What Happened This Morning?

When I woke up this morning, I was in pain with my teeth. I have had pain for many years due to being unable to find a dentist who could cope with my dental trauma and PTSD.

Good news! I found one now.

I also relapse into a depression on days like this, and that can make it difficult to not want to get out of bed in the mornings.

I wanted to stay in bed all day and do nothing. It has been one of those mornings when I got annoyed with myself for being in pain. Then I got annoyed with myself for needing painkillers. Once I got over that, and managed to take them; everything flooded through my head.

• Oh no! I have too much to do.
• I don't want to clean or write today.
• Everything is hard work.
• I never have time for myself.
• This day is going to be so difficult.
• I look and feel like shit.

These negative thoughts just made me want to stay in bed even more. However when you let negative judgements interfere with your day, especially if you have depression; you'll end up staying in bed doing nothing, and things will pile up.

These negative thoughts then overwhelm you and stay with you for days. You'll then feel worse the next day, as your 'to do list' only grows bigger.

We all have depressing days. Even those who do not have a history of mental health problems have depressing days; especially when they have too much to do during the day. Not a single person in this world can tell me they don't have days when they do not want to get up.

I dealt with my morning by telling myself:

• If I do not take those painkillers, I will be in pain all day.
• If I get up now; I can get my chores done, and then I can write.
• It would be nice to see my sofa clean. I and my husband will have somewhere comfortable to sit.
• If I get things done today; I can do new things tomorrow.

I hate painkillers with a vengeance. However, while I am waiting for a dental appointment; I'd rather take them than put up with severe pain all day. I do sometimes use herbal remedies, though they do not always work. I also see a doctor when my pain is really bad.

When we are in pain, the day can feel more overwhelming which can increase our mental health problems.

I realized that pain was exacerbating my depression, so I swallowed my shame and took the painkillers as I needed them.

When I woke up, there were many other things on my mind and not just pain. I was overwhelmed by things I needed to do. This is a common issue for most who suffer from mental health problems. I weighed up the pros and cons, then did things in small chunks using the rule:

What can't be finished today, can be finished tomorrow.

It is o.k. to have bad days. It is even o.k. to have days when you don't want to get up. However, doing one small task followed by something that you love can be much more satisfying than wallowing in the dark for the rest of the day.

Remember too:

Just because you are depressed, does not mean that you have to punish yourself by keeping yourself in physical pain. There is a stigma attached to painkillers, with many people promoting herbal remedies. However, sometimes these don't work and also leave more nasty side effects.

Pain can leave us miserable and unable to start the day.

It is o.k. to have bad days, and it is o.k. to take painkillers when you need them. Just remember, for more serious issues, see your doctor.