I'm Tired of People Telling Me I Need to Get a Real Job- Yes Mom This One Is For You

The day I told my parents I was changing my major from Biology to Undeclared - they understood. I was in my second year of college and I was unhappy with the direction my classes were taking and I didn't see a career path that I was going to be happy with at the end of my education.

They understood when I told them I was going to take an exploratory semester to try different classes to see if there was a path that would bring fulfillment to my life - they didn't bat an eye at Acting 101, Psychology 112, or even Creative Writing 100 that followed my core classes.

They understood when after that semester when I declared a new major: English with a minor in Creative Writing - they thought it would lead me to teaching.

They didn't understand however when I withdrew from school, for many reasons, some too personal to list here, only to continue my education a few years later - with a degree in Creative Writing with a concentration in Fiction.

I have never felt more fulfilled with even the thought of following any other career path - my job allows me the ability to live, eat, and buy an obscene amount of Halloween decorations - my parents have asked me when I am going to settle into a nice career and start living in the real world. 

Definition of Success In Writing 

While some define what it means to be successful as a writer in many ways I describe it as the ability to pay my bills and keep food on the table with the income I get from writing. 

Sure it would be wonderful to define success as having a best-selling book with thousands of five-star reviews and a movie deal just waiting in my inbox, but that's a goal above success, not so much a dream, but merely something I will work toward, but won't be how I define my success off of.

My parents however define success as the ability to have something they can brag to their friends about and telling these friends their daughter is a writer while they have no - family appropriate -  book in their hands to show off… somehow tells them that I am not successful in my writing. 

Dealing With Pressure 

I wish this was something limited to my parents but unfortunately, it is common in the writing community with parents, friends, and even spouses worried for the writers in their lives when they aren't walking the aisles of their local large booksellers signing away on the inside of their books until their hands are about to fall off.

It can be hard for us to be happy with the small victories we make when those on the outside either know we are capable of better and are waiting to see it or they know the harsh realities of the writing world and are ready to pick us up when we flop.

On the day that I am writing this article, I have just received my first subscriber on Twitch. I was in such disbelief and the first thing I did was tell my partner (who technically was my first true subscriber) and then my parents - however the conversation went a bit like this:

parents: someone gave you money because they like to watch you write? 

me:no they did it to support me and watch me write I guess - well they used a prime sub so techinally they didn't give me money but -

parents:but you made money from it?

me:Yes! $2.36 

parents: They just opened a Burligton Coat Factory down the street -  

Did I expect my parents to jump for joy at the news? Of course not, but I had hoped to share with them an accomplishment, no matter how small, and have been met with something other than telling me about new job opportunities. 

Writing is one of those things where the way success is measured can differ from person to person. My definition of success may be different than yours, but the only thing that matters is regardless of how anyone, parents included, defines success, as long as you are meeting your definition of it then you need to just keep at it. 

You are the first person who matters when it comes to defining your goals and success so as long as you are happy with the outcome or you are working towards better, don't take to heart any negative comments. 

You are doing amazing. 

With love and support, 

B.K. xo xo

Want to write with me live? I'm now on Twitch! Come join me in some writing sprints most days at 10:30 pm EST

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