Will You Defeat Them?

Freedom. It feels like flying, like being able to run, and just keep running with no one to tell you when to stop or that you've gone far enough. It's the feeling of sunlight on your face as you smile at the sky, its the feeling of rain hitting your skin for the first time in far too long, inspiring you to dance.

There is so much joy and pain in this world, and there are many demons and monsters to fight, often times, they are the ones we create in our own heads. Fighting them isn't easy, and often times we feel that we are alone, but, are we truly ever alone? Can we not create saviors, when we create monsters?

My savior showed up in the form of music. I would listen to 'emo' bands constantly, allowing their words to wash over and through me. When exactly my savior showed up I couldn't say, I guess he's always been there in retrospect, but he made himself known when I needed him the most. He was there when my father would belittle me, he was there when my father's girlfriend told me that I was doing something wrong, and he was there the night I tried to end it all. Not once has this friend left my side, and I know that you, yes you, the person reading this, have the same friend I do.

His name is Hope, though he goes by many titles. (I'm pretty sure he does anyways, my hope calls himself Marcher.) He taught me two very important things, the first of which is that Depression is an emotion, and a very strong one at that, but an idea is much stronger than any emotion imaginable. The second thing he taught me, is that "Love and Hope are two of the most powerful things you can have; one will give you the strength to keep going, the other will give you something to live for.".

He never vanishes, never leaves completely, and I know that at times it may seem as though that glow he carries may be going out, but believe me, you're stronger than you think. That light will never go out, if you don't let it go out. I can't explain how to have hope, even when you're at your darkest point, but I can tell you this, he'll be there with a hand out to you. When someone smiles at you, when someone asks if you're okay, when someone knows that you're not okay but they refuse to leave your side; that's hope, that's love.

I was trapped in a very dark place, and I know that others have gone through much worse than I have, but we all have one thing in common; we survived. And if we didn't have that spark, that warm white glow, coming from that little idea, we wouldn't have made it this far. Always, always have hope, because no matter how cliché it sounds, it does get better. Just keep holding on.

When you break free from the things that hold you down, when you tell yourself 'no, I am not worthless'; you have hope right beside you, and he'll carry you when you feel like you can't walk anymore. It takes time, and that's okay, don't be too hard on yourself, there is no rush to get better. Have hope, have a little faith, learn to break the chains that bind you to whatever it is that makes you feel like you're broken. You're not broken, you're not worthless, there is nothing wrong with you.

Soon, you'll be feeling the ground beneath your feet as you run, you'll feel the wind in your face, you'll feel like you could fly because suddenly this great weight will be lifted. Keep going, you can do it. I believe in you.

Stay strong.