Just The Headlines, No Bull.

I want to start off with an apology. My first "Just the headlines" post, was done after midnight, and I had intended it to be for the days news, preceding the post. Alas, it did not come off that way, and the dates looked wonky. So, this post, hopefully, corrects that. My intention is to do a quick "review" of the news top headlines, and a brief synopsis, if I contribute anything of import at all. Thank you.

Today I learned that sometimes, a little is not enough. I also learned that there are basically 10 different types of news. Political News, Celebrity News, Bad News, Corporate News, Bad Weather News, Murder News, Corruption News, Death News, Hate News, and More Bad News. I will attempt to group my news review into these sorts of categories because, we Americans LOVE to group things. In business it's called "targeting a key demographic", and in policing it's called "hate crime", regardless of whether the police are on the defensive end or the ones comfiting the crimes.

Oh, and I need a catchy phrase. Since I portray a pirate in some of my live streams for business, I'm going to make it a pirate related phrase. "So let's run this through!"

HATE NEWS

San Francisco to air Black reparations plan, $5M per person - WOW. I think this is on the high end, and used simply to grab our attention. Way to go Mass-Media! Apparently, hundreds of ideas are on the books, and they're hashing them out. Instantly making half a million people - not necessarily black people mind you - instant millionaires, would definitely pump a lot of money into the local economy!!! Nobody saves money anymore.

Stanford investigating after swastikas and a Hitler image are left on a Jewish student's door - And people say Racism doesn't exist. Who woulda thought?

Joe Biden says restricting transgender rights is 'sinful' in interview with 'Daily Show' guest host Kal Penn - Can't we just stop discriminating against people for their own personal choices? Enough is enough. But no, we're all assholes. If everyone was white, middle class, we'd have wars over hair length and eyebrow shape. Oh! Oh! Earlobes!

IRS tax audits ‘target and burden lower-income families,’ say tax experts. Well isn't that the kettle calling the kettle, the kettle! As if they didn't know this before...

CORPORATE NEWS

Tyson Foods to shut two US chicken plants with nearly 1,700 workers. Chicken! Read my story, The War On Chickens, and you'll understand.

Inflation: Consumer prices rise 6% over last year in February, slowest since Sept. 2021 - YAY! Let me make somethign perfectly clear. Companies bitching about Inflation, have the ability to CONTROL inflation. It's called "Self Control", which means, DON'T RAISE PRICES JUST BECAUSE WORKERS IN ANOTHER STATE GOT A HIKE TO MINIMUM WAGE! ASSHOLES!

Signature Bank, former CEO are sued by shareholders for fraud - Good. This is Good band news.

Venue issues first statement after GloRilla concert deaths. - People trampling people at a concert? Just people acting like animals, AGAIN. Oh, and there was not a fire to instigate the trampling.

Academy defends in memoriam segment after backlash over actors left out of Oscars tribute - Why? Boo-hoo for all those who got butt-hurt and started asking, "But what about so-and-so? But what about this person? Why didn;t you include this one?" It's a fucking tribute to some, not a list of all. Get the fuck over it. You want a list to include everyone, MAKE ONE! There are far too many deaths to list them all during the Oscars, and who the fuck wants that? They should do away with the tributes all together. Spin it off and call it "the ones we lost this year" and give them awards posthumously. There. Situation Solved.

CELEBRITY NEWS

Did Riley Keough lock Priscilla Presley out of Graceland? A look at the drama plaguing Elvis Presley's family. - Nobody cares. Oh, and, Hunka, Hunka, Burning Love!

Special prosecutor resigns from 'Rust' case after Alec Baldwin's lawyers call for her removal - Nobody cares. This shit show should come down to one thing. WHY was there live ammo on set? Whoever put it there, or allowed it, should be held responsible. The "prop" was a tool given to a person, and the person, used the prop, and it fired a LIVE ROUND and KILLED SOMEONE! If anything, Alec Baldwin should be suing the FUCK outta the entire production, and the state, for not having more stringent and safe LAWS in place to regulate this!

Gloria Estefan says it was the loss of her mother that finally got her into therapy: 'I needed it' - Nobody cares. Good for you.

Oscar winner Jamie Lee Curtis has been using these drugstore beauty products for decades - Nobody cares. Oh, and she's amazing.

LeAnn Rimes says appearing in 'Coyote Ugly' at age 17 'became a kind of introduction to my sexuality' - Nobody cares. Congrats!

