Don't Buy My Book
What I affectionately term, "booky bollocks"
My book-baby
A few people have asked about my book-baby, but I've generally been cagey on the details. This is partly because I don't want to spam you lovely lot. Can you imagine if every other post on here was just more LOOK I RELEASED MY BOOK, LOOK AT THE COVER OF MY BOOK, PLEASE BUY MY BOOK... It would be like Twitter, and none of us want that.
The other reason is because some of the content is available here on Vocal for free. My winning piece from last year is in there, as well as this one and this one (which is my favourite). If you've been reading my shi- stuff on here for a while now, you've most likely already read some of the stuff in the book. This seems to make it a bit of an unbargain, as far as I'm concerned. There is a sort of free option, which I'll explain below, so keep reading for that.
REVIEWS REVIEWS REVIEWS!
All that said, like many self-respecting authors, I would kill my actual granny* for a review.
If you've read the pieces listed and feel able to whizz over there and do me a review, I will be eternally grateful. I will link those pieces at the bottom as well, for ease of reference.
Review swap and chill?
If you, too, have pushed a book-baby out into the world (those corners, amirite?) I would be more than happy to do a review swap with you! Leave a comment, light the beacons, fatten the carrier pigeon, or connect with me off Vocal (see below). Let's arrange this thing, and while we are at it, unite our noble houses by promising that our offspring shall one day be joined in holy wossname, et cetera.
Get Your Copy For Nuthin' And Your Clicks For Free
If you're a regular Vocal user and a long time subscriber of mine, my best recommendation is not to buy my book.
I am all about writers getting fairly compensated and all that, but I don't think it'd be good value for you.
If you have Kindle Unlimited, it's available there at the moment, gratis, and that's the option I recommend. The nice thing about Kindle Unlimited is that the writer (me) gets paid per page read.
Buying it anyway, because you're a rebel
If you want your own copy, then I am just tickled pink about that. I am humbled and grateful for your support.
Scribbling
(I can dogear them for you as well if you want, ya mad b*****d - no extra charge.)
I've had a few people ask me to deface copies for them, which feels intensely wrong to me and makes me feel like a bit of a twat if I'm honest. But if that's what you want, I'm all over it like white on rice. You'll need to connect with me privately to sort it out.
Finding me off Vocal
If you would like to get in touch, all you have to do is leave a trail of Terry's chocolate oranges for me to follow.
I jest, of course. I don't like them that much, but I do like hummus. Hard to leave a trail of hummus though, isn't it?
You can link up with me
- on my Facebook page
- my personal Facebook page, or
- my Instagram account
But please don't use Twitter/X because it's a big heap of shit. Alternately, for cavemen, there's an email address.
Thank you
Thank you, as always, for your continued support. If you get a copy, thank you twice. If you leave a review, thank you a million times! Seriously. I cannot thank you enough.
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* or someone's granny, at any rate
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About the Creator
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More stories from L.C. Schäfer and writers in Writers and other communities.
Hero
The word "hero" evokes images of grand gestures, capes billowing in the wind, and battles won against impossible odds. But heroism can manifest in countless ways, defying stereotypes and residing in the most unexpected corners. Here are a few ways to explore the concept of a hero in a story:
By Moharif Yulianto5 days ago in Writers
Comments (14)
Very clever. Great read and at your suggestion, I promise not to buy your book. (I will try and read your Vocal stories when I can).
Congratulations, L.C.! Now I have it, too. Yes, I've read many of the stories already but I'll enjoy reading them again, I'm sure. And I look forward to reading the rest as well.
Well done for the self-promotion! Its hard!
A collection of short stories though is a great type of book.
Cavemen 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Anyway, congratulations on pushing your book baby out into the world!
Just bought it on kindle. I actually love short stories so this is great.
2 Reactions to Don't Buy My Book: "Don't tell me what to do! I bought it 5 minutes before you posted this!" "Oh... I guess I'll respect your wishes then... but why?" Marketing well done!
“Don’t buy my book” you can’t tell me what to do -.- This was really funny and perfectly displayed your playful nature! I promise not to buy your book, no no, don’t pay attention to my crossed fingers. I’m telling the truth honest. You can trust me, I’m a random dude on the internet. Nothing more trustworthy than that, eh? That joke about the corners on a book baby was hilarious by the way!
Too late. I have mine, and it was worth every penny. I may have to get in touch about having you dog-ear it further!
Damn...I could have saved bucks. whatever buckss fucking are. Anyway, I have it as you know and have not yet finished it but will review it to fuck when I'm done. and will Amazon review it and then review it to my street, if you think that will help. I was thinking about whether I should do this kinda thing for mine...I'm waiting a while though...cos don't wanna badger people for reviews lol. Asked my mum and she's like "och, I dinnae know whit tae say" ffs mum, tell the world it's the best book ever! lol!
A book? There's a book? Ha ha!
Oh, fabulous news, L.C.! As a proud subscriber to Kindle Unlimited, get ready for some pennies coming your way. I'll gladly leave a review once I've digested your beautiful work. Would you mind if I emailed you in the future with some questions about your experience in the publishing process? I've heard contrasting advice about using Amazon, recycling Vocal stories, etc. and would love to get your advice <3
I am happy to report that I already have my copy of your book. Admittedly, I have not yet read it in its entirety, but I have read enough to give an honest (and of course glowing) review!
Ha now you tell me 🤍