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You may not be depressed, just drained.

What my summers home from college taught me.

By Norman WillisPublished 3 years ago 6 min read
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Environment. It’s something that’s often overlooked when discussing happiness, success, the future, etc. But it’s one of the most important factors in someone’s life. A persons environment can be the difference between them becoming everything that they have on their vision board or something out of a horror movie! Yet when brought up, it’s often looked at as an excuse.

“It was my environment”. “I didn’t have the opportunity.” “I didn’t know anyone that did this where I lived.” All of these things and more (when said) get pushed under the rug for people when they express their needs, yet I personally saw what happens when people who actually are given resources, what they become, who they can help, and how close they are to what they want to be in life. So is your environment an excuse or is it the truth? I think the answer lies somewhere in the middle.

You can become successful in a neglected environment. You can do amazing things with little to no resources. I know people personally that have overcome the odds and are success stories. We see it all the time. But what I do know is that environment can sometimes be the bridge between being someone who has the potential to do great things and the person that actually does it. We see it in everything from relationships, jobs, heck even sports. Here (example)"the last pick in the draft becomes MVP once he/she was traded to the Lakers or the Patriots or championship team. "But this brings me to the point and purpose of this article. Below I will share my experiences and how I realized just how important environment was for me and how to notice when you're drained and what to do about it.

The year was 2013 I believe. I had just transferred colleges and moved a few hours away from my hometown. I grew up in Ohio. When I was younger it seemed like a pretty good place to live, but as I grew older I started to see it in a different light. Once I was exposed to people that had achieved a different level of success, I no longer saw things the same way when I returned home. In Cleveland, at least back then and in my opinion, all that was there was factory work and death and I just couldn’t let that reality deep into my life. And I think that I can speak for most students once they go off to college...once you go you have no choice but to grow and see life differently.

When the summer arrived I had the choice of staying at my college or going back home. I chose the latter after being urged to come home (I have no idea why). So instead of staying away with my friends, maybe getting a summer job, I decided to go back home...which was a horrible idea.

After spending a few months to a year away from Cleveland, I had forgot the amount of destruction that I had been away from. It wasn’t until I drove back into my old neighborhood that I realized that I was returning to everything that I had worked so hard to get away from. I kid you not, at my college I felt comfortable enough to leave my car open at night, but back home my ex girlfriends car was vandalized in the matter of ten minutes. At college I would often go on walks at 3am and never thought anything of it. Every night when I was home I either heard cop sirens or domestic violence!

It didn’t take long, but my family started to notice a change in me whenever I would come home for longer than a weekend. I would be happy the first day, but after that I became irritable, aloof, and quiet. I stayed in my room for most of my Cleveland visits and if I wasn’t speaking somewhere, I did nothing. Most of my peers that never left home noticed the divide too. We had simply grown apart. We had nothing in common but our age.

When the summer came to a close and I was getting back in my car heading back to school I noticed something. The further that I got away from Cleveland the better I started to feel. As soon as I made it on the highway the knot in my stomach disappeared and I started to smile. I looked in the mirror and said " what was that about" (referring to my behavior back home). I was this young person with a positive future, I wasn’t some aloof person that was angry at the world, I was simply in an environment that I had outgrown years ago! I was not depressed, just drained.

There is no worse feeling than being in the prime of your life ready to take on the challenges of the world and everyone around you is either complaining about money, complacent, having a kid every two weeks or trying some get rich quick scheme. The reason that it felt like there was a magnet pulling me down every time I returned home is simply because I had moved on. A lot of the people that were around me didn’t know what was going on is because they had never left and pursued a life outside of where they grew up. They were comfortable. Cleveland made them happy and that’s great, but to me I hated the place because I had seen more.

If you find yourself in the same situation simply ask yourself when did I start feeling like this and what is keeping me in this situation? In my case, I simply just made a bad decision and listened to people that were telling me to come back, but after I experienced that I said I wouldn't do that anymore.When I actually did talk to some of my peers that had to return home for the summer they would tell me how they felt and I would ask are you sad when you're in Miami? Are you sad when you're in Atlanta for the weekend? Usually their answer was no. Then we came to a conclusion. I am in no way trying to downplay the reality of depression, but in some cases the difference or reasons we feel sad or alone or stagnant is simply because of what and who we are around. I have felt more happiness around the friends that I gathered in college and beyond than the ones that I knew beforehand. The people that I met from San Francisco have provided more value than the ones that constantly ask me when am I coming back home? Our environment plays a significant role in our lives and even though it's possible for anyone to achieve success, it's more obtainable when you're on a winning team and environment. Please, if you think you may be depressed seek help, and by all means never visit Cleveland Ohio lol. But in all seriousness, feeling drained your entire life or just for any amount of time is too long, and it's only a sign dignifying that you deserve to have more. I hope everyone finds their peace and proper environment. Thanks for your time.

coping
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