Praying I Wouldn't Fall Off Into The Water And Be Eaten By Sharks

Ever since I was a teenager, I dreamed of living some place tropical with easy access to beaches. Brazil was my top choice, but I had the opportunity to move to St. John, USVI with a couple of friends and seized it.

Within my first few months there, I started dating a guy who owned and lived on a sailboat.

It was about half the size as the one in this photo, but it was a similar style that he told me was famous in the New England area, where he was from originally.

He had moved to St. John several years before me and loved sailing.

He planned to get his captain's license. As far as I know, he never did.

We ended up falling in love and became a "serious couple".

Little did I know at the time that he hoped and expected that I would want to learn how to sail as well.

Mind you, I'm a city girl from Philly who thoroughly enjoyed sailing, but I never once imagined that I would be asked to do the work that sailing entailed.

You see how the boat is leaning over to the left? During storms or high winds, the leaning would be so extreme that I thought the boat would capsize.

I hated sailing during those times. Thankfully, I was never sea sick, but I was sick of the fear of capsizing!

The movie Jaws traumatized as a child (I never should've been allowed to see such a movie at a young age) and has made me feel ridiculously afraid any time I'm in open water, away from the shore.

To be fair, the fish that are commonly seen in the Caribbean waters don't attack humans. My boyfriend used to go lobster diving and fished off his boat plenty of times without incident.

It didn't matter to me - sharks were out there and I felt like prey that they were eagerly waiting to eat.

I eventually left St. John and moved back to Philly to help my family during a difficult time.

My sailor boyfriend ended our relationship beforehand because he didn't want to try doing the long-distance thing. I was heart-broken.

Almost a year later, he tried to make it up to me by paying for a round-trip plane ticket to St. John to spend a week with him.

I accepted.

On my third day there, he took me out on a catamaran by ourselves.

This might sound awesome and exciting to some, but I am NOT a "thrill-seeker" and I knew my ex had never sailed a catamaran by himself before.

I was scared shitless!

I was terrified that the boat would capsize and a shark would snatch me up!

It was the longest 2 hours or so of my life.

I consider myself an "adventurous" person, but sailing on a catamaran with a dude who wasn't even experienced was too much for my blood.

Those things go extremely fast (which I didn't know beforehand) and are right on top of the water (not much distance between you and the sharks)

I would never ever do it again!

However…I am grateful that I did it ONCE because we didn’t capsize and it was a unique experience that I never imagined I would have.

Since that last trip to St. John in 2005, I have been on a few small motor boats and ferries, but no sailboats.

I miss it. They are magical experiences, especially while the sun is setting.

Believe it or not, I enjoy snorkeling, but only close to the shore, where I think I stand a good enough chance of making it back to safety if I hear someone scream, “Shark”!