Why You Should Treat Yourself The Way You Treat Others

We’re always told to treat others the way we would want to be treated. But, have you ever heard someone tell you to treat yourself the way you treat others. If you haven’t, don’t worry; I’m here to tell you that now.

So, here’s the thing. Presumably, we all know how to treat others with respect, dignity, kindness, and compassion. I think it's (hopefully) safe to say that we’ve reached a point where we treat others properly, especially those we love. We shower those we love with compliments, encouragement, and provide them a safe place with unconditional love and kindness. But, can we say the same thing about ourselves? Do we treat ourselves the same way?

It’s safe to say we do not.

Ever heard the saying “you are your own worst critic”? Well, it's true. We inspect ourselves relentlessly. We are constantly examining, searching, and picking at ourselves. We barely notice pimples on our friends when they complain about their skin, but will stare at ourselves in the mirror until we find a pimple. We assure others the grade they received was great and yet when we get that same score, we beat ourselves up for it. It’s one thing to have high expectations for ourselves, but it's another to treat yourself the way you would treat your worst enemy. It’s another thing to spread kindness to everyone yet grow plants of hate, self-doubt, and constant criticism within yourself.

It’s one thing to have high expectations for ourselves, but it’s another to treat yourself the way you would treat your worst enemy.

I’ve dealt with this subtle form of hypocrisy in varying phases of my life. I’ve relentlessly compared myself, recited hate speech to myself, and believed I wasn’t good enough. Meanwhile, I encouraged my friends to practice self-care and love and told them that they were amazing and capable of anything they put their minds to.

So why do we treat ourselves so differently? Mainly because we experience a disconnect between our feelings and self. We fail to realize that just because the harsh words we are hearing are from ourselves doesn’t mean they won’t affect us. Because they do.

Mainly because we experience a disconnect between our feelings and self

It’s kind of the same way we wouldn’t be mean to or call people we meet bad names but we are absolutely ruthless to our siblings. Subconsciously, we forget that our siblings and ourselves can be hurt by us. We forget that the hurt we inflict on ourselves is also hurt. It doesn’t take an external influence or stimuli to be bullied; sometimes all it takes is ourselves. We need to recognize and realize the importance of that.

We forget that the hurt we inflict on ourselves is also hurt.

So, I invite you to unlock the key to happiness: treat yourself the way you treat others.

The first step to realize the ways that you mistreat yourself. What things do you do that you wouldn’t do to anyone else? It can be subtle things like refusing to acknowledge your accomplishments and it can be larger things like putting yourself down when you make a mistake. Recognize those things and how harmful they can be to you.

The second step is to turn the negative treatment into positive treatment and ask yourself if you were a friend, how would you treat them? If you made a mistake, ask yourself how you would comfort a friend who was upset about the same mistake. You wouldn’t berate them; you would comfort them and let them know that mistakes happen and that now they have learned a lesson.

The second step is to turn the negative treatment into positive treatment and ask yourself if you were a friend, how would you treat them?

Every time you interact with yourself in a negative way, ask yourself “would I treat my best friend like this”? If the answer is no, then you need to focus on turning that negative treatment into positive treatment.

It is odd that when we interact with ourselves we don’t see ourselves as people with feelings. We treat ourselves like punching bags and sponges. But, if we start treating ourselves the way we treat others, we can experience opportunities for growth and opportunity.