Don't Buy My Book

What I affectionately term, "booky bollocks"

By L.C. SchäferPublished 3 years ago • Updated 3 years ago • 3 min read

My book-baby

A few people have asked about my book-baby, but I've generally been cagey on the details. This is partly because I don't want to spam you lovely lot. Can you imagine if every other post on here was just more LOOK I RELEASED MY BOOK, LOOK AT THE COVER OF MY BOOK, PLEASE BUY MY BOOK... It would be like Twitter, and none of us want that.

The other reason is because some of the content is available here on Vocal for free. My winning piece from last year is in there, as well as this one and this one (which is my favourite). If you've been reading my shi- stuff on here for a while now, you've most likely already read some of the stuff in the book. This seems to make it a bit of an unbargain, as far as I'm concerned. There is a sort of free option, which I'll explain below, so keep reading for that.

REVIEWS REVIEWS REVIEWS!

All that said, like many self-respecting authors, I would kill my actual granny* for a review.

If you've read the pieces listed and feel able to whizz over there and do me a review, I will be eternally grateful. I will link those pieces at the bottom as well, for ease of reference.

Review swap and chill?

If you, too, have pushed a book-baby out into the world (those corners, amirite?) I would be more than happy to do a review swap with you! Leave a comment, light the beacons, fatten the carrier pigeon, or connect with me off Vocal (see below). Let's arrange this thing, and while we are at it, unite our noble houses by promising that our offspring shall one day be joined in holy wossname, et cetera.

Get Your Copy For Nuthin' And Your Clicks For Free

If you're a regular Vocal user and a long time subscriber of mine, my best recommendation is not to buy my book.

I am all about writers getting fairly compensated and all that, but I don't think it'd be good value for you.

If you have Kindle Unlimited, it's available there at the moment, gratis, and that's the option I recommend. The nice thing about Kindle Unlimited is that the writer (me) gets paid per page read.

Buying it anyway, because you're a rebel

If you want your own copy, then I am just tickled pink about that. I am humbled and grateful for your support.

Scribbling

(I can dogear them for you as well if you want, ya mad b*****d - no extra charge.)

I've had a few people ask me to deface copies for them, which feels intensely wrong to me and makes me feel like a bit of a twat if I'm honest. But if that's what you want, I'm all over it like white on rice. You'll need to connect with me privately to sort it out.

Finding me off Vocal

If you would like to get in touch, all you have to do is leave a trail of Terry's chocolate oranges for me to follow.

I jest, of course. I don't like them that much, but I do like hummus. Hard to leave a trail of hummus though, isn't it?

You can link up with me

But please don't use Twitter/X because it's a big heap of shit. Alternately, for cavemen, there's an email address.

Thank you

Thank you, as always, for your continued support. If you get a copy, thank you twice. If you leave a review, thank you a million times! Seriously. I cannot thank you enough.

* or someone's granny, at any rate