Why Don't Others Change for the Better?

All of us have blamed others at least once, even the most mature ones. For example, someone might say, "I haven't accomplished anything in my life because of my partner." Similarly, some others may attribute their traits and behaviors to their parents long after they have left home. Of course, some complaints can be dealt with moreover this doesn't mean others will get tired of us. Although, in the end, It has nothing to do with them. Blaming others makes us unhappy and causes pain in the long run because we empower them to control us even when they don't ask for it. We become everybody's victims.

The most important lesson that we must learn is to take responsibility for our happiness. This entails overcoming obstacles even though others sometimes try to hinder us. To accomplish this, we must realize that we choose our life decisions. And focusing our attention on others leads to failure. The same is true for our wish to influence others to change.

It is a waste of time to make people change for our satisfaction. In the process, we will become unknown to ourselves since our lives, goals, actions, and expectations are centered on others.

We must become aware of our flaws and the factors that lead to undesired outcomes in our relationships. There is no such thing as the one to blame. For instance, I picture people tripping over the same stones in their love lives. What duty do they have in such difficult circumstances? Seeking professional help to learn more about the individuals they have chosen and the underlying needs and desires that were satisfied by that choice. I know it is not easy to realize that there is always something we do wrong when dealing with problems in our relationships, but accepting this helps us get to know ourselves more.

I'm convinced that we can only alter ourselves. But change could necessitate a substantial amount of work of any kind. For example, if I don't like my job because of my employer, one of my options is to change jobs. If I don't like where I live, I must move. Whatever change we intend to achieve must be made in our surroundings, circumstances, and ourselves. That is to say, from us to us.

I understand that sometimes we can't leave people or things behind because they are family or important to us. In this case, we have tools to prevent our relatives from harming us. In this sense, internal changes are most effective because, paradoxically, they cause our environment to change. After all, when we change within, we begin to respect and love ourselves, which others see and cannot do less than the same. Nevertheless, achieving them involves taking responsibility for ourselves in every aspect of our lives.

The rewards changing can bring are worth it in the end - freedom, satisfaction, self-esteem, and more. But if we don't want to change, which is acceptable, we can stop blaming others for what we are responsible for. The least we can do for ourselves is know our good and bad character traits, wishes, and incentive motivations and set boundaries for others to live in a safe and comfortable environment.

In conclusion, when we feel terrible about someone or something, the best we can do is think about what we can change about ourselves. To make a change can be as simple as talking to people about how we feel about their behavior or as complex as spending years in a psychotherapist's office because why should others change if they don't feel the need?