Japanese courting customs

I recently wrote a poem for Babs Iverson's "Ask me in December" unofficial challenge. This led me to hastily research a bit on Japanese courting practices, fearing that I might have somehow misrepresented the customs of these wonderful people.

Which then led me to reading and understanding this practice.

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Japanese courting is a complex and intricate process that has evolved over centuries. Here is an exploration into the traditional and modern approaches to courting in Japan:

Traditional Approach to Japanese Courting:

Nakodo (仲人): Traditionally, courting in Japan involved a process called nakodo, where an intermediary (often a family member or close friend) introduced two potential partners to each other. The nakodo helped them get to know each other better.

Letters and Gifts: Exchanging letters or gifts was a common way to express feelings during this process.

Meetings: Traditional Japanese courting also included meetings such as tea ceremonies or dinners, where both parties could interact and learn about each other.

Modern Approaches to Dating in Japan:

While some people still prefer the traditional approach, many now opt for more casual methods:

Online Dating: People use online dating sites or apps like Tinder to meet potential partners.

Group Dates: Young people often prefer group dates rather than individual dates.

Japanese Culture of Dating:

Respect and Politeness...

Japanese dating culture emphasizes respect and politeness. Even during intimate moments, being polite is crucial.

Expressing Feelings: Japanese individuals may take longer to express their feelings due to cultural differences. Don’t assume lack of interest if they don’t show signs right away.

Tips for Successful Dating in Japan:

Politeness...Always be polite and respectful.

Genuine Interest...Show genuine interest in getting to know your partner.

Take It Slow...Be patient; physical intimacy develops gradually.

Remember that Japanese courting is rooted in respect and cultural nuances, making it a unique experience! 🌸

How has modernization affected traditional courting practices?

Modernization has significantly impacted traditional courting practices in Japan, leading to a shift from arranged marriages to more Westernized forms of dating and marriage. Here are some key changes:

Shift from Arranged to Love-Based Marriages...

Miai (arranged marriages) were predominant during the early stages of modernization, but the trend has shifted towards ren-ai (love-based marriages).

Delayed Marriages and Lifetime Singlehood:

There’s a nationwide phenomenon of delayed marriages, and an increasing number of Japanese men and women remaining single their entire lives.

Cohabitation and Nonmarital Relationships:

While cohabitation and nonmarital relationships are increasing, many couples still resolve their unions through traditional marriage upon having children.

Kon-katsu Services:

To address difficulties in finding ideal marriage partners, various kon-katsu services (mate-seeking activities) have been established by local municipal offices and commercial matchmaking agencies.

Influence of Western Practices:

The Meiji era introduced yoriai-kon, a courtship and marriage form where both partners were regarded as equal individuals with equal rights, reflecting Western influence.

Cultural Dualism:

Despite modern influences, traditional family culture remains deeply ingrained in the minds of young people, sustaining a dual structure in society and culture.

Modernization has brought about a blend of Western and traditional elements in Japanese courting practices, with a greater emphasis on individual choice and love-based relationships, while still retaining some traditional aspects.

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Ah, the influences of Western practices on the entire world.

Although the moral values may come into question when viewed from the traditional to the modern, I believe change is a good thing. Maybe not all the changes which are reflected in Western lifestyle should be embraced by other cultures. There is such a thing as over empathizing with the freedom of information and behavior of the West.

They leave nothing to the imagination. Sadly!!!!!

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Some information acquired with the assistance of Bing AI.