Context Is Everything

When Threads arrived on the scene last year, the honeymoon phase was wonderful. People were excited to be there and very good conversations were happening.

And then, all hell broke loose. Since then, there has not been a day without drama. Many people with very poor knowledge of or limited experience in publishing spread misinformation constantly. Their favorite weapons seem to be controversial posts and calculated misquotes / misreads. Even if they know they are wrong, they will still argue and attack you, until they have exhausted all their options. They will then re-post your words on their pages, often making you say things you never typed, so their friends can gang up on you.

Of course, those online behaviors are not new. Social media has always been a melting pot, which is what makes it so interesting. And that is the reason why I disagree with those who claim that it is responsible for many of our societal ills.

Social media does not have a brain or mind of its own. Human beings do.

Human beings run social networks and the way algorithms work. Human beings choose what they post to their profiles. They also decide how they want the world to perceive and treat them.

There is no going around that fact. If you do not set boundaries, those who are used to having things their way will walk all over you.

(Of course, there exists a breed of people who cannot take “no” for an answer. No matter how many times you make it clear to them that you are not ok with their behavior, they continue trying to push your buttons. After a while, and if you can, you should cut them out of your life. You do not even owe them an explanation.)

Anyone who has spent time on Facebook and Twitter will have come across users who believe that their ways are better than the rest of us. While there is nothing much we can do to stop them, I believe that it is important to speak out and educate. I want the younger generation of authors to understand that you can be successful on social media without having to resort to contentious, trolling, or spammy practices. Virality is not even a prerequisite.

Yes, you can be very successful online. But you must stop believing the self-proclaimed experts and gurus out there. Why? Because they do not have your best interests in mind. They will promise things that they cannot deliver to get your attention. Their insights also feel more like personal opinions and blanket statements than what you would hear / read from an experienced professional. Finally, they tend to get defensive when they meet disagreements.

To prove my point, I have a case study to share with you. It is quite long, so brace yourselves. 😜

Last weekend, I received the following DM on Instagram.

The practice of sliding into strangers’ DMs is part of the tactics that shady marketers have sold to their clients for decades, and which also include cold calling, cold emailing, and door-to-door selling. It first took off on LinkedIn, and then invaded Twitter and Facebook in the early 2010s. Instagram was hit last. That is where most of the spamming has been happening in the last five or six years.

As you can see in the above screenshot, the sender and I do not know each other. I had just started following them.

I do not have a problem with anyone sliding into my DMs, especially if we already know each other. What grinds my gears, though, is when you invade my private space and take up my time to peddle your wares to me, without so much as asking if it is acceptable first.

I am not a person to you. You have no interest in building a relationship with me. I am just a number on your poorly researched list.

Since I received other spam DMs after that, I decided to make my annoyance known on social media. Below is my initial post, followed by several problematic comments.

And then, this conversation happened.

My initial reaction was to block that user. A few moments later, I realized that they might publish an out-of-context post to portray themselves as the victim. So I unblocked them.

Well, I was right.

Some users who had initially sided with that person, realized what was going on. Their reactions were priceless. The OP deleted their post rather quickly after that. But they did not acknowledge my response.

The following day, I shared a generic follow-up post on my Threads account.

Not only did every commenter agree with me, but one of my friends also launched a poll to see if others did. The results are below.

64 votes. 64 NOs. Very telling, right?

The morale of the story? Context is everything. If you choose to overlook it, you will end up arguing over invisible semantics. Worse still, you will alienate others. Online, it can mean hundreds of thousands of people. You never know who is watching.

Just because others do not react to your posts, does not mean that you are invisible. The way you behave can make or break your career.

The main benefit of engaging with constructive intent online is that you will never have a problem admitting when you are wrong. Others will also be more lenient with you because they know you mean well.

A heartfelt apology will do better for your bottom line than any attempt at portraying yourself as someone you are not.

Also, if you struggle with self-promotion, do not just believe the hype that some will try to sell you. Ask questions, do research, and trust your instincts. If I had not done that myself, my author journey would have ended quickly.

Now, go follow your bliss! 🙂

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This essay is part of the collaborative series on writing and self-empowerment that Mackenzie Davis and I started a few months ago. For more information about it, click below.

• Essay 1 (Mackenzie Davis)
• Essay 2 (Cendrine Marrouat)
• Essay 3 (Mackenzie Davis)
• Essay 4 (Cendrine Marrouat)
• Essay 5 (Mackenzie Davis)
• Essay 5.5 (Mackenzie Davis)

That’s it for today! Thank you for reading.

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Cendrine Marrouat is a writer, photographer, podcaster, blogger, anthology editor, and the co-founder of Auroras & Blossoms and A Warm Cup of Cozy. She has authored and co-authored more than 40 books, including The Train: A Short Story (2023), In Her Own Words: A Collection of Short Stories & Flashku (2022), After the Fires of Day: Haiku Inspired by Kahlil Gibran & Alphonse de Lamartine (2021), Rhythm Flourishing: A Collection of Kindku and Sixku (2020), Walks: A Collection of Haiku (2019–2020), and In the Silence of Words: A Three-Act Play (2018).

Cendrine’s work has appeared in many publications. She is the creator of the Sixku, Flashku, Sepigram, and Reminigram; as well as the co-creator of the Kindku, Pareiku, Vardhaku, and Hemingku.