When Your Brain Is Your Own Worst Enemy

There are times when it feels like your mind is your own worst enemy, and there are times when it is.

As well as many others, I want people who feel like this to know that they're not alone, and also to know that they are not going mad.

To feel trapped in your own mind and body is totally normal, not okay, but normal, and it affects way more people that you might think, and it affects them in different ways.

Two people may be suffering with anxieties and paranoia, though one of them may find comfort in a dark room, whilst the other might find comfort in a crowded place.

Mental illness knows no stereotypes, so why is there such a huge stereotype associated with it? Bipolar disorder is different from anxiety disorder, and anxiety disorder is the polar opposite of depression. So why do we all get grouped together as soon as one of these key words are spoken?

We all have anxiety, and that's one of the things that makes us human. It is our body's way of telling us that something isn't right and we need to remove ourselves from a certain situation. It becomes a disorder when our body gives us these warning messages during everyday tasks. Whether it be choosing which bread to buy in the supermarket, or deciding whether to leave your job, the effect on the body and mind is exactly the same as it would have been in the time when we were faced with a lethal predator in the wild.

So why is society so quick to judge when we see someone experiencing a basic primative reaction? Because we don't like the unknown.

We are creatures of habit and routine, no matter how sporadic someone may seem, there will always be key things in their life that remain the same. Whether it be their wardrobe, their food choices, their vices, their ideas, their hairstyle, their morning routine... We all have something which we keep the same, and the routine remains unaltered. It is often this routine, that keeps us grounded. Getting a routine certainly helped for me when I was severely agoraphobic.

When we encounter something that is alien to us, we close up and want to run away. We ignore pressing things, hoping they will go away. In my opinion, this is where anxiety stems from. Please do not misunderstand, I do not mean to say that it's self-induced, however, my point is that loneliness breeds loneliness. To feel alone or to keep ones problems to oneself, means that either we brood on them, or they're never addressed, and therefore manifest slowly into something far more sinister.

I have recently lost somebody very dear to me, and it seems that anybody else I counted on has scurried away. I have received all of the stereotypical condolence messages and the "I'm always here if you need to talk", but as the cliche goes, actions speak louder than words. Not one of these people have knocked my door with a bottle of wine and just wanted to see if I'm okay.

If you are reading this, and you know of somebody who may need a friend, please don't let anything stop you from asking when you can see them. And keep asking!! They may brush you off at first and say that they will get back to you, but keep asking.

Finding the balance between persistence and support is hard, but I know for sure that if I was worried about somebody, I would rather they knew I was an option, that sit alone thinking nobody cares.

It has helped me to share my thoughts here, and I hope that if you're reading this, I hope that it may have helped you, or it may give you an insight on how to help someone close, or you may be reading it thinking "what a load of bollocks". Either way, thanks for reading, keep smiling.