CAN I BREAK UP

If you want to break up with this girl, you will lose her. That is a fact of breaking up. In what way do you want to ‘keep’ her? As a friend? That will take a great deal of time to develop once you have broken up with her.

Breaking up, even when necessary, is painful. It will hurt—both of you. Life is like that. If you will live as an adult, you will find honest but kind ways to be true to yourself and to accept the pain that comes from leaving a relationship or getting left behind.

It sounds as if your love for this girl is changing. It may be evolving into a more friendship-type of love. There will come a point in which you will feel so strongly that you must get out of this relationship that you create an argument or say some really hurtful things. Do you want that?

The truth, even gently told, is painful. You cannot leave this relationship without causing some hurt because this girl has opened herself to you and love for another makes us vulnerable.

When you say: ‘I should leave her.” What does that mean? Is someone pushing you to break up? Or are you thinking this because you feel that you are not being fair to her or to you by remaining?

When you tell her, set the scene carefully so there are no interruptions and she has a way to leave or you can take her home or wherever she wants to be. She will want to physically leave the scene. So will you. Perhaps the park near her house. Protect her dignity.

What you’re experiencing is completely normal, and whenever someone experiences what you’re experiencing, I always say the same thing to them. Welcome to the wonderful world of relationships man. Relationships are truly a double edged sword. Filled with happiness and pain. You can never have one without the other.

There’s a few reasons for why you’re not able to pull the trigger on your unhappy relationship.

You’re scared to be alone again.

Self-Doubt

You’re scared to lose her.

You’re unsure if it’s the right decision.

You’re scared you won’t find someone else.

You question if you’re overreacting.

Everyone else but you likes her.

You don’t want change

You don’t want to be with her, but don’t necessarily want anyone else being with her Lastly, you’ve settled.

Look man, what your experiencing is one of the hardest parts of a relationship really. One of the hardest parts of relationships is becoming unhappy, thinking about breaking up with her, and failing to do it.

I’m a 42 year old man and just 3 months ago went through a break up of being with this girl for 6 years. Truth be told after the first year I started feeling the way you did. I’ll be honest here, I don’t like being alone, most people will never admit that, but I got no problems with saying that. I do just fine on my own, but I just hate the loneliness of being single, it could be for a million reasons too. There were so many times I would fantasize and practice ways to dump her. Why? Why was I thinking about breaking up with her and couldn’t do it? For me it was a combination of not wanting to have to do the dating thing all over again, maybe a bit of self-doubt, and not liking being alone.

So I went to plan B, and don’t ever do plan B man. I settled, became miserable, depressed, and ended up feeling alone in the relationship anyway, and yes man, you can feel alone in a relationship also, it’s an actual thing. Plan B also consists of basically forcing her hand to dump you instead of you dumping her first.

A lot of idiotic people seem to care about who dumps who first, but truth be told, whoever dumped who first is irrelevant, plainly put, there was a problem and it needed to end. Whoever did it first is irrelevant. People who are obsessed with who dumped who first have serious problems with their ego, and anyone reading this who’s ever said “I dumped them first” in fact has an ego problem. I noticed as I’ve aged, it’s far more easier to get over someone after a break-up if they dump me first. I’m never struggling with the after thoughts of self-doubt and if I made the right decision. The way my brain perceives it is that they gave up first if I got dumped. When someone gives up on you, for me, it makes moving on 10x more easier. It becomes their burden to bare and their decision to live with, not mine. I know it sounds strange, but this works incredibly well for me. Since my split with this girl from a 6-year relationship I’ve thought about her only once, and have since slept with 3 other women, I’m over it now.

Of course when I was in my early 20’s I had no problems breaking up with a girl, but as I’ve aged I’ve also gotten more in touch with my feelings and get attached a lot harder then I used to, so breaking up always feels worse, but at the same time, I’ve gotten used to relationships running their courses, and every time I’ve felt like I might not find someone else, not long after another woman would be just around the corner.

Truth be told here man I could give you way more advice, but I don’t want to bore people here with my words. My best advice here is to get the break up over with the sooner the better, because not only are you wasting her time, but more importantly, yours. Picture your freedom and time filled with someone new who you will be a lot more happier with and compatible with.

Kindly Review friends for more to read.