Psyche logo

Why I Go to Therapy

Because apparently people just have to know, and why it doesn't seem like it's working.

By Crystal Van HigginsPublished 6 years ago 3 min read
Like

Why do people go to therapy, really? To sort out grief. To work out dilemmas and move on. Maybe to get closer to someone or over someone. There are so many reasons one would need therapy. Mine is to have a voice and to actually be heard. OK. That's it. Well, not exactly.

I go to therapy for a few reasons. I go because of my moods. Being bipolar with ADHD and narcolepsy sucks. I can never tell what's affecting me when, and for my fragile psyche—it's really hard to "stay together." I was never one to be called emotionally stable, and he keeps note of it. I started going to him after a really bad manic episode and was pretty much ditched by my previous therapist.

I go because of insight. An unexpected reason, but it is one. My therapist has noticed things about me that I never noticed in myself like my speech patterns or how I have to justify myself... like now for example. I find it to be an educational experience when that happens, and I like it. He points out characteristics I don't really want to acknowledge, but I have to in order to get past an obstacle or accept it as part of me.

I go because of stress. I have lousy coping skills. Stress eats me up quickly and makes horrible things happen to my chronic illnesses that get triggered by stress. Talking to him helps de-stress. I tend to feel better that way every time I leave because I finally vented.

I guess that goes to show I go because I want to be heard. Communication is hard for me verbally. A lot of fights happen because whenever I say something like I'm hurting or an opinion, someone gets defensive or compares me to someone else, which makes me feel like it minimizes the problem. I get upset and defensive and yet I'm the bad guy. I can't finish what I'm saying or just don't say anything at all because I figure, "What's the point? Someone had it worse, so suck it up."

He allows me to get it all out, saying a few times that I speak like the other person is there. I told him that it helps me get the words out. I can talk mostly well when I don't feel like someone is going to attack me because I offended them somehow. I go to therapy because that's where I have a voice. Where I'm allowed to be myself and it's okay.

I wouldn't say he's "holding my hand" or "enabling my behavior," he's more like a confidant that my insurance pays for. He has been helping me in ways people around me don't really see. It's because I think things thoroughly, a trait that people don't really like about me but I like about myself, over and over until I figure out what to do with it and how to use it with the best of my abilities. Going to therapy has saved me many times in my life and I am so thankful for it.

therapy
Like

About the Creator

Crystal Van Higgins

All I want is to be heard. Having untreated ADHD gives me a lot to say.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.