With President Sanders, I Could Marry My Dog!

So, is it just me, or is beastiality a totally demeaning and insulting term? Both to the humans who enjoy it, and to animals in general. I mean, who is the beast in the equation? I know society isn't judging me and calling me a beast, yet referring to the animals as beasts is just short-sighted! Was Lassie a beast? Was Flipper a beast? I know for a fact the Taco Bell Chihuahua wasn't a beast, I've met him! Twice!

I will tell you who are some beasts though. Donald Trump there's a true beast. How about Vladimir Putin, Kim Jong Un, or Alyssa Milano? Are you going to try and argue they aren't heartless beasts? Don't tell me you think Jeffrey Dahmer, or Roseanne Barr, or Tucker Carlson aren't beasts! Human beings are the only predatory species that is capable of hunting its own, so why are we calling some of the planet's most loyal lifeforms beasts? Do dogs go to war with each other? Do dogs go on social media and meddle in elections? Do dogs molest children and threaten to kill them if they talk? No? That's right, humans do that. Every single miserable day.

It's just sad really. We, as a species, have been brainwashed for so long, we aren't even remotely close to our true selves anymore. I don't believe humans are meant to enjoy maiming, killing, robbing and raping the way we do, but is it any surprise we enjoy these things? I mean, no matter what part of the world you live in, Europe, America, or even Australia, the people there worship books which not only tell them they are bad to the bone, but that they can only become good by following rules. Rules of who to marry, who to love and who to kill. Rules of life which were only created to control people. Control us, to turn us into livestock. Well, my question is, if the human race is livestock, then why can't we marry livestock?

I bet you don't have an answer to that, and if you do, I bet it's wrong. Five bucks, and I bet another five you are too cowardly to take that bet. It is okay though, it isn't your fault you are a coward. Society has made you this way. It has made all of us this way. Which is why, not just in my opinion, but it is factually true, the only man we should be considering for President is the man who openly talks about bringing it all down. Donald Trump wants to vilify humans, make us scared so we keep to ourselves. He wants us to grow our nation by excluding others! But Bernie Sanders, he knows the only true evil in this world is government, which is why the only option is to have government control everything, so government stops being evil. Omnipotence and evil rarely go hand in hand, just like power and abuse of power rarely go hand in hand in systems where the citizens aren't completely brainwashed by the ultimate evil, religion.

Bernie, you see, he's a man who knows that love is love, regardless of who feels it. It doesn't matter whether it's a man's love for a woman, a woman's love for a woman, a man's love for a child, a fat person's love for gyro, or a woman's love for a zebra, love is love. Love is uncontrollable, unstoppable, and the only reason we are alive. Love is overwhelming, love is pure joy, and love is what Bernie feels 100% of the time. Can you even name a President who has ever felt love even once in his life? I know I can not. Side note, but I do feel a bit guilty assuming the gender of all of our past Presidents. Who knows how many of them were trans in secret!

Here is the thing everyone: animals can feel true love, honest to goodness love, which is why they are not beasts. Beasts do not feel love or compassion or anything like that, which is why you have men like every single Republican who ever lived, no exceptions. This is actually scientifically proven, that dogs feel love. It hasn't been proven however, that You know what, I just had an idea I think I will tweet Bernie. What if everyone was allowed to get married, except Republicans! We could "Make Marriage Great Again" by making sure the ultimate prerequisite to marriage always occurs, love! As opposed to using our money to marry young women who are barely fluent in multiple languages! Yes, that was an insult toward Donald Trump. And no, I don't actually believe we should stop Republicans from getting married. I mean, it might help our future generations, but it would be a dangerous precedent to set.

I really hope to see all dog owners, animal lovers and just smart people join with me this 2020, to elect a man who isn't just a man, but nearly a God, if Gods were real. Someone who understands that love is love, government is evil, and that the people must give all their control to the government in order to have any control themselves. With him as President, every single one of us can have a cabin by the lake, and someone special to share it with. Even if that someone special has paws instead of hands. Thank you Bernie Sanders, for giving me hope, pride and letting me know there is nothing to fear except the fear of love itself. I may have to hide like Anne Frank in an attic due Poochie's and I's feelings towards one another, but it is good to know those days are numbered. It is refreshing to know that one day, and one day soon, Bernie will fix the world, make sure there is no more poverty, no more murder, no more lack of bread and no more dogs trapped in a world where they can't marry humans. I'd say God bless you Bernie, but since God isn't real and we both have publicly said that before, I'll say DOG bless you Bernie!