A death to literature

Literature, huh, yeah,

What is it good for?

Absolutely nothing!

Say it again, y'all*

Literature? Phooeee!

As a boy in school, I hated English lit. Despite my recent-found love of certain exceptional examples, like Melville's Moby Dick, I still do.

*With apologies to Edwin Starr

As a writer, creators of flowery, tortured, cerebral exercises in linguistic legerdemain are the enemy. When I submit my humble efforts at story writing to publishers and creative writing competitions, I know I will be thrown off the heap at the first sign of introspective circumlocution. Sour grapes? Maybe, but even taking into account my anguish at being sent to the back of the queue by such highbrowism, I can't read the stuff and really wonder why others rate it so much? Perhaps my love of film and TV has rendered me incapable of putting the cerebral effort into understanding the value of these masterpieces of the English language. Not only do I not enjoy reading literary worthies, I don't even recognise them when they are put in front of my face.

As an example, attending a book signing at a local book store a few years ago, I dutifully sipped the free nondescript red wine and listened to the nice, well-educated young woman and the politely-spoken young boy droning on about their artistic journeys. Soft-hearted as I am, I bought a signed copy of each of their weighty tombs of nicely-designed books. It was my way of supporting what I took to be new writers struggling to be heard. I like to encourage budding talent when I can. I even tried wading through the between-the-covers drivel printed on the off-white pages. Garbage!

Neither book interested, enticed or bewitched me and I never passed page three in either book.

Shocked I was, therefore, to see one of them, the more coma-inducing of the two, reach the best-seller list. The actual best seller list! How did that happen? Had I reviewed it, I would have concluded "don't bother." Just shows how little I know about the finer things in literary life.

Then again, could it be a case of the Emperor's new clothes?

I have long given up ever trying to get a proper publisher interested in my not-very-literary keyboard work. I write as a hobby, not a 'profession' and I consider writing begging letters to publishers and agents beneath me. Which is another way of saying I can't be bothered. Don't get me wrong, I would have no objection to accepting that $30,000 advance for my unexpurgated manuscript, should the offer ever come my way. Failing that, I will stick to the occasional self-constructed KDP offering, while posting the rest on Vocal.

Having entered most of the Vocal challenges since joining Vocal+ just over a year ago, I recently managed to get one of my submissions into the runner-up list and for this I am truly gratified and grateful. But when it comes to the Vocal awards, though I keep looking and thinking which of my stories might be worth submitting, I end up concluding I have nothing that would meet the requirement of literary excellence.

Am I being negative? Perhaps I am, but $20 per submission is a lot to spend. I have entered one of the categories, flash fiction. This is probably my strongest side and I love to boil a story down to 250, 100, or even 50 words. Great exercise in word choice and ruthless editing. I don't hold out much hope pf winning but I am happy to support the awards and throw my $20 into the prize pot for others to claim. But that is as far as my generosity extends and I have no illusions about my literary talent. Story teller I may be. Award-winning literary genius I am certainly not.

Don't let me put you off, though. Entering competitions can be instructive and provides good experience. Putting your own efforts up against other creators is also helpful at developing your skills. It's also one of those things that, ultimately, gets you noticed. Do read the advice and information about how to enter and what the judges are looking for. If you want to test out your literary capabilities, then get submitting. At least put one of your best efforts forward and be prepared to invest $20 in your future career as a Vocal creator.

Thanks for reading

Fahrenhiet 451? Bring it on brother!