3 months ago

    An excellent article and topic to address! My journey has been an interesting one, as I consider myself a "highly-functional introvert" with some added kick due to my experiences post-translocation to a foreign country. Congratulations to you for having this one featured as a Top Story!

  • Alexander McEvoy3 months ago

    Introversion is a strange thing. Like there are days when I want nothing more than to be alone, just me being quiet with my videogames or books. But then there are others when I just cannot sit still and need to be around people. And yet when I am, my battery drains quickly. At this point in my life, I don't understand how I ever made it through school back in the day, being around so many people all day every day, and talking to them. Wild stuff.

  • Ameer Bibi3 months ago

    Great article I really agree with your story

  • Daphsam3 months ago

    Great article! I am an introvert and love it!

  • ROCK 3 months ago

    Very interesting. I remember taking the Myers-Briggs personality test in human psych. in college. My first test pegged me as an EFTJ, which felt off as my extroverta at that time was really due to the fact that I was forced into being engaged with humans all day, every day. Later in life I took it and I was an E/INFP. I like people but those who know me very well know I need to be alone as an artist, writer and to keep from saying something horrible I'll regret. I feel daringly extroverted on The Vocal but I am in the comfy confines of home, in the woods with rabbits and the occasional human. I appreciated reading your article!

  • ema3 months ago

    Beautiful and interesting article Novel ! For years I thought I was introverted because a teacher at school told me so, who knows if she influenced me! Because I have difficulty making friends with new people, but after a while I have no difficulty with people I know and with friends and I like being in groups and going out. It is true that sometimes I like to be alone, maybe I'm ambiverted. Furthermore, I discovered that many people who seem socially extroverted because they talk a lot and are the center of attention, laughing and joking, are actually very reserved because they never talk about themselves, it is as if they learned to be extroverted to defend themselves and never have to talk about themselves.

  • Grz Colm3 months ago

    It’s funny how people’s extraverted sides often come out on vocal through their writing or communication with others ..but it’s likely most are quite introverted to be interested in these type of things, fiction, poetry, online communities etc. don’t you think? I’d always thought of you as a bit of both so maybe you are a bit ambivert? I don’t know…. For a time in my life I think I was ambivert …obviously I am much more introverted now (but I believe unhealthily so) so I can only personally agree with 85 percent of your points in this article. Yet working to improve. ☺️ I wish I could be more extraverted again…as well as introverted. I think I needed to be in the past for work etc… I wonder if I, or others that are somewhere in between, can find balance so as they are more healthy productive and fulfilled. So great to see you on the main page today too Novel. Congrats. ☺️👍🎉 Loved your article lots. Hope you are going well & let’s get our extraverion on for a couple of hours a day to par-tae! 🥳 🎉😁 - see u at midnight! 🕛 😉

  • Belle3 months ago

    Congratulations on Top Story! This is wonderfully written, and really captures what it means to be introverted... I'm sure so many of us can relate!

  • Babs Iverson3 months ago

    Wonderful article & congratulations on Top Story!!!💕❤️❤️

  • Justine Crowley3 months ago

    Same here, an INTJ on Myers Briggs. Well deserved top story Novel 👏🏻🙂

  • Esala Gunathilake3 months ago

    Congrats on the top story!

  • Andrea Corwin 3 months ago

    oops, forgot to say Congrats on TS.👏

  • Andrea Corwin 3 months ago

    YEAH! I am an introvert, and I heard a psychologist on TV say, "introvert patients did fine during the pandemic." I can be extroverted in social scenes of interest and with close friends. This is a nice, informative article with lots of information. Great job.

  • Ina Zeneli3 months ago

    Loved reading every single word!

  • Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊

  • This is what describes me.

Novel AllenWritten by Novel Allen

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