Why I don't stand by Meghan's decision

Disclaimer: The opinions in this article are simply my own, I welcome a respectful exchange of ideas

A few months ago, Harry and Meghan shocked the public when they announced they were resigning from royal duties and retiring to 'private life'. Because of this decision, they were in the line of fire of multiple tabloids. A lot of celebrities, American, especially, came to their defence and all criticism aimed at the Sussexes was labelled as racist or anti-liberal.

Now, I don't believe I am either of those things; however, when I first read their announcement on Instagram I felt very disappointed and, well, angry. Why did I care so much? Why did I feel like I had to defend my opinions?

I got the impression that now Harry and Meghan have been cast as the good guys, finally getting the well-deserved rest they so longed for, and I felt completely misunderstood when I started ranting at the office the next morning. So let me list a few reasons, not just for my sake, but because I believe this situation is long overdue some constructive criticism.

1. First of all, let me just say that I welcomed the addition of Meghan to the Royal Family. an American, divorced woman, actress, someone who doesn't quite fit the bill. I was excited to see her slip into her new role and was hopeful hearing about all the humanitarian projects she was planning to put her efforts in. Instead, throughout her time as Duchess of Sussex, all I heard was contant complaining, culminating in a statement made during the (in)famous itv documentary Harry and Meghan: A Journey through Africa, during which she declared 'You know, now one's really asked how I am'. I thought that comment was completely out of place; she was technically at work (and I don't know about you, but I don't get upset because my colleague/client hasn't asked how I am today), supposed to inform people via the documentary, and she chose to complain about a personal problem. Journalists aren't required to ask how one is, they are required to write a story, and Meghan should have encouraged the real story to come forward. This way, the narrative shifted to them being the victims of the royal merry-go-round. Though I am certain this might not be their desired effect, having now detached their name from the Royal Family will make any future project of theirs 'The Harry and Meghan Charity' as opposed to being known for its cause.

I don't consider myself to be pro-monarchy, but I do acknowledge the Royal Family can be a diplomatic asset to a nation. If they do need to keep existing, the whole point of them is to shine a light on matters, and not to overshadow the work that people have put in.

2. The fact they felt the need to launch a website explaining the (vague) reasons as to why they decided to forsake their royal duties is, for lack of a better word, incredibly extra. Pages and pages gone live just trying to justify their renovations at Frogmore Cottage, and attempting to redefine their standpoint. Once again, it was apparent they felt trapped, victimised, by the Royal Press Team. Bottom line is, they did not get the deal they were hoping for, that's abundantly clear. A royal office wouldn't let them express in the way they wanted to. I suppose that is precisely the point. The point would be to present a united front and to be part of an institution. Which brings me to my next point...

3. Before meeting Harry, Meghan was a fairly famous actress. She was in her mid-to-late thirties. She wasn't exactly a stranger to fame and to life. I will go as far as to say that in trying and succeeding to become a Hollywood actress, she must have been comfortable with a certain level of fame in her life. I realise 'royal fame' is a whole other level, and, ultimately, not the kind of notoriety she wanted. However, she herself said she had been warned by multiple people of what marrying Harry would entail. I am sure romance played a big part in her decision, but I refuse to believe that she jumped into it completely clueless. I apologise if this may sound cynical, but is it so crazy to think that true love could also mean recognising your lives don't merge as well as you'd like them to? And since they decided to make it work, a decision which I totally respect, how can they seem so surprised at the fact they will have to make compromises?

4. That's why comparing Meghan to Diana doesn't make any sense. While Diana may have walked into her role as Princess of Wales with a certain dose of naivete, Meghan was a woman from another generation, more mature and more self-affirmed in life. Harry, now more vocal than ever, stating that the paparazzi killed his mother, and that he is not going to let his wife meet the same end, seems a bit oversimplistic. By no means I think Meghan's feud with her father had any place on newspapers and tabloid, and I believe any comparison made between her and Kate Middleton was nothing but distasteful. I am saying that they all (the Queen, Philip, Margaret, William Kate, and if you have watched The Crown I am sure you can add names to the list) got their share of bad publicity. They all have been subject to merciless judgement. And they all have kept going with their ever so politically correct endeavours. Of course, there have been other examples of Royal Family outcasts, and it may be that Meghan had it worse than all of them. I just don't think walking away after just about a year proves her point. Was such a short time enough to convice her she couldn't make any real change in the long run?

I am thinking of other notable women to have been the first at holding their post: Michelle Obama, first First Lady of colour, and now Kamala Harris, first South-Asian and Black Vice-President. Surely they have been the subject of scrutiny, surely and unfairly they have had to work, and will have to work twice as hard to prove themselves; what is inspirational about them is that they have continued, and will continue to work that hard and continue to be role models, because they are pioneers.

And here we are. I just wish Meghan had tried for a little bit longer. I have realised what I can't digest isn't her walking away from it all, but the way in which she has done it. Out of the blue, dissatisfied and bitter. Leaving us to wonder, where does Harry stand in all of this, really?

Though I am very well aware she is a person and not just a nice little placeholder to make us happy, I can't seem to be able to feel pity for her. I truly believed Meghan seemed ready and willing to be a pioneer too. We needed her.