Wahalalafia (Pt. 11)

by Marie Osuamoh 6 months ago in bipolar

My Talk for Bipolar Disorder

Wahalalafia (Pt. 11)

I’m thinking of going away for a while. (Don’t worry, I’m not going to jump off a bridge.) What I mean by go away, is that I want to really meditate on who Marie is.

Wahalalafia will come, of course, no doubt. But anyhow, I fantasise, like Moses, going on top of a mountain, no phones, nothing to check up on, and just me, the elements, and God.

I feel that the disadvantage of Wahalalafia is that we live in dream worlds, and rarely put our feet on the ground. We become so obsessed with celebrities and people who genuinely don’t know us, and to be fair don’t really care about us. The brain really is a strange organ. You can spend hours and hours obsessing over a guy or celebrity that doesn’t even know you.

Why? I know Wahalalafians, we are, some would say, obsessive. We obsess about things we love and shun things we hate. Unlike most people, we have a deeply emotional reaction to things. We love hard and yes, we hate hard.

That’s why it’s so healthy sometimes to step out of that irreality and connect with your spirit.

Ironically, I’m typing this from my phone lol, but irony aside, I don’t think I’m lying. I know what I’m saying is the truth. Well, I think it is.

I think I’ll go to a retreat or something, to connect with self. No noise, but the irony is that I hate silence. I ABHOR silence. But with nature, at least there’s the sound of swaying trees.

Yeh, one-sided relationships are never healthy. Most one-sided relationships are evidential of a bad relationship with self.

Sometimes we have to analyse these things. I’m watching a documentary on celebrity stalkers. I know for a fact that some Wahalalafians are stalkers. I certainly am not, lol. I’d get so bored following a star who doesn’t know me. The thing is the mind is so powerful and it’s so essential to keep your feet on the ground and not in the clouds. The advantage of having Nigerian parents is that they always keep your feet on the ground, and not live out of reality. I’m now watching a documentary on a woman obsessed with celebrities, such that she wakes up at 6 AM to chase celebrities. No one, absolutely no one, is worth you waking up at an ungodly hour! Especially a person who doesn’t even know you! Most of the time, these people lives are apparently so unfulfilling that they have to find a god to worship. We are all guilty of it though. Though I’m proud to say I’ve never chased a celebrity, and never will!

Luckily, I have a lazy streak, so my bed, which I know very well is better than a celebrity I don’t know.

Also, I’m looking to develop my relationships with people in my life. And also I’ve thought about talking to homeless people. They have so many stories. I always wonder about homeless people. What made them homeless? Is it drugs? Wahalalafia? Or both? The thing about homelessness is that it’s complicated. Some people are very unlucky.

Anyway, let’s focus on something positive. Everything is going well now. I have a job at a local Christian radio station. Hopefully, it will be a good experience. I love the idea of communication via the means of media such as radio and the like.

Anyway, I need to go to bed. I am so tired! But my mind is awake. I think I need to wind down. Reader, ASMR really helps. I love the sounds that people make. Especially mouth sounds.

Alright, I’m going to go, ciao 😁

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Read next: Never In the Cover of Night
Marie Osuamoh

I am what I am. 🤪 ok jokes aside, I’m a 25 year old british Nigerian, with cyclothymia. Trying to understand and navigate life, through music, art and everything in between. 

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