Reflection

Many children dream of being superheroes like Batman or Spiderman, acquiring superpowers that allow them to read the minds of others, or the ability to be invisible or extraordinarily strong.Many dream of being astronauts and treading the moon and seeing the stars much more closely. Many others fantasize about becoming super models or great actors and appear on all the televisions. Some dream of fairies and magical creatures, or with huge dinosaurs that become their friends. All children dream big, including me, because dreams do happen. But I guess my imagination was in another dimension. I am 16-years-old, but I still dream like a little girl with big expectations. I used to dream of traveling, meeting new people from all over the world. I dreamed of becoming independent, of having the opportunity to immerse myself completely in another world and to evade myself for a while in order to be able to understand different perspectives, cultures, and lives after all.

Not long ago my mind was already screaming for a change in my life, and not for anything special, but to open my eyes and discover the things that life has hidden from us. "It's not the right moment" is what I received largely a few years ago when I brought up the idea of studying abroad. I was an innocent girl, I had no idea of ​​life, and I wanted to live mine on my own, without even knowing how to cook or do other basic things that you need. But I kept dreaming about it strongly, it was my main thought every time I listened to American songs or listened to the British accent in English class. Or when I saw the mythical movies of American teenagers, like High School Musical, which attracted our special attention through the school lockers and the typical yellow bus. That was the lifestyle that I convinced myself to have. Take a plane for the first time in my life, talk to an American face to face, experience the cold weather and essence of such an exotic place like Wisconsin... Everything was about first-times, and that's when my experience began, after getting a scholarship that would take me to make my dream come true. The longest 6 months of waiting in my life, accompanied by new feelings and emotions, but mostly farewells... many farewells. And nights of crying and infinite minutes of contagious laughter and wonderful moments, each unique and special, like the people who created them. In the end, the moment arrived and I remember constantly repeating myself "find someone who I can fit 100 percent on the other side of the pond with." It was my main goal to achieve, in addition to learning a lot of English, to get involved in the studies to the fullest, to give me the opportunity to open myself more and in a certain way to know myself and let others do it as well, to mature and find the great value of non-material things, to miss people and things, spread happiness around the world and become a better person, among many other things. But you do not realize anything until you are 7584 miles away from home, after having crossed the Atlantic Ocean fully and having learned the first lesson: you have not given everything you have received.Long story. But this is the first step to open the eyes... and the heart, which plays an important role in this experience. "Sorry, would you say that again, please?" were possibly the words that came out of my mouth during the first month in my host home with my amazing American family (mother, father and two children, 13- and 16-years-old) , besides "OH MY GOD, THAT'S THE YELLOW BUS!" and a ton of "Nice to meet you!" which led me to the beginning of great friendships.

Things did not turn out exactly as I premeditated. I was completely alone in a place where nobody spoke my language and where I still had difficulty understanding others, which made me lose opportunities to meet certain people. I was in an unstable mood. Some days I woke up wanting to eat the world, and others wanting it to eat me. I guess I needed attention, and self confidence... and many other things I thought I had but I was wrong, second lesson. It is worth mentioning that things between the brothers and I did not work out at the beginning, which did not help because I had other things to be upset about at that moment. I was at a point where my dream, in my opinion, had become my nightmare. However, it did not take me long to change my mindset and realize that there were people around town who would welcome me and make my days awesome. I saw how the boys and girls had a great impact on me. I'm not going to say that I was dependent on them, but my mood was affected by them on a large scale, both for good and bad. Though I guess everyone cares about what other people think about them, especially teenagers like me. And it affects even more when you give them the power to do it. In between a few days of shit, ups, downs, attempts to pronounce words and pay attention in class, I met a girl. And with knowing, I mean we opened ourselves to each other and gave us confidence to such an extent that we were able to fully show our real personalities to each other. This was my great motivation, which revived my desire to continue smiling at people when walking down the hallway, keep reminding myself the reason why I was where I was, continue living the dream that no one was going to ruin... third lesson. It was a matter of a few months before I realized that nobody had the power to hurt me unless I gave it to them, and suddenly my mind took a 360 degree turnabout. I looked in the mirror and saw my reflection, but with many more virtues this time. I could see how I did not mentally decay for nonsense, derogatory comments of stupid people anymore, or how I was then able to listen and help someone who needed it. Or the simple fact of being growing as a person, one of the goals I was looking forward to achieving.

Things changed from one day to the next, but they did not catch me by surprise anymore. Now I was ready and had some B and C plans. From September to January, I gave importance to practically insignificant things, such as waiting for something I knew would never come, or persuading myself that the problem was me and not my host brothers. And when I least expected it, that bad streak broke and the good things began to arrive little by little. It must be said that during those first five months I experienced good, unforgettable things, but it was definitely the period of time necessary to mature through letdowns.

But unfortunately no one can stop time and it runs against us. I am three months away from my return and I see myself in a place full of life, a new best friend, a much higher level of English, thousands of emails and questions to answer, a second family, two brothers plus my older sister in Spain, an improved version of myself (which I like to call version 2.0), a lot of things to experience still, as well as things to regret and learn from. And what remains for me to learn? I do not have the slightest idea, nor do I want to know, and that is the best part. Do not expect anything of what is to come, live without thinking too much, enjoying the littlest things and letting everything flow as it should.