As time went on Lilianna became best friends with Mary Jane. Her father had never looked at her the same and it felt like wonderful life that she once knew would never be the same. Before the travesty against her body she had been somewhat an ambivert, knowing when to be introvert and extrovert. However after the rape she went completely changed, becoming an introvert completely. It was as if her spirit internally had been crushed, no longer in touch with God. She started to question if he was real, why would he let that happen to her, was it her fault for being disobedient or sneaky. Poor Lilianna, a child that had to face so many hard questions.
What I want to talk about today is the after effect of the trauma and how Lilianna experienced traumas in threes. When she was raped it had been the summer before her eighth grade year. Just a child, a baby and she never felt like she needed the eyes of a guy, I mean she had a crush that she never spoke to. She was what you would have called a tom-boy, for sure. She was fine being invisible, however going back to school into her 8th grade year after the summer tragedy, she had notice that kids had started to laugh and giggle at her, as if there was something on her face.
She ran to the restroom urgently thinking that she didn't catch a prank a sibling may have done, you know like brothers do. But nothing was there. One of her good friends Megan came to her and said "is it true", Lilianna had no idea what she was talking about, she responded, "is what true?'. Megan started to look at Lillianna as if she just lost her best , "friend, you know I am here for you, it just doesn't sound right..." Lillianna cut her off, " what are you talking about?!" . Her heart began to beat so fast, before she knew it, tears began to swell in every part of her almond shaped eyes. "there is a rumor, that you let two gu.."., Megan couldn't finish her sentence before Lilianna began to shake her head and sob, "no, no, no, no, no that's not what happened, who told.....what.. where ?!" Lilianna started to cry and hold the sink as if it was the only thing keeping her from meeting the ground face first. Megan stopped and hugged her tightly and said, "I know Anna," Anna was Megans nickname her Lilianna, " I have known you since we were in kindergarten, I know you wouldn't... it was.... wasn't it. Your cousin is telling people that their was blood and she is still a virgin". How could Lilianna's life get any worst, a few months prior she experienced the worst trauma of her life, which caused her to lose her father and now this. She wanted to die, Megan grabbed the hard paper towel to wipe her friends tears.
"I know that David wouldn't do that to you, I remember when we were in elementary we used to joke of you two. Like you two were meant, but ______, he is mean and evil and he hurt me too..." Lilianna cried now uncontrollably, Megan joined in.. "Meg I'm sorry,,, I'm sorry..." , Megan held Lillianna's face up as she knew her friend felt guilty as if his actions were her fault, Megan knew the heart that Lilianna had. Megan knew she wouldn't tell have told her own brothers about what happened, with fear of them ending in jail or worst. She was a person that always just took it, rather she did something wrong or not.
Megan began to look at her friend and realized that Lilianna didn't have her own mother and her step mother was mean. Lilianna always took the blame, she knew her friend. "Lilianna, it is not your fault, he hurt me last year when he stayed a night with my older brothers. He told me if I said anything he would hurt my baby sister." They both began to cry, "he hurt me so bad, why is he so mean!" .. "Lilianna stopped crying "I never wanted that, he was with my cousin and then as David was on top of me kissing me" she started to cry, "I knew David would be my first, my first.. I wanted David...but then _____ pushed him of me and pulled my body to him.. something told me don't' fight..." she took one of the paper towels and blew her nose, "no one did anything not David, not my cousin, I couldn't move."
Lilanna began to cry again, "my whole body hurt Meg, I had seen myself laying on the bed, like I was a spirit, crying for myself, unable to move my body, I don't remember when I even came back.. or when it ended. I just remember my cousin trying to help me stand as I my body shook and blood came down my legs"... They both cried.
The bell rang, both girls were brought back to reality, it was the last year in middle school and they were going to make the best of it. Megan went and grabbed more paper towel and they both wiped their faces, trying to wipe away the trauma, wipe away the hurt they both experienced. Hugging each other Lilianna promised never to tell a soul about what Megan told her because she never would want her sister to be hurt.
As the young ladies prepared themselves to head to first period, they left the restroom knowing that what they told each other will never leave one another. However, Megan now had a larger sense of guilt, because she didn't or couldn't say anything, the devil was able to hurt again.
The dark reality is that silence can be death for someone. Please don't be afraid to speak.
Silence equals repetitive cycles, Silence equals depression, Silence equals death!!
Thank you for reading this ~ hit the heart if you would like more stories