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Why do “Starting afresh” should be about a big move?

by Bérengère Balteau 7 months ago in selfcare
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Because it really shouldn't.

Starting afresh, what an excellent concept. I used to idealise the very idea of packing my belongings and flying away to start anew. It would always be somewhere where I knew no one, and no one knew me. And If I am being frank with you, I would always fly to New York in my fantasy. Because as a European, I have been fed with another concept: New York is where all the dreams come true. So, I will admit it, when writing this article, sitting down at my desk, in my bedroom, the same one I have slept in since my childhood, I dream of New York. I dream of feeling this starting afresh feeling.

Yet, as Carrie Bradshaw keeps saying (don’t mind me, I have always wanted to quote her in one of my articles), “I couldn’t help but wonder….” Why do I firmly believe that starting afresh has to be a big event?

If we think about it, a day has twenty-four hours, and when those hours come to an end, it is the beginning of a new day. When the sun rises up in the morning, it is not only the beginning of a new day, but the beginning of a unique chance to… yes, you guessed it right, to start afresh.

Yet, as humans, constantly fearing the future, we perhaps need little reminders of the beautiful new beginnings. Today, I will be therefore sharing a few of mine.

1. My therapist told me, “You have to go back to what makes you forget time itself.”

I have recently started to see a therapist again because it was time for me to face some deep-rooted fears and problems that held me back for so long. It is hard for me to open up about specific subjects. Yet, I did find it easy to realise in her presence that I had lately left aside some creative outlets that used to make me genuinely happy. When going back home that day, I had this weird feeling inside me that screamed for me to acknowledge it:

Starting afresh is sometimes going back to things, places, people that make you happy, genuinely happy. So I turned on my laptop and did it.

2. Planning my week ahead

During my first years of university, I used to go about my day, week and month without thinking ahead and planning the work that I needed to do. If only I knew how mistaken I was, I would have changed everything from the start, and it would show in my grades. But Life is Life; the past shall remain in the past. During my Last year of Master, I have discovered how planning and organisation was actually the key to greatness for me. Not only do I need a bit of structure in my day, but reminders that leave me feeling fulfilled when going to bed at night.

I know that planning one’s day can be pretty confusing as to why I consider it starting afresh. And yet, I personally find the idea of knowing what I have to do – well, I just find it a bit comforting.

3. Searching for a job

Do not get me wrong, searching for a job is awful. I hate it as much as I love it at the same time. However, I am only at the beginning of my career, fresh out of university, as one would say. Therefore, I do not have any other choice but to search for a job. Getting rejected or ghosted by companies is not funny. And yet, applying for jobs that ignite dreams inside me is exciting. It is perhaps bigger, scarier than the rest of this list, but it is still part of starting afresh.

4. Sunsets

The logical thing for me to say should have been: sunrises. And yet, I cannot help but think about sunset when the notion of starting afresh occupies my mind. When I worked in the south of France during a summer a few years ago, I used to go every night, when I was not working, above the beach, to sit on a cliff and watch the sunset on the sea. I would either take a book with me, music or simply nothing. I would sit there for what seemed like hours.

I always felt like this moment gave me back the energy I consumed throughout my day. It left me the opportunity to breathe and pause and hit the button: Start afresh.

5. Re-starting my Poetry Instagram

Is there anything better than starting something again, but with the primary purpose: You’re doing this for yourself and only yourself…. So, is there? (Probably)

Yet, for me, starting my poetry account again, from scratch, is purely a blessing. I am doing myself such a favour by taking off my shoulder the pressure of doing this for others. Do not get me wrong, I love sharing my poetry; I love hoping that my words will resonate with someone one day.

Yet, I have stopped for weeks to post new poems because everything felt wrong with my account. I had come to realise: This is not why I started writing poetry in the first place. The purposes, the feelings shared in my words, felt drowned in an aesthetic that felt pointless.

So, what changed?

I’ve cut the pressure of doing a certain aesthetic, one that actually did not really fit my poems. Instead, I’ve chosen four shades of green that makes me smile. I’ve given the aesthetic of my account a more simple and effective aspect. One that fits me and my poems better.

And now, well, I can’t wait to share more poems.

If you are reading this, it means that I have done a pretty decent job. Therefore, I want to thank you for reading my article and supporting the dream that was implanted in my heart years ago. I am not yet the writer I aspire to be, but I guess it is a good start to... start anew.

With all my love,

B.

If you are interested to read more of my pieces...

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About the author

Bérengère Balteau

And I have spent hours wondering what to write here but, just like the sailor, I too, have found myself lost but always on my way. So I write, hoping that one day, my words will reach the red light above the cliff, and perhaps I'll know.

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