Viva logo


Understanding relationship boundaries

By Bridget DykePublished 4 months ago 5 min read
Photo by Candice Picard on Unsplash

things one should never share with their partner no matter what

Establishing healthy boundaries is a crucial aspect of any relationship. While open communication and trust are vital, there are certain topics that individuals may choose to keep private from their partners. This essay aims to explore the concept of boundaries in relationships and delve into specific areas where discretion may be necessary. However, it is essential to note that these guidelines are not absolute and depend on the unique dynamics of each relationship.

Some deeply traumatic experiences can be challenging to share, even with the most understanding partner. Individuals who have faced past abuse, loss, or other traumatic events may need professional support before discussing such matters with their partners. Revealing these sensitive topics prematurely can potentially overwhelm both parties and strain the relationship. However, maintaining open communication about emotional well-being and ensuring a safe environment for healing is vital.

While open discussions about sexual preferences are often encouraged in healthy relationships, it is crucial to maintain boundaries when sharing intimate fantasies and desires. Not everyone may feel comfortable or share the same level of interest in certain sexual activities. Respecting each other's boundaries and discussing these matters openly, without feeling obliged to divulge every specific detail, can foster trust and intimacy without sacrificing personal privacy.

Everyone has their share of personal struggles, insecurities, and self-doubt. It is not always necessary or advisable to share every minute detail of these struggles with a partner. Maintaining a level of independence and self-reliance in overcoming personal challenges can be empowering. However, if these struggles start significantly affecting the relationship, seeking guidance from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial in finding a healthy balance between personal privacy and shared vulnerability.

While honesty and transparency are vital in a relationship, divulging intimate details of previous relationships can potentially create unnecessary jealousy, insecurity, or comparisons. Sharing general information, such as the fact that one has been in past relationships, is healthy and expected. However, discussing specific details, including sexual encounters or comparisons between past and present partners, can harm the current relationship. It is essential to focus on building trust and understanding in the present rather than dwelling on past experiences.

Respecting confidentiality is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship. If a partner confides in you with sensitive information or secrets, it is crucial to maintain their trust and keep that information confidential. Sharing such information without consent can lead to betrayal, erode trust, and damage the relationship irreparably. By setting boundaries around the confidentiality of shared information, individuals can create a safe and trusting environment for open communication.

Money-related topics can often be a source of tension and conflict in relationships. While discussing financial goals, budgeting, and financial responsibilities is necessary, disclosing every detail of personal financial history may not always be essential. Maintaining a level of financial independence and privacy allows individuals to retain a sense of autonomy and can prevent unnecessary strain on the relationship.

Childhood traumas and family secrets can be deeply personal and challenging to share. These experiences may shape an individual's behavior and outlook on life, but disclosing every detail to a partner is not always necessary. Opening up about general aspects of these experiences can help the partner understand certain triggers or behaviors, but it is crucial to respect personal boundaries and be mindful of potential emotional repercussions.

Establishing boundaries in relationships is essential for maintaining individuality, trust, and emotional well-being. While open communication and vulnerability are crucial, there are certain topics that individuals may choose to keep private from their partners. Personal traumas and triggers, intimate fantasies and desires, individual struggles and insecurities, previous relationship details, confidential information shared in trust, financial matters, and childhood traumas and family secrets are among the topics that individuals may opt to keep to themselves in certain situations.

It is important to emphasize that the boundaries mentioned in this essay are not rigid rules but general guidelines. Each relationship is unique, and partners should engage in open and honest communication to establish their own set of boundaries that both parties feel comfortable with. Boundaries are not meant to create distance or hinder intimacy but rather to ensure that individuals maintain their sense of self and personal privacy within the relationship.

Maintaining boundaries in certain areas can help preserve emotional well-being, protect personal privacy, and prevent unnecessary strain on the relationship. It is crucial to strike a balance between openness and discretion, respecting each other's need for privacy without compromising trust and communication.

When faced with the decision of whether or not to share a particular topic with a partner, individuals should consider the potential impact on both themselves and their relationship. Reflecting on the purpose of sharing, the potential consequences, and the emotional readiness of both partners can guide the decision-making process.

However, it is important to note that if any of these topics are significantly impacting the relationship or causing distress, seeking professional guidance, such as couples therapy or individual counseling, can be beneficial. A trained therapist can help navigate sensitive subjects and provide tools for effective communication and problem-solving.

Ultimately, the key to a healthy and fulfilling relationship lies in establishing mutual trust, respect, and understanding. Open communication and setting clear boundaries contribute to the growth and longevity of the partnership. By maintaining a delicate balance between sharing and respecting privacy, individuals can cultivate a relationship that allows for personal growth, emotional support, and genuine connection.

gender rolesrelationships

About the Creator

Bridget Dyke

As a passionate writer of fiction and general articles, I invite you to embark on an extraordinary literary journey with me. With immersive stories and thought-provoking articles that will captivate your mind and touch your soul.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights


There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2023 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.