You ARE Enough

I know. I know. It may not feel like it right now. You may be friendless, unemployed, in existence mode, or feeling absolutely stuck. You may think you are too ugly for a relationship, too stupid to pass school, too worthless to deserve space in the world, but stop it.

You are enough.

Stop telling yourself that you’ll never get anywhere in life. You are the one creating the friction you experience most of the time. Your boss was the jerk for firing you. It says nothing about your skills. You don’t have to be perfect. Yes. Let me repeat that.

You do not have to be perfect.

I know it may seem like everyone else is better off than you, but you gain nothing by comparing yourself to others. Other than the pain of knowing you can never be them. And that pain only makes your life harder. You can be the best you out there, but that doesn’t mean perfection. It means you’re trying.

You’re trying your best.

It’s okay to be a little lazy somedays. Productivity isn’t a good idea when your mental health is in the toilet. You want your work to be the best it can be, not rushed out and sloppy. I know you may think you’re only worth it if you’re doing something every day, but that’s just not true. Even the most successful people in the world have their off-days.

Define success in your own way.

Some people are slower than others and that’s okay. I know I am and I get made fun of for that all of the time, but you can’t let it get to you. This is why success has to be subjective. You may view success as simply getting out of bed in the morning and, for many people, that’s extremely hard to do. Take your own little successes and cheer yourself on when others won’t.

When others won’t recognize you.

What if I do so much for other people? Why don’t they appreciate me for it? I’ve got news for you, friend. You’re a people pleaser. That’s okay. I am, too. But no matter how much you do for others, even if it’s small things like cleaning the kitchen, washing their laundry, or picking up their stray papers, they’re under the impression you do these of your will. That you’re happy to do these things because you always do it. Well if you can’t handle the load anymore, slow down. Stop doing things for people when you know they don’t need it and don’t appreciate it.

Appreciation.

Everyone wants to feel like someone wants them, but, this is the hard part that even I have yet to internalize, you have to want you first. I know. After years of telling yourself the nastiest things imaginable, it’s hard to come back and say, “Wait. Maybe I am lovable. Maybe I do have what it takes.”

Being kind to yourself.

This is the hardest step, but you need to do it. Other people will be mean to you, ridicule you, make sarcastic jokes about you, and so on. Brushing these things off is hard enough, but it’s even harder when you already talk to yourself with negative language. Next time you hear your brain say, “You stupid piece of sh*t. You’ll never amount to anything.” Say, “Shut up! Why are we saying this? Does this help me?”

It’s extremely difficult.

Learning to stop screwing yourself over is a years-long process. I think we’re taught from a young age that punishing ourselves is the only way to grow, but that’s just not going to help you. Ever. You have to look at yourself the way your favorite person would. Yes, they may think you’re slow, silly, and maybe a little flawed, but they still care for you nonetheless.

You are enough.

Welcome back to square one. I know the journey was tricky, but you have to admit it was much better than continuing to spiral down and down until you’re crying and you feel like the whole world is on fire because your chest burns and it feels like breathing is becoming even more a challenge with every heave… remember that felling and these three little words. It can really be any words you need to remind yourself that, yes, things suck right now, but I have something to come back to once my mind is ready.

Doomspiraling is probably the worst feature of depression. I'd like to say that I'm not a therapist and I don't have all the answers, but as someone who has suffered with it for a long time, I'm comfortable that I know what it can feel like. I'm still trying to talk myself down most of the time, but this is also a situation of practice. It's hard to change these things, but it's crucial because continuing to bully yourself is just the easiest way to convince yourself there's no point anymore. Hugs!