Dear Trump Supporter

Dearest Trump Supporter:

I know how a good many of you are feeling right now because I’ve been right where you are. I clearly remember the mad cycle of grief, anger, frustration, frustration, anger and grief that I tumbled in 4 years ago. I recall feeling like the world had been flipped upside down and turned suddenly hostile. It was hard to breathe, to think, to move. (I even took a personal day off from work because I was so depressed.) Social media became a mine field of people gloating, poking fun and showing their utter contempt for all I held dear. They laughed at and mocked my concerns, my discomfort and mostly my pain. They called me a “snowflake” and said things like “Suck it up” and “Awwww, your little feeeeeeeelings are hurt??” and more. My like-minded friends become safe havens, we shared a mad hope that it was all a bad dream or that the election would be overturned or that possibly aliens would come and take us to another more hospitable planet. It was a struggle to find sanity and any sense of safety or peace. Maybe some of you relate to this, maybe not…maybe some do but can’t yet admit it. I understand that too.

Today, I am holding my hand out to you in the spirit of good-will and compassion, one human to another. I am making a pledge to not to use this opportunity to kick you when you are down. I am going to do my best to stay away from gratuitous jabs and from rubbing your nose in your loss. I am going to retrain from calling you names and laugh at your “feeeeeeelings” because you need rail against what has transpired or to exercise your constitutional right to voice your outrage, your disappointment, your sense of injustice or even your belief that the only right outcome is the one you wanted. I’m promise to do my best to not take cheap shots or to repay you in kind for all the ways you did all of the above to me when I was in the same position. I do this because there’s been enough pain, enough vitriol, enough inhumanity and I’ve had my fill of the hatred and division. I want to use my freedom of choice to choose something better than continuing the spread of virulent political bigotry and widening the chasm between you and I.

Please, don’t get me wrong. I have no illusions about what you and I face going forward. I don’t have Pollyannic beliefs that some kind words and heightened awareness about my words or social media posts and their effect will change those who are hell bent on burning it all down (on both sides). But this here is not about them, this is about a movement towards a better “us” and a better U.S. It’s about reaching across the isle to those who want to reach back, and I believe many, many, MANY of you WILL reach back because you too want better days. You too crave reconciliation with your friends, your families and your neighbors that you have been at odds with, now that it is ok to entertain such thoughts and hopes and the constant screaming and stoking of the fires of hate are winding down. The smoke will soon clear and we will have to assess the damage. We may find ourselves looking at each other over the rubble and saying “It wasn’t worth it. How do we fix it?” together. This is my small way of stepping into that process. I am hoping many more join in this effort and I believe they will. I know I can not be the only one with this on their hearts at this juncture in history. Spirit is neither Red or Blue, and I believe it can carry us above our division and resentments to higher ground.

You may not see it now, but you have quite the opportunity for transformation ahead of you. I know because my own pain and disillusionment transformed ME (and still is) and I know your pain can transform you too, should you choose to rise to the occasion. I believe you and I have so much to learn from each other, so many more things to do besides cycle through the same old resentments and bitterness every 4 years. I believe the stakes are much higher than merely winning or losing an election right now, they are about winning or losing our connection to our own humanity. Isn’t it about time we discover together what is beyond the pettiness, bigotries and fears we have been stuck on generation after generation?

I will most likely not fulfill this promise perfectly and I apologize ahead of time. I’m not a saint, I get heated and say things I regret. I may have grown but the sting of the last 4 years is still fresh and it may pop out sideways from time to time. I do promise to be aware of it when it happens, to clean up my messes and to continue to be committed to this pledge. I promise to do my best to not be the person you were to me when I was where you are now and to be the person my own lessons have made me into. I vow to lay down my rock and turn in my tickets for the cheap seats that come at your expense.

“He jests at scars that never felt a wound” -Shakespeare

NW

11.7.20