What Was The Solution To My Living In Long-Term Recovery?

"I'm Denise and I am a woman in long-term recovery." I use this as a means to share my recovery story. I needed to respect the anonymous program I have been involved in for 43 years. The respect has to do with not talking about the program at the level of press, radio, or film.

It is okay to say "what this means for me is that as a woman in long-term recovery, I haven't found it necessary to drink alcohol or take illicit drugs for 41 years."

What did I do? What was the solution?

1. Some say it is as easy as putting the plug in the jug, reading the big book, and going to meetings.

2. Getting a sponsor to support me in recovery.

3. Working the steps of a sobriety program, as they are suggested.

Then there were things like...

4. Go to 90 meetings in 90 days. I didn't go to treatment right away. (This is about making connections)

5. Get a job at those meetings. My first job was washing ashtrays and I had quit smoking before I attended. It was about being willing to do for others. And I am comfortable now at any meeting, anywhere because of that simple job.

6. Come early and stay late. I hated that but I got to know others that could help me. It helped me with humility. Many people don't know that one as they come late and leave early. That doesn't appear to work for them!

After months of recovery, why was I still wanting to drink and use drugs?

7. I asked in a conversation with HP for the obsession and compulsion to be removed as it wasn't leaving on its own. Someone told me to act as if I believed that would work. And it did.

8. Working on the steps to get my answers and the promises. It was so worth the effort! I have had the promises for probably 40 years.

Examples of the promises (off the top of my head): You will not regret the past or wish to close the door on it. You will know peace. Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations that used to baffle us. There are about 8 more! All true for me!

9. Service is important! Working with others. Taking the focus off of me and my petty problems. Giving back for all that I have received. It doesn't matter how far into the gutter we may have gone or been, as our stories will help others. And even when we can't help someone, the effort helps us!

It is nice that it is a 'We' program, a spiritual program.

10. Some people get a long-term recovery in religion. I have heard testimonies that sound similar to recovery stories I am more familiar with. (I had uncles that were ministers and a brother and sister-in-law that went that route. I know many others.)

Some get it in the culture. Now, it is possible to get a long-term recovery in the culture. As an American Indian, we only got religious freedom in 1978, the year I first got into recovery. It was still pretty much underground. I found my way to ceremonies in those early years and participated in the culture where possible.

I got it by going to meetings. And the culture has made a difference in the quality of my recovery.

11. People doing this alone are usually crabby, miserable, unhappy people with little to no serenity. Someone labeled this 'Dry drunk'. 'Restless, irritable, and discontent' in my program means I have to double my efforts. I learned that early on. It was simple - I wanted to drink/use drugs, and so if I was miserable enough, I would get to use. I have heard several others say many times, "Here, drink this alcohol, you are so miserable, just take it!" And other versions of that a loved one has said to them.

12. God, HP, Creator, Gichimanidoo (Great Spirit), and Giizhiimanidoo (Loving Spirit) all words for a Higher power that helps me when I can turn my will and life over. Many people use other groups of recovering people as that HP as they are atheist or agnostic, or simply have a reason for not wanting to believe that there is a God or a God for them. Then there are other people in the US and other countries that have other names for Creator God. Seems as though everything works. God is love!