Women have been fighting for their rights for the last 200 years. In many ways, we have progressed by leaps and bounds. We can vote, own property, have a job, make our own money, go to school, and are no longer sent to a looney bin for saying no to our dads or husbands. However, when it comes to domestic abuse, there is still a long way to go before the law and society catches up to where we should be.
It is 2018—almost 19—and women are still being abused daily, with the numbers in reports going down yearly because the law is unwilling to help them. I have personally had police tell me there is nothing they could do to help. Getting a restraining order is hard and let's be serious, it's not like it creates a magical barrier of protection around you.
It is even worse for those women that have children with their abusers because legally the fathers are allowed to have access and possibly even custody of their children. This means that many times a month, a woman will have to talk to and see their abuser for years to come. This also creates the extreme possibility that the father will abuse the children as well.
If a child is being abused by their father, it is hard for women to prove and if they can, in many cases the fathers are still allowed access but have Child and Family Services around to "supervise," instead of doing what is right for the child and mother by taking away a father's rights.
If a women is raped, harassed, or abused by someone they don't know there is a good possibility those women will never have to see that person again. This is how it should be. It should also not be allowed for a child to be made to see someone who is so toxic while the mother stands by and watches. If it was anyone but their legal father, the law would actually deter a child from entering such a toxic environment. However, somehow our law has started to instead look out for the "rights" of the other person (the abuser), believing that it is more important for the father/ abuser to have access to their child and ex—whom they have abused either physically or mentally, continuing the cycle of control and never allowing the women to have the freedom she deserves.
By forcing women and children to be a part of their abuser's lives constantly, our society and legal system is proving once again that men are still the priority. If it were men who were constantly being abused, harassed, and used they would never be expected to associate with the one doing it to them. If it were men who were coming forward with the issues then the laws would have been changed long ago. However, it is still being seen time and time again that in a case of her word against his, people take his word.
Legally we are still looking out for the "rights" of the man before the woman or child. In my opinion, if someone has abused, harassed, threatened etc. someone else, they gave their rights away. Never should someone have that kind of power over someone else and even worse, the law should never allow it to continue... never mind actually help it continue, like they are now.
Although it is widely believed that in Family Court women are the ones who are given the advantage, I believe this is not true. I do understand that there are times that is seems unfair and that women get more. However, in the grand scheme, I believe that the men who go through family court are more often than not given way more than they deserve. I also believe this is the start to what I want to call “reverse feminism.” But that is for another article.