Relocating to the UK: 4 Things No One Prepares You For

What do I need to know before relocation? I imagine this would be a popular search term for anyone thinking of or about to move abroad. But can anyone or any article really tell you all you need to consider before relocating? I can tell you from experience that the answer is NO.

I recently moved over 4,000 miles away from home. I had been privy to some information on what to expect thanks to my sleuth of a hubby. I also got some heads-ups from a few friends and family members, some of who had been here for years. But you know that saying "the proof of the pudding is in the eating"? Yeah, cue it in here.

I think it would very much help if anyone embarking on the journey just braced themselves for surprises. No, that does not mean you should neglect research on your destination or reject tips from those who have gone before you—that would be foolish! I'm saying, even though you have those, prepare yourself mentally to be shocked. That should cushion the impact, probably a bit though, but when you're in a strange land, a bit means a lot. So here are 4 things I think no one can prepare you for about relocation.

The Strangeness

I don't know how best to explain this except that, if you've felt it before, you'll know what I mean. It's this feeling of being out of place. Like you've been caught in a market square without clothes on and everyone has to stare. Like you don't belong. Moving to a new continent taught me something about this feeling—it comes in degrees. The strangeness I felt moving from one city to another back home is TOTALLY different from that of this relocation. Now, I have my dear, dear aunt here, and for the first 2 weeks, I stayed with a friend-like-sister. But it does nothing to stop you feeling a little lost. I guess it's expected, yeah? EVERYTHING around you is new–the weather, the people, the very ground you walk on–so that strangeness seeps into you. But what I need you to know is that nothing can prepare you for how it actually FEELS.

The Homesickness

Let me tell you, the nuances of homesickness I have experienced have been subtly mindblowing. In other words, E shock me! For most of my life, I only feel homesick when I've been away from home for a while. That is still very much a thing when you relocate, but the waves of homesickness that floor you are the little ones–remembering the smell of small chops out of the blue (I blame Rhoddy's Bites for this one), hearing a voice outside and thinking for a minute that it's your neighbor back home, waking up and wondering if you've taken your dog to pee (forgetting she's many many miles away), worrying for a split second that you'll pay dearly for the electricity NEPA has left on for so long… I really can't put into words how it feels in that moment. You'll have to wait and see.

The Weather

I'm going to be writing this from my point of view—an African gal moving to friggingly cold Europe. But I suspect it applies the other way around as well. I caught the tail end of winter, and of course, I expected it to be cold. But while you may come fully armed with weather-appropriate clothing, the impact of new weather is a different tale entirely. No one tells you what having to wear tights 24/7 after a lifetime spent in shorts does to your skin. No one tells you how weird the cold feels on you because this 'cold' is not the same 'cold' from back home. And in the moments where you come to experience these things post-relocation, you'll realize you were not 'ready’.

The Racism

I think this one is pretty obvious—NO ONE can prepare you for what it feels like to suspect or confirm you've been a victim of racism. No matter how much you psych yourself up for the big R before relocation, it still hits you in the face like a ton of bricks. Especially if you've never really experienced it before. The realization that someone has decided to hate you based on nothing other than the color of your skin is soul-crushing.

Bonus Tip: If your melanin be poppin', don't imagine you'll only suffer this at the hands of white people. Black people–men and women with the same skin color as you–will put you through it. Does one still call that racism? I don't know. But just know it will hurt like no man's business, and there's really no preparation for it.

Okay, peoples! If you know any other things that can be added to this list, please share them in the comments. I'm on a new journey myself, and it's not always fun. Would be nice to learn from more people's relocation experiences.