The Culture of Consent
The Culture of Consent

What Is Consensual Sex?

My Personal Experiences...

What Is Consensual Sex?
Photo by Shaojie on Unsplash

Being a woman, I wouldn’t trade it for the world!

Being a human being with a sensitive heart and kind spirit in a world full of energy-drainers, THAT I would definitely trade. Aliens, beam me up!

But, this isn’t a post about extraterrestrials beings and galactic dimensions.

This is a post stating that I didn’t understand what consensual sex was, until I decided I could no longer put up with dating inconsiderate, self-absorbed men.

I believe our parents, sex-ed, and even society, focus a lot on what rape is— however, completely overlook the in-between. Hopefully this’ll spark a discussion between the sexes, and encourage healthier relationships surrounded by mutual respect and empathy.

What do you call it when you’re sucking face and he attempts to undress you, but you tell him “no,” yet he tries to convince you that it’s “okay”? You keep telling them no, and now you’re wrestling him to keep your legs closed. He has a grimy smile on his face like this shit is a muthafuckin’ game?! He’s choking you so much that you can barely breath and, instead of fighting him off, you just take it. You convince yourself that it is “okay.” This isn’t consensual, right?

What do you call it when you’re home and your man comes back drunk, smelling like cigarettes and he wants some p—? He wakes you up as he rubs on your ass with cold fingers and breathes in your ear, a slopped smile on his face. You turn over with a cordial smile and politely tell him to lay down and go to sleep, “No, come on babe!” You continue to deny him, until he starts kissing on your neck. Yeah it feels good a little bit but this moment does not feel right. “No, I don’t want to have sex.” Now he pouts and begins to harshly rub on you through your panties. So you roll eyes and turn over, stick your butt out and let him have it. He acts like a little kid who finally got what he was begging for. He starts pumping, in and out, in and out. You’re dry so he spits on it— definitely not taking the que. You’re not moaning or love-faced. Just simply laying there and rolling your eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asks over your shoulder. “I told you I didn’t want to have sex.” “Alright babe, let me finish.” Is this consensual?

How about that time when you’re sleeping together and he wakes up and pokes you with it. You’re definitely in the mood so you follow through with foreplay. Finally he tries to stick it inside and you tell him, “Get the condom”. He proceeds to stick it inside, disregarding your responsible caution. You wiggle away, but he pulls you back and keeps pumping. Your lady parts are getting swollen and dry. Then he cums in you and buys you a Plan B the next morning. I know that this can not be considered consensual either.

What am I supposed to call it when I feel like a piece of me was taken away? My body isn't telling me that this was consensual.

To the reader . . . I always asks prospective men if they would let their future daughter date a man like them. A lot of them say that that’s “different,” but it’s not.

You’re the first man that she will fall in love with and she will wish for a man like you.

Love, Your Favorite Pretty Girl
Love, Your Favorite Pretty Girl
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Love, Your Favorite Pretty Girl

The virtual words of an expressive 90s baby typed, revised, and publised.. Not for the faint of heart - unless you're ready for a good cry on self-reflection, and a gut-wrenchin' laugh! IG @astianaalissia

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