Patriarchy “A timeless sickness”

On a lonely night in Helsinki, I found myself on my sofa watching Ridley Scott's new movie "The Last Duel". I was expecting a decent movie to spend my sleepless night and I end up watching a remarkable film, depicting the timeless patriarchal violence of our society. I am not going to "spoil" the movie, on the contrary, I will argue you to see it, or even better read the book, from which the movie was inspired, by Eric Lager. It is about the story of Lady Marguerite, a victim of rape by a deluded man, with the inability of understanding the concept of rape. Due to his "habit" of enforcing violence against other women in the past. In a time, in which a patriarchal society rushes to justify violence against women.

Sounds familiar?

Yes, that was the question I asked myself, in the middle of the movie, and still remains in my mind. Apart from the really good script, acting and directing, that managed to display a timeless message through medieval scenery. The familiarity of that story forced me to talk about this. Even if my gender is privileged not to experience patriarchal violence that often, I will describe how the brutal complex of patriarchy is actually also forcing violence against men and especially children. But I deem it necessary, to begin with, the majority of victims,who are women. Not as a competition, but as an obligation to say the truth. I apologize if this article becomes personal in some parts, but this is a personal comment on the current and at the same time urgent situation that is happening all over the world.

In the last years, my country Greece, following the "me too" movement in the United States, had a similar movement starting from the field of art, and specifically cinema and theater and moving to the so-called everyday people, or to phrase it better, everyday victims. And even though, the vast majority of media started broadcasting the news of violence in the field of arts as celebrity gossip, in a desperate attempt to lure the viewers into gossiping about a variety of crimes. I want to believe that it was the beginning of hope for many people. I want to believe that it gave power to all these "everyday" individuals to rise up and finally "point" publicly the ones that caused them so much suffering. In my disappointment I still see the media delivering these news as a form of cheap thrill for a crime-hungry audience. But even though I might seem naively optimistic, I believe that our societies have or at least should reach a point at which, we could understand that these despicable crimes shouldn't work as a form of entertainment. But as a sign of sickness. In a society that desperately needs to be treated.

Treated from what?

That might be our next question or at least our way of trying to see the actual sickness of our society, without only insisting on the signs of the sickness. This is the moment that this article might turn a bit more personal. The cause and the sickness itself have only one name and that name is Patriarchy. Sorry, all my deluded friends who in the name of patriarchy, you fantasize about knights in white horses saving princesses and fighting for kingdoms. Patriarchy has one aspect and it is only violence. In a family, for example, all members have to obey an illusional or maybe delusional hierarchy of a powerful and "just" master. But this master is not "just", but justified. Wrongly justified in the words that we have relentlessly repeated for generations and generations. Sentences like; "he is a man, it is alright if he slaps you once or twice", "did you ask your husband?" "the way she was dressing was provocative" "she was looking for it" and last but not least "he is a father, he has the right to punish his children". So no, it does not matter if all these "concerned" podcasters nowadays are seeing Patriarchy as a lost art of responsibility. It is a remaining "art" of violence and cowardness, an act of fear against people who loved you, or never harmed you or could never mean any threat to you. It is the decision of being brutal, just to exercise a form of superiority that you and only you can see. A concept of control, against your partner, against your children, a form of power that seems more like a constant "blackmail".

What can we do?

The first and most basic thing we could do is finally recognise this violence. In work environments, families, sports and in every other aspect of society. It is our moral duty to stop normalizing any form of violence, and in that sense Patriarchy too. Then we should fight for a law system that would be mature enough to face this kind of violence and injustice, by listening to the screams of the abused. The voices of dead women in Greece these last years and in all the years passed, do not ask for blind revenge. They are showing us our duty to protect future generations from this type of violence.

Written and published by Sergios Saropoulos.