Why You Should Never Call a Suicide Hotline

This is going to be a controversial article, but no one else seems to be talking about this.

Every year, around the holidays, I notice an increase in the number of commercials and advertisements for suicide hotlines.

It's understandable. Suicide is considered a leading cause of death in the United States and claimed over 47,500 lives in 2019.

There are multiple advertisements advising people experiencing suicidal thoughts to call certain helplines throughout the year and those advertisements become more prevalent during the holiday season.

This is probably due to the fact that most people believe that the number of suicides increases during the holidays, even though that has been proven to be a myth.

Depression

Depression is an awful disease. I've suffered from depression since childhood and there really is no good way to describe it. You can find definitions of it and first-person reports of what it's like, but until you've experienced it, you'll never truly understand it.

There's a level of despair that you reach when you're depressed. It genuinely feels as though there is no point in being alive. It's hard to explain to someone who's never experienced it, but I'm going to try with an analogy.

Say that everyone in the world participates in fishing. Every day, everyone goes outside to fish. Some people catch a lot of fish. Some only catch a few and others catch none.

Say that you have never caught a fish. You've gotten bites a few times but never managed to reel it in. How long would you keep fishing? A few days, or a few years?

That fish is happiness. Some people experience a lot of happiness throughout their days, some experience a little, and others experience none. If you never experience happiness then how long are you going to keep trying?

I'm not advocating for suicide.

That would be incredibly stupid. But I am advocating against calling these suicide 'help' lines.

Incarceration

The definition of incarceration is, "the state of being confined in prison; imprisonment."

The definition of imprisonment is, "the state of being imprisoned; captivity."

And the definition of captivity is, "the condition of being imprisoned or confined."

Now, to my understanding, being held against your will in a certain space meets the definition of captivity.

When you call a suicide hotline, whoever answers has one goal. That goal is to keep you on the phone until they can get your address and send the police to you. That's it.

Their goal isn't to talk to you until you feel better. The goal isn't to offer you support. It's to imprison you.

I've called a suicide hotline twice in my life. In both incidences, they sent the police to me without my consent. The first time I naively gave away my address, thinking they were going to give me a list of counselors or support groups in my area.

The second time I didn't give out my address. I guess they tracked my phone.

Once the police arrived, we waited for an ambulance. Then I was forced into the ambulance, into the psyche ward of the nearest hospital, and then transferred to an actual psychiatric hospital.

I lied and lied through my teeth both times about how I didn't actually feel suicidal until they let me go.

I kissed the doctor's asses, agreed with everything they said, took whatever cocktail of pills they prescribed me, and kept my head down until I was allowed my freedom.

I was so shaken after the first experience that I never went back to therapy.

After the second experience, I stopped talking about my mental health struggles to anyone, ever. It didn't feel safe to do so anymore.

When you are forcibly taken somewhere and held against your will it completely dehumanizes and demoralizes you. That is the exact opposite of what someone who is calling those helplines needs.

Treated like a criminal

People who are struggling with mental health problems should not be treated as criminals. It shouldn't be legal to lock us up for experiencing depression or a panic attack. But it is.

When I see those advertisements I cringe as some of my worst memories flash through my mind.

Sitting in a paper-thin hospital gown, shaking with horror and overwhelmed with fear after being pulled out of my home and told I was being admitted to the hospital with no say in the matter. All because I reached out for help.

I was dealing with severe agoraphobia the second time, which made this experience even more traumatizing.

It's more common than you realize

This forced treatment happens more frequently than most people would probably assume. I've met plenty of people who have had the same unfortunate experience.

It does nothing to help the person suffering. It only adds to their suffering. There have even been studies about whether or not it's ethical to force a psychiatric hold on a suicidal patient.

And the results have been inconclusive at best. Here's what one study concluded.

However, there was an ambivalence regarding the issue of suicide as it was also argued that risk of suicide in itself might not be sufficient for justified involuntary care. It was moreover argued that organisational factors sometimes led to decisions about compulsory treatment that could have been avoided, given a more patient-oriented healthcare organisation.

What to do instead

If you're in a bad place mentally then the last thing you need is to be taken and held against your will somewhere. But there are places where you can reach out and receive genuine help.

The mental health subreddit is a great community of people who are struggling and trying to help each other. Seriously, you can meet some amazing people there.

I don't hear it come up very often anymore but I've personally used Tumblr a lot during my darkest times. I've made great online friends there and found a real community of people who want to help each other.

Tumblr is where I learned about this next website. I heard about it literally a decade ago and it took me forever to find for this article. It's called 7Cups. It's a place where you can go to talk about your problems and receive support. Or, if you're in a better place now but remember what it was like and want to give back you can volunteer to listen and talk to others who are going through a hard time. This website may have saved my life when I was younger.

Additionally, this website has a list of 9 places you can go online to connect with others when you're struggling with your mental health.

Of course, if you're comfortable, you could try to talk to someone you know and trust. I've never had much of a support system so finding these online resources made a significant difference for me.

Final Thoughts

Mental health struggles can be absolutely brutal. It can tear you down and disconnect you from the world. I still have trouble relating to people around me because of the things I've struggled with. Their lives have been so different. We are not the same.

But there is real help out there. There are people who will genuinely try to help you and offer you advice. I do recommend therapy, it helped a lot when I was younger.

There is real help out there. I don't want others to fall into the same trap that I did when calling these hotlines.