We Are Us--Part 1

"I thought it was just a dream. I thought...maybe I could have been wrong." I mumbled frigidly, " They said that they knew things, things we as humans don't have the mental capacity to properly comprehend." I swallowed the fear that had been stuck in my throat for days. Amidst trying to finish a single thought, the silence in the room began making me sweat. The smell of fresh linen on the couch and the faint ticking of the clock started to weigh heavily on my brain. My therapist assumingly peered at me from the corner as if to say she understood, even though she didn't, while jotting down notes and memos for her next client. I've found myself questioning why I continue to return to these bull shit sessions, spilling all of my secrets out to a superficial woman holding the world’s most hypocritical coffee mug stating, "Everything will be okay". If only.

"Who are they?" She questioned. "What sort of 'things' were they referring to?" I paused. 'How do I explain to her what happened' I thought to myself. Abruptly, as if my mind wasn't in shock already, she spouted from her mouth, "Charlie, are you okay? You seem confused." I nodded in agreement. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in...Go.

"They said they've seen death, and sickness. They said that they are death, and sickness," my heart shattered as if I had just seen a tragedy, "they said that...they said that..." Why can't I just spit it out? Taking another deep breathe, I continued, "They said that they are everything. They came to me just a few days ago, I thought I was asleep. In my dream I was staring out the window to my balcony and up at the stars, wondering if anyone could be looking back. When I turned around, they were standing there by my bedroom door, faceless, but not lacking emotion; Intimidating, yet, also welcoming. They had a kind presence. I wasn't scared because, for some reason, I'd had the overwhelming feeling to just be calm. It had to have been them keeping me calm...right?"

Appearing to be short of breath, and also somewhat confused, she said exactly what I was afraid of hearing. "It was just a dream, my dear. Reflect upon your recent actions and change the way you are, maybe then your night terrors will subside." I was speechless. She didn’t even try. Assumption, this was one of the topics "They" spoke to me about. All I knew is that I had to get out of this God-for-saken room before I snapped. Simply but swiftly I said my goodbyes, and walked back into the streets I had mourned just a few days prior. The streets I had seen covered with bodies, and burning homes, carts, and crops.

Home, that’s where I wanted to be, unfortunately my voice was itching to be heard by someone. Anyone who would bat an eyelash towards me and lend an ear to what I had to say. The feeling was overwhelming. Knowing I needed a break I called my fiancé, Branch. His real name is Kacey, but being the avid outdoorsman he is I found that the nickname Branch suit him well. "Come pick me up, It's time for a coffee break!"

"I'll be there in five, you hungry?" His voice lifted my spirits whenever I was in need. "How was therapy?"

"I'll tell you when you get here, babe. Please, just hurry." I snapped. Apparently he got the memo that I wasn’t happy, and as always he was right on-time. The rumbling of the truck intimidated the passersby behind me on the sidewalk. Climbing into the truck, I couldn't hold back the itching anymore. "Branch," I said with exhaustion in my voice, "can I tell you something, scary, or maybe not scary but...well it might be but I guess it depends..." Why do I mumble? He just laughed, "Sure Chay," his pet name for me, “Is it about your dream, again? You've been acting strange ever since that night." He proclaimed with caution in his voice.

Suddenly I had a strong urge to look up at the sky, as if "They" were saying to pay attention. Every inch of my body started to feel as though it were a vessel to relay information, or give back, or do something, or...something. It was all so confusing. Then, without notice, while passing the local library we'd witnessed what had used to be a peaceful protest just hours earlier, turn into a massive pit of anger and concern. Police sirens began to wail and protesters, once calm and informative, began to yell and scream. Terror ripped through the crowd as two men were arrested for assaulting one another.

I was too shy. They gave me the sign to speak up, but I couldn't. As we drove away the disappointment I felt in myself grew stronger. 'Where was the peace?' I thought to myself. Tiredly I grabbed Branch's hand and watched out the rear-view mirror as what I'd thought to be a bad dream, eerily proved itself true in the way They said it already had. The peace was gone. The understanding, caring, togetherness of the human race was dissipating into anger, hatred and poison, but I knew there was hope, yet. They told me so.