Wahalalafia (Part 13)

by Marie Osuamoh 9 months ago in bipolar

My Talk for Bipolar Disorder

Wahalalafia (Part 13)

I realised that I am mortal when I was lying down. Sometimes we take life for granted, it's ridiculous. I realise that. I have to make every moment count. As you know, I'm a floater, so sometimes it's difficult to keep my feet and mind on the ground. I don’t know why it’s difficult for me to keep my feet on the ground. I’ve always been expressive in my sentiments, in how I’m feeling, in what I’m doing.

That's the hard part of Wahalalafia. So many of us float so much, and we get distracted so easily. Our minds get distracted. (I so badly want to fold right now, but I'm bored.)

I think I need to go away for a while. At least there's bestie's hen do to look forward to. I need to just have a break, something to distract me.

I know everything will work out in time.

I'm hungry and fantasising about McDonald's fries. How can something be so wrong, but so right? Like love hahahahahaha. I honestly think the same emotion that controls how we love, controls how we eat hahahahaha. What do you think, reader?

Ok, like a weirdo, I've already started packing for the trip. I have stayed at home for a week (because of you know, she's visiting, and she's such a pain ugh). Anyway, I got really bored, looking at the four walls and my life passing by. Nothing has been happening in my life. I hate boredom and silence, because it's as if something or someone has to keep my mind going. Sometimes, it's like I'm a train and need energy (spiritual as well as physical energy), to push me and to give what I call a mental orgasm. I want to be stimulated and given new inspiration. People are settling down around me, but for some reason, I have so much vigour and so much effervescence, like as if I'm 16. I don't feel 25 and people say I look young for my age. Sometimes, it's difficult living up to the standard of being 25 (as well as watching your gluten intake, and reading enough of your Bible).

Sometimes, we as humans put so much pressure on ourselves to excel and do well. Heath Ledger said that we rarely ask this question to one another "Are you happy?" This is such a good question to ask people but I’m not sure if people given honest answers. It’s weird but oh well.

If you want to know my answer, I'd say that 99% of the time, I'm in a mixed state. A state of Wahalalafia to be honest. If you've read thus far, I think you'd be able to understand what Wahalalafia is.

You know what's funny? When I type the word Wahalalafia, there isn't a squiggly line underneath, which is cool hehehehehe. It means that this word is recognised—hahahaha which I love!

Now, I really feel like folding. Nevertheless, because she's been visiting (she is leaving soon, which is nice), I've been a hermit for a week, which is not good. I feel like I haven't breathed air. Anyway, I'm going out tomorrow to church which is cool and then need to run errands, and of course, Dubai here I come! Can't wait! The heat is probably what I need. I love spice, heat, and fire.

I hate coldness, in all of her forms. Whether it be cold wind, cold feet, cold people, or cold drinks (though I differentiate it from cool). It is not good.

Anyway, it is well always. I’m going now to fold and relax!

Marie Osuamoh
Marie Osuamoh
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Marie Osuamoh

I am what I am. 🤪 ok jokes aside, I’m a 25 year old british Nigerian, with cyclothymia. Trying to understand and navigate life, through music, art and everything in between. 

See all posts by Marie Osuamoh