Paris Hilton says she ‘pretended’ to vote for Trump in 2016: ‘I didn’t vote at all’ - Nobody cares. Your Vote is your vote. Oh, and, we don;t believe you for one fucking second.

Lindsay Lohan Is Pregnant, Expecting First Baby with Husband Bader Shammas: 'Blessed and Excited' - Congrats! Nobody cares.

Ashley Graham says 'kindness' is key after awkward interview with Hugh Grant - Nobody cares. Bless Your Heart.

BAD NEWS

Russia’s downing of US drone sparks fears of escalation, - Oh shit. But is this any different than what Russia normally does? Next, they'll be running a training exercise in Cuba, and say they have no intention of invading the USA, and we'll believe them, right?

Balancing federal budget in 10 years could require 41 percent cut to programs, when excluding Social Security: CBO - No shit.

Ohio sues Norfolk Southern over East Palestine toxic train derailment - Good shit. Sue each member of congress that voted to eliminate the restrictions that would have prevented this.

Would raising the retirement age to 70 save Social Security? - Nope. But the GOP want's that money!

Missing Texas teen found locked in North Carolina building - No shit. Thank your lucky stars, she was alive! She? Yeah, it was a female. As if this would be news otherwise.

POLITICAL NEWS

Schumer giving donations received from Silicon Valley Bank CEO to charity, - GOOD.

Trump suggests Pence to blame for Jan. 6 violence after former VP’s criticism - This guy. Fuck him, and fuck that sniveling lying pissant. You get to pick which one is which.

Trump vows to cut federal funding for schools teaching CRT or 'transgender insanity' - This guy. Leave schools alone. Jesus Christ, If Trump attended a real school for once, he;d know this shit isn't being taught. In fact, most schools still have text books from 1970's because they can't afford new ones, because politicians keep cutting their funding because when the kids become adults, they develop MORALS!

Ron DeSantis says protecting Ukraine is not a 'vital' U.S. interest - This guy. Fuck him, fuck his racist bullshit, his neo-nazi cover up act. Fuck him and his entire corrupt legislature. Yup, I'm getting paid you fucker! Nope, I'm not registering because this is AMERICA You asshole! I can type or say what I want, AND get paid for it! GO FUCK YOURSELF!

DeSantis bills on diversity, gender pass Florida committees - Fuck Ron The Satanist. This guy. Fuck him with a big BLACK rubber dildo. The only thing he's ever done right, is sip piss for a living.

Biden to reinforce background checks for gun buyers. - GOOD. I'm tired of criminally and certifiably insane people, killing innocent people! P.S. Mostly white middle aged guys, and kids doing the killing now-a-days!

Haley wants entitlement program changes for younger people - Of course she does. No better way to indoctrinate kids, than indoctrinating kids!

Republican senators push back on DeSantis for saying Ukraine isn't a key U.S. interest - - AWWW, did he go to far? Did another loud mouth neo-nazi white supremascist who says he's really not, go to far for the GOP? Well, he's JUST THE GUY FOR THE GOP TO NOMINATE FOR PRESIDENT ELECT!

GOP senators pushed to keep banking rules loose one week before SVB collapse - GOOD.

South Carolina GOP lawmakers propose death penalty for women who have abortions - GOOD. This way, the entire world will revolt against their dumb asses. Latest poll. 30% of America thinks Abortion should be illegal, but only 15% say there should be no exceptions for rape or incest. So were making law for 15% of the entire population, when 70% of America want's it legal. Yes, the 15% is HALF of the 30%. For all of you who have no clue how to do math, 70% + 30% = 100%

BAD WEATHER NEWS

Widespread power outages reported as feet of snow fall in the Northeast - We're fucked. Start bailing water mateys!

New atmospheric river pushes into swamped California - They're fucked. Head back! Back the other way!

Northeast winter storm shuts schools, knocks out power - Hurry! Faster, faster! Shit! We're frozen in place. Well, at least we're not sinking! Oh shoot. Spoke too soon!

DEATH NEWS

Former Rep. Pat Schroeder, pioneer for women's rights, dies - She did a lot of good while she was here. Thank you.

Autopsy: 'Cop City' protester had hands raised when killed. - Bad.

Biden says Jimmy Carter has asked him to deliver his eulogy - Ugly. He said this, and then stopped himself, saying he should not have said it. Well why open your mouth then!? Jesus Joe. Well, whatever. Just another gaff in a long list. It's okay. It's Metamucil time!