I Have No Idea What I'm Doing
Seriously, I really don't...
After seeing an extreme subscriber increase and an overall increase of visibility on this website, I want to make something very clear: I have no idea what I'm doing.
What exactly do I mean by that? I'm just making it up as I go. Any time I post something on here, I don't really put too much thought into hoping it's going to do numbers, get Top Story, etc. In fact, I make it a point to not think about those things at all.
I'm trying really hard to just write. I spent way too many years worrying about writing things that are perfect. And if they weren't perfect, no way I was sharing them with anyone. Of course, because nothing was ever going to be perfect, I never even dreamed of putting my writing out there.
I got this advice forever ago when I was a teenager, but I didn't take it to heart until recently: let yourself write something bad.
At the time, I hated that advice. Mostly because I absolutely despised the revision process. Why can't I just get it out perfectly the first time so I don't have to go back and fix it? I'm sure you can guess what happened. I barely wrote anything. If I actually had a story I was working on, I wrote maybe a sentence or two every few days.
When I was a junior in high school, my creative writing teacher challenged me to write a novel. She gave me the entire school year to do so. And I only wrote 7,000 words. Folks... Novels are at the very least 50,000 words. Needless to say, my teacher was disappointed and rightfully a bit confused as to how I wrote so little. But like I said, I wanted it to be perfect on the first try. I remember so many days in that class where I either just stared at my notebook or doodled in the margins. At the time, I wasn't very apologetic about not meeting her expectations. Did she really expect a 16-year-old to write a novel?
Don't worry, I realize now those weren't very high expectations. She gave me very little actual assignments in the class so I would have ample time to just write. She even let me listen to music so I could focus while she taught the rest of the class. I can't believe I had so much leniency and took it for granted - just sitting there listening to Mumford & Sons, doodling, and writing only a single sentence. My teacher's disappointment was extremely valid.
It wasn't until a few years ago that I remembered the advice to write badly. I was trying to get back into writing for fun. So when I had an idea I was actually excited about and had a decent outline for, I went for it. I just started writing, not caring about finding the perfect phrasing or the most memorable dialogue. And I had a blast.
Sitting there and scribbling away in my notebook, I forgot how much fun writing could be. After completing a full scene, I sat back and looked at my work. I felt good. I'm sure all of us writers can relate to that euphoria after a solid writing session. I honestly think that feeling is the best drug there is. But even though I felt great about having finally put pen to paper, I still thought the scene was bad.
So what do we do when we have a piece we think is Not Good? We get feedback! A bit scary but extremely necessary. I shared my piece and to my utter shock, people liked it. Of course, they also gave some constructive criticism about some minor tweaks I could make, but no one thought it was Bad the way I thought it was.
Where am I going with this? Like I said, I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to writing. I remind myself of that with my ideas notebook in the picture above (sidenote: I got it from Etsy here). There is no magic step-by-step process for you to follow to the T that will give you the results you want every time. The only thing we can all do is write and write stories that are bad.
But I'll let you in on a secret: your stories probably aren't bad...
About the Creator
Alivia Varvel
time is the most precious commodity
https://www.aliviavarvel.com/
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Comments (32)
title had me hooked, content was really interesting!! being a writer is pretty strange, i agree. i've had a string of English teachers (i never took creative writing) who had high standards and wanted a lot from me. really nicely done piece, very raw and interesting.
I wish I would have taken this advice sooner as well!! I always put so much pressure on myself and then end up just scrapping everything completely and at that point its not fun anymore! great piece :)
I read this like right after you published it, and I never commented! I don't always have a lot of time, but here I am, finally! First, congrats on TS; more people needed to read this. It's SO motivational, and I love that you thought to write about this feeling. I'm very similar; I like to write my stuff perfectly the first time, and use revisions to polish. But often I start over or rewrite entire sections, or scrap the whole thing. Over time, I've realized just how pompous and useless it is to assume that anyone could write something without mistakes and that's the best version of itself on the first go. It's just not possible! And I swear I've lost brain cells, as I frequently forget to double check areas I'm convinced are done, but end up having mistakes. I have no idea what I'm doing too, so it's good to know I'm not alone. :D
Love this!
Welcome, Your poem "Joshua" is full of childhood memories, really wonderful
Great writing!
This was so inspiring and validating to read. Thank you for sharing!
Excellent advice, very glad this got Top Story 👍
Thanks for the reminder. I need to "just write" as well and not try to be perfect the first time out. Thanks for sharing.
Love it! And you’re doing it exactly right! Just focus on writing and don’t worry about top story or how good it turns out or the perfection. And look, you wrote something insightful, you got too story, and I couldn’t agree more with all of this. Really enjoyed this and definitely has some inspiration to it.
Good advice. And some Mumford and Sons is musical gold. 🎶
This was a nice read and really motivating.
I like this! Nice job! And nothing will ever be perfect.
I love this! Great work! And yes your story definitely is NOT bad!
I like what you have to say here!!! My saying: Perfectionism is the death to all things beautiful and perfect.
Extremely relatable! I probably would have done the same had my high school English teacher challenged me to write a novel. Took me forever to write for the sheer joy of it, instead of trying to be perfect. Your work is really good and I’m happy I get the chance to read it :)
Oooof this is relatable!! Great advice here ❤️
But yet here you are, just a day later, Congratulations on top story! 🤍
Oh my word, I hate revision! And yet...how freeing, to count on it!
I love this so much. Especially this, "nothing was ever going to be perfect." This encapsulates everyone's first time trying to write a novel. Hell, even my history papers when I first switched majors took forever because of my perfectionist nature. That's why now when I write a poem, I just shotgun it out into the ether. Do I catch errors later? Yep. Do I fix them? I do. Do I hope the reader knew what I meant? Absolutely. Do I dwell on it? Not like I used to. Learning to write for the joy of it, and then going back to edit later is all about the process.
Excellent work
Congrats on the top story!
Relatable to the extreme. I like to remind myself that nobody has any idea what they are doing. It makes the moments when I feel like I know what I'm doing all the more vexing and worrying haha.
The first paragraph made me laugh a little 😂... you don't have to justify yourself there, I'm sure people are subscribing because they resonate with you 👍🏽. I like the message here, and it's so true. Just get the idea out, and you can refine it more if you need to. For me it's always the first step that's the most annoying. You get an idea but the writing process just feels so draining and end up just not starting at all
I used to get so little writing done because I wanted it to be perfect. My therapist told me that it doesn't have to be that way. So I just wrote a bad draft. Then I went back to edit it daily until I felt it was okay. So yes, what you said is cery true!