Fudge Pt. 2

It was dawn over Wightland; not that you could ever tell given the fact the town of Steamwood was subterranean. Our little town was formed during the golden age of piracy when a pirate crew led by Captain Saint set up a hideout in an undiscovered cave on the Isle of Wight. Over the years their little hideout became fishing village and son after a small town, it's hard to believe anyone could grow crops underground but here we are, the town has survived for centuries because no one knows we're here.

Captain Saint was never actually a pirate per se, nor a privateer. He was in fact the High Seas equivalent of Robin Hood. He'd rob from other pirates and rich merchant vessels and giving his plunder to those who needed it most. He was labelled a pirate for these actions and when pirates were being hunted down he knew he had to hide. The town only ever knew Captain Saint as 'The Captain'. He was the leader of the town as well as it's protector. He would stand watch from his office, known as the Crow's Nest, as he ran the town at the same time. Life however, doesn't like it when people try to cheat death. The Captain met his fate choking on an orange, he was actually having a heart attack and by way of fortune happened to be eating an orange at the time. As per his instructions his body was fed to his two pet sharks and his tricorn hat laid to rest in the pool his sharks occupied to await the arrival of the new Captain. The Captain was a big believer in fate, he knew the town would need a protector after he was gone but he had no idea who it would be. To this end he set in motion the wheels of fate. He decreed that one year after his death the town would hold a competition to see who was the heir to mantle of Captain. He stated in a town meeting that all men and women (The Captain was very progressive) between the ages of 16 and 20 would enter the challenge to see who could retrieve the tricorn hat from the bottom of the Shark Pool. The Captain knew that his sharks would know instinctively who the rightful heir would be and would avoid that person. The biggest issue he had was making sure his sharks didn't kill the others, so he spent the last few months before his unforeseen death training his sharks to retrieve people and throw them out pf the pool without killing them. It mostly worked, I mean occasionally people would end up with cuts and maybe the odd missing hand but no one would die.

Enter me, my name is Pickle. By way of fortune today just happens to be my 16th Birthday and the anniversary of the last Captain's death. Only I could have a birthday on Promotion Day. It's the 20th of November in the year 2220 and don't ask me how I know that because we don't have any calendars in Steamwood. We record time using the Solar Crystal, which for plot purposes is a large crystal in the ceiling of the cavern that somehow absorbs sunlight and shines it into the cavern giving the town a "blue ceiling" and the ability to grow crops in subterranean soil. It's an imperfect system but it's all we have seeing as we only eve go topside if there is a real need.

I'd like to say my 16th birthday started off on the right foot, regardless of whether it was promotion day or not, today I would be apprenticed into one of the jobs around town. In all fairness I'd rather be a farmer than The Captain. My day started out with my younger brother, Happy, jumping up and down on my bed screaming "Wake up Pickle, it's Promotion Day." Like I needed reminding. After deafening me and using my ribs as a trampoline, the little bugger run off down the stairs for breakfast. In his wake stood my father, Oak. Let me just say that naming conventions in Steamwood are a little unconventional. Most people name their child based on an attribute at birth, for instance I was born with subterranean jaundice so my skin was green hence the name Pickle. My brother was born with a smile so was named happy. Some people just refer to their child as boy or girl until such time as they have "earned" a name. In my father's case he was 12 when he got his name. Overnight he had gone from weedy little child to Mr Olympia, they said his arms were like Oak trees and from then he was called Oak. With a name like Oak you would expect to see him as a burly lumberjack or even as a farmer who could reap his crop with one swing of a scythe, but alas no, my father job is as the town's fisherman. No one like being the fisherman as it means leaving the safety of the cavern but in order to supply the town with food one must take on the risk. My father however loves being the town fisherman, no one can catch a haul like Oak can. In all fairness he's brought in some weird catches over the years.

If I may interrupt the story here for a second, I feel I should let you know that just because we live underground doesn't mean we keep up with current events, we do have radio. We know all about the government's ridiculous schemes. We know about the Atomic War of 2022. Our little community has weathered all storms, it takes some pretty big balls of steel to go scavenging or fishing when fallout is everywhere. The radiation had some weird effects on some of the wildlife here. Sometimes when they're desperate, a group of Crabbits (think a rabbit mixed with a crab) will swim into the cave looking for food only to end up being food. Still we have some weird looking sea life.

Getting back to our story; as I got up and out of bed my father, who takes up most of the room in the house, stood chuckling in the doorway. He looked down his nose and past his beard to me and said "Pay no attention to your brother, he get's excited at the prospect of a new pair of socks." I tried to stifle my laughter but my father knows how to make anybody in the town laugh, "What if I fail?" I asked in return. My father put his frying pan sized hands on my shoulders, looked me square in the eyes and said "If you fail, you can always become a librarian." I couldn't help but giggle. The town librarian, Biscetti (on account of his inability to say spaghetti), is as deaf as a post and slower than a sloth. You ask him for a book and he gives it to the person who comes in after you because, well he's lost his marbles.

After my dad let me go from his Kung Fu grip; we headed downstairs to get breakfast. My mother, Flora, cooks the best meals in Steamwood. Today she was serving the Captain's Special which consists of sausage, eggs, and cooked ralmon. Before you ask, we've had a farm for centuries so we can rear our own livestock. Ralmon is what we call salmon that has been exposed to radiation. It's a little bit bigger than you're average salmon but tastes amazing. "Eat up" my mother said as she laid my breakfast on the table, "One Captain's Special for Steamwood's new Captain." My mother tries her best, even if I don't want to be The Captain. In Steamwood, its not only an honour to be The Captain but it is also an honour for the family of the new Captain. In the history of our family we've never had a Captain, the others like to boast about how many Captains were in their families. You can see it on my dad's face when people remind him that our family has never had the honour. I ate my breakfast as quick as I could in hope that I would be bringing it up soon due to nerves. My father wolfed his breakfast down in one go, normally he doesn't take that long to eat his breakfast. My mother and brother took a little longer, Happy is usually fussy when it comes to eating and my mother won't leave the table until everyone's finished.

Soon after breakfast, we were off to the Town Square to partake in the Promotion Day celebrations. I was hoping that some radioactive monstrosity would burst up and break my legs but no such luck, we arrived at the Town Square without any intervention.