Five Ways Bicycle Touring Can Strengthen Your Relationship

My partner and I are fresh off our first bicycle tour. We cycled from north of Finland to the east coast of Spain to raise money for the Royal Marsden Cancer Charity. For ten weeks and two days, we were together for almost 24/7 (bar trips to the toilet or shower) and we are now closer than ever.

Of course, there were (plenty of) moments when just the sound of his breathing pissed me off, and I know I pissed him off, too. But, we overcame those moments and 5,518 kilometres since the start of our journey, we are going strong. And already planning our next ride.

Here is how bicycle touring can strengthen your relationship.

Paraphrasing the old saying: couples who cycle together stay together

We first got the idea of cycling across Europe on a drunken night during the first COVID lockdown. It was born out of lockdown boredom and my desire to raise money for the Royal Marsden Cancer Charity.

I was diagnosed with stage three womb cancer in March 2019 and treated at the Royal Marsden. The amazing care I received left me with a desire to support the life-saving research they do so more people will have the chance to survive cancer.

Once sober, we could have shrugged off the idea as a fleeting drunken madness, but instead of going away, the idea stuck. Before we knew it, we were heading out for training rides and mapping our route across the continent.

We’d sit in front of the telly in the evenings and most weekends, too, before cycling gave us a common hobby. We might have short conversations, but mostly we sat there like zombies, each in our own corner of the sofa.

Bicycle touring changed it all. It led us to spend more quality time together, and to value each other more.

You get to know each other better

When you are on the road and spend most of the time with nobody else to talk to, you end up talking much more than at home. I mean, of course you could try spending the journey in your own cocoon and ignoring each other, but that would likely make it more awkward rather than bonding experience.

We certainly talked more and learnt more about each other in the last ten weeks than we did in our previous five years together.

When camping in the wild with nothing but wildlife to keep us company, we ended up sharing more about life and dreams than ever before.

You learn to solve problems together

When you are on the road for several weeks, there will be problems. Lots of them. Problems with where to set up camp, which routes to take and losing the GPS signal when you are cycling in the middle of nowhere just to mention a few.

Did we solve all the problems we encountered calmly?

Of course not. There were a few shouting matches on the side of the road, especially when we had cycled for ten hours, it was getting dark and we were tired and still looking for somewhere to camp.

We worked on listening to each other. Sometimes it meant biting your tongue when you really wanted to scream until a vein popped on your forehead. But when you hold your tongue, you listen better. With time and effort, instead of blaming each other for the problems, we learnt to tackle them together.

You strengthen each other

When you are cycling 5,518 kilometres in just over ten weeks, there are times when you feel weak and tired. Times when you wish you could curl up in a warm bed instead of crawling into a cold, damp tent.

That’s when you need your partner. We have learnt to be there for each other when the other has a weak moment. To encourage and support when the going gets hard.

Sometimes it’s a matter of tough love, other times it’s a warming hug when you crawl into your sleeping bags. It’s about taking turns to lead when battling strong headwinds and giving up your last biscuit.

You create everlasting, wonderful memories

We have shared ten weeks and two days of cycling across Europe and those weeks were packed full of wonderful memories.

We have seen more in ten weeks than many people see in their lifetime. We’ll never forget the moment we cycled up and up and up in Southern France and reaching the top of the climb, saw the Mediterranean Sea for the first time.

Nor will we forget the kind and wonderful people we met on our journey. Like the kind campsite owners in Finland. They gave us a free cabin when we turned up soaked to the bone. Or the elderly German man on the electric bike who rode eight kilometres out of his way to help us back on the right track when we lost the GPS.

We will have these shared memories forever. Memories that bind us together.

But the sex life…

Don’t let that put you off trying bicycle touring with your partner.

Since our first bicycle tour was a challenge ride to raise money, we had to cycle about 80 kilometres per day on average. It’s hard to find the strength for anything other than putting up a tent and cooking a bit of food after that.

On our next bicycle tour, which we’ll do purely for pleasure, not as a challenge, we’ll halve the distance per day. Who knows, it might be a different outcome.

- - -

You might think I’d like to improve our relationship, but I don’t fancy spending ten weeks on the road and sleeping in a tent.

That’s perfectly fine. You don’t have to go to extreme measures straight away.

Start small. Go away for a weekend on your bikes. Then try a week. You might soon find that not only are you happier together, but you are also hooked on bicycle touring.

If the idea of camping puts you off, there are alternatives for the tent. Plenty of bicycle tourers stay in hotels. That option means you can travel lighter and it might even improve the sex life, too!